this is a great thread. Having shared custody now I don't go through these things anymore but before then I absolutely did, especially with DD1 who had severe colic and no one in my family would help me, in fact they now deny she had colic at all (my stepdad especially, though he hates me and likes to gaslight me this way). I remember when she was 6 months, she was crying and crying and my now ex and I took her on a drive at 3am trying to get her to settle, she hadn't slept in about 20 hours, and I started hitting myself on the head and screaming in frustration. I wish someone around me had told me i had PND rather than blaming me and saying I was just being "selfish" and "lazy". DD2 was much easier even while I was still with my abusive ex, she was a calm baby who just slept in our ringsling all the time. Parenting challenging babies and kids is the hardest thing in the world.