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  1. #181
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    Oh kitty, huge huge hugs to you xx you are a wonderful mum and have helped so many of us on this forum when we have been doing it tough.

    I wish I could help you some how but I guess i can only send some

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and your babies

  2. #182
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    Oh kitty ... You are an amazing mum and an amazing woman ...

    You're also human ...

    Be kind to yourself ... oxo


    ** end of transmission **

  3. #183
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    Kitty!!!!! Your a fantastic mummy, you've just had a bad day!!!!!

    I hope your little munchkins get better really soon.

    HUGE HUGS HUN!!

  4. #184
    heeeeerekittykitty's Avatar
    heeeeerekittykitty is offline My babies, my cats ....ahhhh , bliss !!!
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    ...
    Last edited by heeeeerekittykitty; 02-09-2011 at 13:55.

  5. #185
    heeeeerekittykitty's Avatar
    heeeeerekittykitty is offline My babies, my cats ....ahhhh , bliss !!!
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    You girls are all so beautiful THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU .

    You are always among the first hubbers to offer hugs and kind words to anyone struggling and this place wouldn't be what it is without people like you all, so thank you again . Love kitty xo


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub

    Me <3 Dh

    DS - 19 months
    DD - 5 months
    2 darling kitty cats

  6. #186
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    Kitty baby doll & more I'm here or fb for you. Everyone above is right, you're an amazing mum! Xx

  7. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by heeeeerekittykitty View Post
    This thread couldn't have been resurrected at a better time for me and I am going to sit here right now and read every post again from start to finish , anything to ease this disgusting guilt I feel *sob*.

    Today I feel like a very mean mummy . I have been in tears from 6am with two seriously unwell kids and come 9pm I'm at breaking point with the hysterical crying from DS when I so much as try to move out from under him as he's attached to me like a leach on the couch to attend to he's sister who's also cried cried cried and more cried all day and yep , still crying while I try to console them both at once . Because they both only want mummy , why that is, god only knows as I certainly don't feel like a deserving mum today .

    DH just said " why are you crying ???" . Um because I've got a whole night and another day of this ahead of me !! A more honest answer works have been I'm crying out of shame , that my two beautiful babies are unwell yet I've yelled at them so many times today to go to sleep, stop crying, give me just ONE second to get your bottle or medicine or food without screaming at my leg , the list goes on. How dare I ? Just because they don't know I'm shouting at them as they are too young and don't even blink an eye to my yelling it doesnt make it right :-(

    I feel so heartless and sad and alone .
    Re- reading this thread will hopefully do me some good. Hugs to all the previous posters before me.
    Kitty I hope you have had a better day today?
    And honestly, there is no shame in feeling overwhelmed and just plain OVER IT. You are not an awful mum! Look at all of the wonderful people here who think the world of you

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to MamaC For This Useful Post:

    laurea  (24-02-2012)

  9. #188
    MuminMind's Avatar
    MuminMind is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Helpful Member, Member I'd Most Like To Meet, Most Community Minded Thread, Best Potential Moderator and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    I absolutely love this thread, London. Thank you so much for writing it, and thank you to all the parents in here who have shared their secrets.

    I could write a book on the topic, but for right now I am just going to read through, then pat myself on the back and remind myself that I am relatively normal.

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    3'llhavetodo  (21-10-2011)

  11. #189
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    GFgh

  12. #190
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    Edit: My DD is fine now and the results came back that it was a benign scar tissue forming from how her palate was fusing together. This story could distress or upset people.


    I know this is an old thread but since it has been bumped I have to contributed to it. This is going to be a long one but ive been holding it in for so long. This is my most shameful secret as a mother of 9 months.

    I hold a lot of guilt and shame over DDs surgery she had at 4 months old. We found a hard lump in the middle of her palate one day and took her to the GP. He sent us to a Paediatric Surgeon who then sent us to the Craniofacial Professor David David here in Adelaide.

    We went and saw him and he confirmed she would need surgery to remove it, because he didnt know what it was but thought it may be a cyst and it was growing consistently. I cried so much that my little baby needed surgery and she would have to go under etc etc... but everyone assured me it would be a simple surgery and she would be in and out and it would be like nothing had happened to her. The professor said it was no big deal and it would be a 15 minute surgery and she would likely be home that night.

    Fast forward to the day of her surgery we arrived early and DD had been fasting from the booby since 3am that day. She was supposed to go in first but something changed with the surgery line up and she didnt end up going in till around 11am for surgery. So she was hungry etc by that stage.

    I didnt cry or anything until they took her away from me and then I broke down and cried so much and my poor DH was so scared as well.

    We went back to the ward and waited for her surgery to be over and she was brought back to us obviously hysterical from the anesthesia etc. I just held her and tried to get her to calm down and nap and tried a few times to get her to feed but she wouldnt. A nurse came in and gave her Ibuprofen as a pain killer. At the time I thought to myself, is that OK because they told us no Ibuprofen for 2 weeks before the surgery, and I asked and she said it was written up in her charts as approved relief so I let it go.

    I took my shirt off and she fell asleep on my chest. She woke up about an hour later and I had blood all over my chest DH and I freaked out and called the nurse in and she checked her wound and it was still bleeding. They then got the assistant surgeon to the professor in to look and he explained they didnt stitch or cauterize the wound because they never need to with oral surgery, as it clots and heals so quickly.

    He just said the bleeding would settle down and to keep doing what we were doing. I told him about the Ibuprofen and he got really angry and said that was bad and not to tell the professor because someone would lose their job over it.

    DD took some milk in about an hour later and had another nap. My sister then came in to visit and she was holding her as she was crying and walking her around. She fell asleep and my sister went to put her down in the cot and blood poured out of her mouth onto the pillow. I called out for the nurse who then got the resident doctor in who checked and suctioned some of the blood out and told us once again that it was normal and she will bleed for a while.

    Fast forward 7 hours of watching my husband hold our daughter with her blood all over him with her crying non stop on a drip for fluids as she wasnt drinking and still bleeding. The nurses would come and go and not really do much for her. I knew something was so wrong at this point but I didnt demand they get the professor back I just trusted that they knew what they were doing and that they had my daughters health in their best interests.

    My husband was holding her and she vomited blood all over him and I screamed for the nurse as she went pale and limp in his arms. She didnt look like my daughter at all.

    They called the professor finally and he demanded that his assisting surgeon come in and fix the bleeding. She was rushed in for emergency surgery and we were so scared at this point. We were waiting in the ward, obviously a mess and we heard the nurse talking over the phone about emergency blood transfusions etc. An hour later we were taken to see our daughter and we were told she needed to go to the PICU as she had lost so much blood that she wouldnt make it through the night without an emergency blood transfusion.

    She eventually got better and she is perfectly fine now but I hold so much guilt and shame over letting the nurse give her the ibuprofen which the hospital did an investigation into and they consider this the cause of the bleeding. I hold so much guilt and shame for not voicing my concerns to the nurses and doctors that something was wrong with my baby. I knew in my heart that it was wrong but I just trusted them. Its my job to protect my baby girl and I feel like I failed her in this moment. I know its not the same sort of thing that others have posted in here but its mine.

    I am a complete mess right now so I better stop typing
    Last edited by Stumbleine; 22-10-2011 at 03:43.

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