God knows we all need this thread!
God knows we all need this thread!
About 6 weeks ago, I shouted (and I mean really shouted) in my son's face because he wouldn't get dressed for a birthday party. I think of it every day and it makes me cringe.
I think I have yelled at ds a few times for things like that.
Every time I do I promise I will not lose my top over that again. But it just gets under my skin that is the same thing every time.
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My baby girl is my world, my absolute everything and today I snapped and now I can't take it back
She was crying, crying, crying! Every five minutes, my head was pounding, my house look like a bomb had hit it and nothing I did seemed to stop her from screaming! I didn't mean to yell at her but I did I was so flustered and I screamed at her "would you just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up"
I didn't dare pick her up once I had hit that point I just cried I felt so guilty!!! She screamed even louder, I felt terrible! I've never felt so bad, my little girl is my best friend really we're so attached to one another it's unbelievable!
She's such an amazing, beautifully natured little girl and definitely did not deserve me screaming at her! I wish I could take it back every time I look at her or think about it I burst into tears! She is only 4 months old! After my cry I calmed down and went and picked her up and she instantly calmed down as well she looked up at me and smiled and snuggled into me and once again I burst into tears! My words were almost spit out of my mouth with such anger and spite and the poor thing was distressed enough as it was, crying for help and then gets yelled at!
No baby deserves to be screamed at I wouldn't dare tell DP he would be soooo mad at me but no-one can say anything that I haven't already told myself it was a horrible thing to do and every time I've looked at her today I've punished myself with guilt!
My poor little chickaboo, I really am soooo so so sorry for screaming at her, she deserves better treatment than that!
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Glad I found this
I had DS2 this Morning (at 1.15am thank you very much) and all I wanted to do was sleEp. My family etc and the midwives said 'oh you'll be so excited once he's here) but no, all. I rEally thought was 'thank god that's over, now take him away and let me sleep and give me space'. I felt bad, like I couldn't tell anyone.
I've just read through every single post and I feel soooo much better about some of the horrid thoughts I've had since DD was born 3 weeks ago. Hugs to everyone in this thread
Sleep deprivation is seriously awful ... I don't wish it on anyone!
I am so desperate to not be pregnant anymore but not because I am desperate to meet my baby... I feel so detached from him... When I think about going into labour I am just relieved at the thought that I wont be pregnant anymore.
I feel like it was all too easy getting pregnant this time and that something is going to happen to take him away from me, so I am scared to let myself be excited to meet him.
I must get this out so here goes:
I am mum to a 9 week old DD. I never wanted to be a mother. I knew deep down I was too selfish for motherhood. I knew I'd be terrible at it. Babies tend to dislike me.
I met my DH 3 years ago and he told me right away how keen he was for a baby. Approaching 40 I could see why. He never pushed me though. Oh no, I was stupid enough to do that to myself.
Our TTC journey was tough and long. That should have been a dead give away right there. But nope, I had to stubbornly persist. Because I'm stupid like that.
Now that our long awaited daughter is here I wish more than anything I could turn back the clock. I'm not cut out for this. In fact, I suck at being a parent and I especially suck at being a mother.
I try to put her on routines and am constantly changing things on her to make it easier for me. Yes, I'm a horrible selfish human being who doesn't deserve this precious girl laying beside me
DH isn't much help. He claims to have wanted this more than anything yet I have to prompt him to have one on one time with her. Even then he pulls out his phone to play poker
I feel like he fooled me. I feel ripped off. It wasn't meant to be like this. I was supposed to have a baby that sleeps all night. I was supposed to have a husband who would share the load with me. I hate this so much ...
So here I am at rock bottom. I've thrown out all the books that tell me what to do and what routine ti have my girl on. It's about time I stopped being a selfish a$$ and just let her lead. So now I will. I must lean once and for all you can't control a human being ...
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