I'm 14 weeks pregnant with a much wanted baby after having a miscarriage and it taking 15 months after that to get pregnant. During the first trimester, I felt so sh*t that on a few occasions it crossed my mind that if I had an abortion, I wouldn't be pregnant and feel like crap anymore. I love my baby and I'm looking forward to holding him or her in my arms more than anything. I'm so ashamed that I felt this way even for a second regardless of the fact that I know I would never have actually done it.
Some days I really don't like to be around DD1. I love her but she really is an annoying child.
Thank you for this thread. I think we all have things we are deeply ashamed of as parents, regardless of whether we should be or not.
Me, I am about to have another baby and I feel extremely guilty and worried that I haven't bonded with her like I did with my first during pregnancy. The whole pregnancy has been challenging, I just am not that excited. I say I am but I am not. I don't feel a sense of overwhelming love for her.
Part of me is just exhaustion. DH is hard work. We nearly split up a few times in the last couple of years and maybe we should have and we should have probably not gotten pregnant but we did. He is moody and sulks and yells at DS in a really scary way and I hate it. It makes me cry. I feel guilty I am bringing another child into this situation. DH isn't always like that but it can be 50/50. His dad is very sick and dying and he doesn't deal with it very well so takes it out on us but it still makes me sick to my stomach when he yells so much he makes my wee man sob uncontrollably. I apologise to him for it.
I am ashamed this pregnancy I have yelled and sworn at DS myself and that is NOT me. I am overtired and sore and have done it more than a handful of times and I am appalled at myself. Admittedly he has been at his most challenging this year but still it is not acceptable and not a standard I would like to hold myself to.
Today I am sitting here holding my DS3 who just cries and cries and a part of me wishes I didnt have a 3rd baby. I love him and wouldn't give him up now but the last 4 months have been the hardest of my lifw and I can feel every inch of my sanity slipping away and no one around me seems to care or can help.
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