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  1. #11
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    I have a Dad and a Step Dad who were was my primary carers (I spent every second weekend with my Mother)...

    My bio-parents split when I was 12, and I lived with Dad and his partner from then onward. My life was no different to my friends, I had friends sleep over, went to parties, had boyfriends, went to school...pretty normal...though we went to lots of galleries, ate awesome food, got to sample lots of lovely wine, and lived in an amazing house...I guess the only difference was I was more privileged.

    My brother is gay too (but my mum was his primary carer) and I have 2 gay cousin, 2 lesbian aunts and and a bi-sexual aunt too...My family is totally infected...

    What are your conclusions?
    Last edited by Luna Lovegood; 26-02-2011 at 20:59.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Ha ha, maybe you should start by expressing these conclusions and see what happens
    I agree, what are your concerns Pax ?
    If she is in your care (are you a foster carer?) It may be because of in proper behaver of a women (mother) and nothing to do with being gay.

    I know many gay families both singles or couples parenting. At times yes we raise and child/children differently. Some more open minded, some cross dress and some just plain weird that that does not mean they are bad parents.

  4. #13
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    You know, I don't think you need to hear people's experiences with this to realise that judging all same-sex parents based on one person's experience with one set of same-sex parents is just as silly as saying, "Well, that Austrian guy, Josef Fritzl, hid his daughter in an underground dungeon and raped and impregnated her... therefore all Austrian fathers are rapists." I think you're smart enough to realise that Pax.

    The person who has shared their experience with you probably just had cr*ppy parents - and that can happen regardless of gender. Plenty of people will have rotten childhoods - and they'll come from same-sex parents, single parents, blended families, foster families, living with grandparents, poor hetereosexual parents, rich heterosexual parents, atheist parents, Islamic parents, Christian parents, Hindu parents, white parents, black parents, asian parents, conservative parents, liberal parents, parents with long hair, parents with short hair... etc etc. Bad parents come in all forms, and it'd be horrible to paint all same-sex parents with the same brush just because of one person's not-so-great experience.

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  6. #14
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    My sister and her partner are raising their ivf triplets. Amazing kids. Amazing parents.

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    You know, I don't think you need to hear people's experiences with this to realise that judging all same-sex parents based on one person's experience with one set of same-sex parents is just as silly as saying, "Well, that Austrian guy, Josef Fritzl, hid his daughter in an underground dungeon and raped and impregnated her... therefore all Austrian fathers are rapists." I think you're smart enough to realise that Pax.

    The person who has shared their experience with you probably just had cr*ppy parents - and that can happen regardless of gender. Plenty of people will have rotten childhoods - and they'll come from same-sex parents, single parents, blended families, foster families, living with grandparents, poor hetereosexual parents, rich heterosexual parents, atheist parents, Islamic parents, Christian parents, Hindu parents, white parents, black parents, asian parents, conservative parents, liberal parents, parents with long hair, parents with short hair... etc etc. Bad parents come in all forms, and it'd be horrible to paint all same-sex parents with the same brush just because of one person's not-so-great experience.
    Absolutely agree, fantastic post Sassy.

  8. #16
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    Veritas is offline Diversity has value.... How boring would the world be if everyone was just like you...
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    You know, I don't think you need to hear people's experiences with this to realise that judging all same-sex parents based on one person's experience with one set of same-sex parents is just as silly as saying, "Well, that Austrian guy, Josef Fritzl, hid his daughter in an underground dungeon and raped and impregnated her... therefore all Austrian fathers are rapists." I think you're smart enough to realise that Pax.

    The person who has shared their experience with you probably just had cr*ppy parents - and that can happen regardless of gender. Plenty of people will have rotten childhoods - and they'll come from same-sex parents, single parents, blended families, foster families, living with grandparents, poor hetereosexual parents, rich heterosexual parents, atheist parents, Islamic parents, Christian parents, Hindu parents, white parents, black parents, asian parents, conservative parents, liberal parents, parents with long hair, parents with short hair... etc etc. Bad parents come in all forms, and it'd be horrible to paint all same-sex parents with the same brush just because of one person's not-so-great experience.
    Absolutely!!!!! The quality of parenting that one exhibits is certainly not determined by the sexuality of a couple....

  9. #17
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    I cant say it is really a conclusion.. poor choice of words there.

    What I wanted to know is; no offence intended either.

    Her mother was a very butch lesbian woman. Her daughter explained to me her mother always dressed her like a boy and that is why she doesnt like wearing females clothes now...

    Had me wondering if that was very fair on the daughter.. but I guess it really doesnt matter in the scheme of things, but it would be nice to see this girl dress nicely have better hygiene and speak a little more decently.

    so yes prob more poor parenting than due to sexuality.

  10. #18
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    2plusbaby is offline <------ "Jellybean" at 12wks 5days
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    I was raised by my mother and her girlfriend. (I remember my Dad so I never considered her a "Second Mum"). I don't believe I was raised any different to any other child. If there were any differences they would be that we were raised knowing the no matter what we chose in our life, sexually, or otherwise was up to us and we would be supported for our feelings and decisions.

    As an adult I thank that I had the experience of being raised in a household that was open-minded, and accepting in all aspect of life. I'm now 27yo I have a beautiful family, am engaged to be married and have a successful career. (None of which is different to anyone else...generally)

    I have 3sisters and a brother also. None of us are homosexual but we are most accepting of everyone and their personal choices of self expression.

    So what is the concern you have with this young one in your care??

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  12. #19
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    2plusbaby is offline <------ "Jellybean" at 12wks 5days
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    I cant say it is really a conclusion.. poor choice of words there.

    What I wanted to know is; no offence intended either.

    Her mother was a very butch lesbian woman. Her daughter explained to me her mother always dressed her like a boy and that is why she doesnt like wearing females clothes now...

    Had me wondering if that was very fair on the daughter.. but I guess it really doesnt matter in the scheme of things, but it would be nice to see this girl dress nicely have better hygiene and speak a little more decently.

    so yes prob more poor parenting than due to sexuality.
    My opinion would be the daughter dresses like the mother as she loves her mother. Regardless of how she has been treated, she wants, like most little ones, to be like her mother. That at this time may be the only thing about her mother she relates too.
    Honestly if she has come into your care from problems or lack of parenting, the clothes she wants to wear really are the least of it and more important things should be looked at...

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  14. #20
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    she is 18... We have just been trying to help her ... I have been trying to teach her that appropriate appearance helps with employment and attitudes from others.

    Whether we like it or not that is the case in this world and a certain level of conformity helps a lot when attempting to get employed.


 

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