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  1. #381
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    I am a bad mum.

    My 1 year old is driving me mad. He throws tantrums all the time if I stop him doing something. He often bites and pinches me too. He whines at me constantly and pulls at me to pick him up but once I've picked him up, he won't sit still. He pulls at me, tries to grab stuff, and acts, well, like a 1 year old! I feel like I can't be in the same room as him. He doesn't do that with anyone else.

    My friends keep telling me to stop breastfeeding him but I'm not ready.

    This morning I ended up yelling and swearing at him to go away. He hurts me and this morning I just lost it.

    I feel like crap. I just want to go back to bed and stay there all day. I can't believe I yelled at him.

  2. #382
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    I'm subscribing to this to make me feel better when I need the pick me up.

    A little world of empathy

  3. #383
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    Awe, that's terrible!

    I'm so happy everything is better now!

  4. #384
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Salty View Post
    In pretty sure I'm not even half the mother I used to be.

    I lose patience easily. I find it difficult to focus on activities with my children. I'd rather take them to a park because then I can have a coffee and sit on my phone while they burn themselves out. I used to love reading to them but now I can't be bothered. I don't care about play doh or dressing up. I just want to curl up in a ball. I'm constantly telling them to "go and play" (they're 18mths and 3). Today I yelled at them to shut up. Three times. They had been fighting, whining, I'd had no sleep and I just lost it. They were terrified. So was I.

    They hardly sleep and I don't get a break and I feel so incredibly jealous of other people's calm, napping toddlers that it makes me angry at my own

    My marriage is ending and everything I'm feeling seems to be coming through in the way I parent and I can't help it. I'm so worried the babies I've made already hate me.

    My 3 year old said to me today 'please stop being angry mummy'. But I don't know how to. I just can't wait to put them to sleep so I can stuff my face and cry.
    Big hugs. I look back as that age being the absolute hardest so far for me. They're now 5 almost 4 and 7m but those first few years where HELL. Can you get a break from them? I worked three days a week and that's what kept me sane.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  5. #385
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    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Patience86 For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (24-11-2013),RipperRita  (21-11-2013)

  7. #386
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience86 View Post
    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.
    Omg that is horrible you poor thing
    Sending you the biggest hugs

  8. #387
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience86 View Post
    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.
    Oh gosh, you poor love, you were obviously in the mother and baby unit to get some help, why on earth would they think its ok to shout at you

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  10. #388
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience86 View Post
    What a great thread...i feel very comforted.

    My shameful secret occurred when ds was nine months old and we were in a mother baby unit where I was being treated for bipolar disorder/ post natal psychosis. I was holding ds and he was crying. All I wanted to do was help him stop, but he was frantic', and soon I started crying too. Dh offered to take him but I refused. I was his mother, I should know what to do. I was sobbing so dh went and got the nurses. They tried to take him from me but I refused and screamed at them to stay away. I held ds tighter and tighter. Then the nurses held me down and ripped ds from my arms. I was frogmarched back to my room and shouted at, told I was being selfish and hurting my baby. I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that ds would be better without me. I lay in bed thinking of suicide, scared to leave my room.

    I know I was sick, but I still can't forgive myself. I will never forget how it felt to have my baby ripped from my arms.
    How damaging of the nurse to say such a thing!! This makes me so angry. I had a horrible time at one of those places after my first child also. Nothing as horrible as you had to endure but along the same lines. A woman is SO sensitive just after having a baby and you can do real lasting damage to her self worth and confidence as a mother in those early months with what you say to her and how you treat her- especially with regard to her child. Grr. I never got over it, and my entire mothering experience with that child was adversely affected. We are ok now but honestly I have never felt good enough when it comes to my eldest. People just kept taking over and shunning me away when a I ever did was try I got the message loud and clear that I wasn't good enough, I was depressed for a very, very long time after that I just wish nurses in those places were warmer and kinder and didn't think so clinically- after all the mothers state of mind is so important to the child's future. Nothing good will ever come from putting her down even in these moments. There are ways of approaching people without f**king them up. **Huge hugs**

  11. #389
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    So here's my shameful secret..I am so sick of ds2 right now, I sometimes miss my life before kids. There is only so much screaming I can take for one day and unfortunately Ive reached that point already and Its only 10am. Counting the hours until dh is home so I can hand him over and have some freaking peace.

  12. #390
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Lily View Post
    So here's my shameful secret..I am so sick of ds2 right now, I sometimes miss my life before kids. There is only so much screaming I can take for one day and unfortunately Ive reached that point already and Its only 10am. Counting the hours until dh is home so I can hand him over and have some freaking peace.
    I feel like this at least once a week as well. My two are so close in age, it's the constant squabbling that grates on my nerves..
    I had a rare night out with an old friend from my flying days a few weeks back and it was so much fun, I can't remember laughing or genuinely enjoying myself so much for such a long time.

    When I went home to my family, all it did was highlight how exhausted, anxious and cranky I am in my every day life which made me feel extremely sad and guilty. I love my kids to the moon and back a million times over and wouldn't change being a mum for all the tea in china but some days I really hate it and would give my right arm to time travel back to my pre motherhood days.


 

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