I have holes in the plasterboard above my bed, where I punched the wall because DS woke for the gazzillionth time that particular night, after sleeping badly for months. I was screaming and sobbing at the same time, totally hysterically inconsolable, as I punched holes in the wall above my head.
I keep them there to remind me that nobody is, or can be an island.
Sleep deprivation is hell, and parenting is hard. Nobody can do it alone.