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  1. #261
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    Default Re: Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    I just wanted to add my 4yo is driving me nuts at the moment, like absolutely freaking, eye-twitching insane. He was spitting in the car -we had been to the beach and he said he had a bit of sand in his mouth., told him to stop, he kept doing it told him to
    stop again ' GOD HELP ME STOP SPITTING OR I'LL PULL OVER AND LEAVE YOU ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD' then sil informed me it was dd blowing raspberries trying to copy him.... I felt awful, but he stopped whinging for 5 mins, which is some kind of record for him *sigh*


    **Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

  2. #262
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    I lurk around BH finding different topics to read every night. I'm not sleeping so it's great for keeping me occupied.

    I'm glad this topic got bumped and I hope it stays open for a long time. I haven't had DD yet but she'll be here soon and I think I'm going to need to visit this thread again. The support and bravery shown is phenomenal and is what I was hoping for when I joined BH.

    I'm already wondering how I'm going to cope with a crying baby that might not stop crying, when I can barely keep my cool when our cats start meowing incessantly at me. What do they want?! They've been fed, got clean trays, have water and still won't shut up! How will I cope with a baby?

    On the flip side, I worry that I'll be too territorial to accept anyone's help. I'm already so paranoid that if we leave her with our parents they won't respect our wishes regarding her health and safety and will do whatever outdated, unsafe thing THEY think is best. I'm exhausted just by my train of thought already and yet in 4 short weeks I'll be responsible for a tiny human and expected to cope. It's terrifying.

  3. #263
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    London, i stumbled upon this thread. Thanks for starting it, think i do need a place to share my feelings. Looks like we are similar in one way at least, my DS1 is 7 and i just had my DS2. Have posted in another section but didnt get any reply...so maybe i will just vent it out here as well...

    I am feeling quite blue recently. Some days I feel that I am in control and things are well but some days I feel otherwise, feel like I am going crazy, feel overwhelmed, and ashamed cos I only have TWO kids! How do big families work?!

    DS1 is 7 and recently been very testing. He seems to challenge my every instruction. When I told him to come bathe he would say he has important things to do, and whether he can bathe the next day. When I say no he would protest. When I say come I read you a book now (usually during bed-time before DS2 arrived 3 months ago), I would try to slot it in the day when bub doesnt need my attention. He would try to delay too. He has 101 things he wanted to do nowadays...using the internet, watching tele, drawing, playing etc. I tried telling him that when his bro doesnt need my attention, I need to get him bathed and read him a book etc etc cos I wont be able to do so when bub needs me. He says he understand what I mean but he reacts otherwise. Very often my requests and his protests end up in a sort of squabble. I must really insist then he would relent but would give me this glare. I hate the look on his face. I hate it when he grumbles and mutters loud enough for me to notice but too soft for me hear what the words are exactly.

    We have DS1 for 7 years now, he has had every attention from DH and me. It was a long journey before we have DS2. I am so happy to be a mother again. But at the moment, I feel very lousy. I feel like I am losing my big boy. I feel like I am losing control over him. He is suddenly so mean and defiant. Is this normal behaviour for a 7YO? Or is he reacting because of his brother? He says he finds his bro cute but we can see that he is jealous too. He helps out with his bro whenever I ask him to.

    I feel very inadequate at the moment. I was on cloud nine a while back but suddenly I feel quite down. I feel like I am not a good mum to DS1 but I want to be with DS2 so much. I never expected myself to feel this way cos we really wanted to have another baby, a sibling for DS1 to grow up with. My attention is now split and I feel like I don't have enough time for each of them.

    During these 3 months, DH had spent time out with DS1 and I have also taken DS1 out shopping on my own. We still cuddle him as much as we can, read him books and play board games with him. I definitely spend most time with bub, it cant be helped. DS1 does get reprimanded a fair amount cos he's up to a lot of mischief esp with more time (sch holidays) on his hand. But we also affirm our love for him all the time. He drives me mad in the day nowadays esp his attitude. As I type I do suddenly realised I have been giving him a lot of negative attention cos of his poor behaviour. Probably can try out changing my responses and see which way things go.

  4. #264
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Subbing

  5. #265
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Subbing! Great thread!!

  6. #266
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    My 7 month old DS has discovered screeching and does it ALL.THE.TIME.

    I can't stand it and don't know how to stop it but wish he would vocalize another way. Bring back the fake cough!!

    Dreading our 20 hour flight in two weeks and the glares from passengers.

  7. #267
    EternalOptimist's Avatar
    EternalOptimist is offline Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt; never say you have reached your last attempt until you have succeeded.
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Subbing so I can read later when DS is having his usual 40min nap :-(

  8. #268
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    Default Re: Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    By heart goes out you you hunn, what a horrid experience! Hope she's okay now

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  9. #269
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    I had a case of the blues after having ds1. I was thinking how can I be feeling like this when i longed for him for so long. I felt so guilty and felt like a terrible mum for these feelings. i would often just leave ds in his cot crying because i couldnt settle him. He was a very unsettled bub and the sleep deprivation was terrible. He had reflux and colic, he wasn't gaining weight. I suspected the reasons behind it was due to not having good quality breast milk as he was just so hungry all the time but i had alot of milk so i knew the quantity was good. Then the nurses, health nurse made me feel silly when I expressed my concerns and that made me more frustrated and useless. Then eventually when ds was 4mths old my dr told me I had zero iron and to stop bf and put bub on formula. So I did and things changed overnight and ds thrived and I started to enjoy motherhood. Those months were so terrible.

  10. #270
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Subbing, was looking for this thread the other day.


 

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