@DueInAugust huge hugs!!! Give yourself a break, forgive yourself and move on... Your only human. There is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture and it's because it tips you over the edge and sends you insane. Let go of the guilt and do whatever it is you need to do to survive.. Is sleep school a possibility? Can a child health nurse or support person visit you weekly? I had bad pnd and struggled with ds's allergies and a child health nurse visited me weekly for over a year.
Keep reaching out... There are more mums then you think that have suffered through similar things. Xxxx