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  1. #391
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience86 View Post
    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.
    Omg that is horrible you poor thing
    Sending you the biggest hugs

  2. #392
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience86 View Post
    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.
    Oh gosh, you poor love, you were obviously in the mother and baby unit to get some help, why on earth would they think its ok to shout at you

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  4. #393
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience86 View Post
    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.
    How damaging of the nurse to say such a thing!! This makes me so angry. I had a horrible time at one of those places after my first child also. Nothing as horrible as you had to endure but along the same lines. A woman is SO sensitive just after having a baby and you can do real lasting damage to her self worth and confidence as a mother in those early months with what you say to her and how you treat her- especially with regard to her child. Grr. I never got over it, and my entire mothering experience with that child was adversely affected. We are ok now but honestly I have never felt good enough when it comes to my eldest. People just kept taking over and shunning me away when a I ever did was try I got the message loud and clear that I wasn't good enough, I was depressed for a very, very long time after that I just wish nurses in those places were warmer and kinder and didn't think so clinically- after all the mothers state of mind is so important to the child's future. Nothing good will ever come from putting her down even in these moments. There are ways of approaching people without f**king them up. **Huge hugs**

  5. #394
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    So here's my shameful secret..I am so sick of ds2 right now, I sometimes miss my life before kids. There is only so much screaming I can take for one day and unfortunately Ive reached that point already and Its only 10am. Counting the hours until dh is home so I can hand him over and have some freaking peace.

  6. #395
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Lily View Post
    So here's my shameful secret..I am so sick of ds2 right now, I sometimes miss my life before kids. There is only so much screaming I can take for one day and unfortunately Ive reached that point already and Its only 10am. Counting the hours until dh is home so I can hand him over and have some freaking peace.
    I feel like this at least once a week as well. My two are so close in age, it's the constant squabbling that grates on my nerves..
    I had a rare night out with an old friend from my flying days a few weeks back and it was so much fun, I can't remember laughing or genuinely enjoying myself so much for such a long time.

    When I went home to my family, all it did was highlight how exhausted, anxious and cranky I am in my every day life which made me feel extremely sad and guilty. I love my kids to the moon and back a million times over and wouldn't change being a mum for all the tea in china but some days I really hate it and would give my right arm to time travel back to my pre motherhood days.

  7. #396
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Lily View Post
    So here's my shameful secret..I am so sick of ds2 right now, I sometimes miss my life before kids. There is only so much screaming I can take for one day and unfortunately Ive reached that point already and Its only 10am. Counting the hours until dh is home so I can hand him over and have some freaking peace.
    Ugh I hear you loud and clear! I'm so freaking over my DS1 at the moment. His behaviour has seriously deteriorated since he started school and I'm in tears on a regular basis I really just want my lovely little boy back but it seems as though he's gone for good

  8. #397
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    I cried a couple of days ago when DD who has silent reflux was refusing to feed, yet again. The shameful part is that instead of crying because my adorable baby has a sore tummy, I was crying selfish tears for me. I was crying because I was thinking 'its not fair, every one else has normal babies, why did I get a baby with reflux who has to be difficult.'
    I was not really feeling sorry for her at all, I had just had enough

  9. #398
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    Quote Originally Posted by MillieMollyMandy View Post
    I cried a couple of days ago when DD who has silent reflux was refusing to feed, yet again. The shameful part is that instead of crying because my adorable baby has a sore tummy, I was crying selfish tears for me. I was crying because I was thinking 'its not fair, every one else has normal babies, why did I get a baby with reflux who has to be difficult.'
    I was not really feeling sorry for her at all, I had just had enough
    Hi milliemollymadie; I can 100% sympathize with you..my DD (now 2yrs) would cry for upto 20hrs a day (i'm not exacerbating) from colic and silent reflux from when she was 3 weeks old till 9 months of age when her reflux finally settled...

    I was soooo angry .... just like you thinking why me...2 of my friends had their bubs around when DD was born and theirs self settled, no crying issues etc...they would go out and enjoy themselves...I didnot go out or did anything till DDs reflux settled... I cried all day and all night when she did..I screamed at the walls..at god ...asking why me... I dont feel that close to DD still...she still is a terrible eater and poor weight gain so still ongoing issues...

    big huge for you!! mums who go through this should be applauded!
    is your DD on medication for her reflux? if not that go see a paed for this...its helped so much!!! also make sure you talk with any support person you have ...even if they can give so some break or lend a shoulder to cry on it will help sooo much!
    This will pass and when you DDs reflux settles you will notice such a huge change!! please please get her checked to see if she can have medictions...and if she is on something than get it reviewed...

    silent reflux is one of the most important factors in maternal and infant morbidity ... always ask for help...especially when you have had enough


  10. #399
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    After yet another morning of DS1 getting into stuff and DH getting up and telling him off resulting in him and DS2 screaming the house down and waking DS3 - I wish I could quit. Right now I just feel like I dont want to be a mother anymore. Is it really meant to be this hard? After almost 6 years of using every single parenting method we can think of with DS1 he just doesnt learn, constantly pushes every single boundary and drives me absolutely crazy. I cant do this anymore. I want to run away.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #400
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    I've already posted in this thread a couple of times because I have had my fair share of moments. I have had so many days when I wish I never had kids. I wonder what I was thinking and how am I supposed to just keep on going. Just this week alone I wanted to run away ever single day and found myself thinking of life before my boys and how much I miss it sometimes.

    I know It's not an easy fix but on the really bad days I have to look at this and remind myself there is light even if it seems so far away:


    Much love @peanutmonkey you're a real trooper xoxo


 

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