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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by I am not Esther View Post
    I think that since anorexia is a mental disorder based on issues outside of food - i don't think its comparable to obesity at all.

    To me, the appropriate 'opposite' of obesity would be people who don't eat for *non-weight gain related reasons* (laziness, time restraints, etc) rather than because they want to lose weight.
    This is me. i'm not anorexic. i may join in discussions about weight, but end of the day i cbf what i weigh. But i have a relationship with food that is the exact opposite of someone who is obese because of bad choices. I make bad choices.

    If i'm hungry, i will try to find food (often after letting my hunger build for a long time), but often become bored of the food selection i have, so simply choose not to eat, rather than eat something unhealthy. If i have time pressure, instead of going for fast food, i will skip a meal because i didn't feel like fast food any way. Or i may have an apple as a meal - not because its 'only' a set number of calories, but because i just didn't have the time/desire to make myself a proper meal.

    THIS i believe is comparable to people who are obese due to lifestyle reasons.
    and neither should EVER be compared to anorexia i think that's offensive to everyone.
    Overeating isn't necessarily directly related to food. I have a mild binge eating issue, although I've had it under control for the last three months.

    Basically, when I feel frustrated or out of control, I have an overwhelming urge to buy and consume sweets or chocolate. Whether I'm hungry at the time is completely irrelevant. I find it most often happens at work, say if my boss says something unreasonable to me, but that I can't change, it would just strike me, and I would just go and buy whatever was available - a block of chocolate or a bag of sweets, and consume them in a short period, but sort of secretly in my office. I'm not a psychologist, but there's a lot more than just food going on there.

    It is different to say, me being hungry, and choosing a chocolate bar over an apple.

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  3. #42
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    You're right msmummy - i meant to come back and change what i had written but the toddler started shrieking

    i know that there are cases where obesity is because of a similar struggle to anorexia but the 'social epidemic of obesity' that we're supposedly seeing in our country these days, is more the result of poor choices, even if those poor choices later result in binging behaviour.
    but i'll admit that obesity isn't something i know a great deal about. I certainly don't think its better than anorexia - but i think in most cases they're not comparable. (*i* think that - with my limited knowledge )

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    Having been anorexic I think being obese is worse.. but that is just my mental problems talking

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  6. #44
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    I think it can be very hurtful to declare one as worse than the other.

    How can someone sit there and SERIOUSLY say that people don't say nasty things about obese people? Or nasty things about very thin people? I've seen it happen to both... NUMEROUS times.

    Anyone who things obese people don't cop sh*t is kidding themselves. You get, "Should you really be eating that?" You get shouted horrible things from d-heads in their cars. You get ignored by the opposite sex. You get criticised for being lazy. You get told to "eat better and exercise more," as if that's some magical knowledge you wouldn't have known if that person didn't tell you, and that with that magical knowledge, you will now successfully lose weight. You can be turned down for jobs because you don't have the right look/image for that job. You're relegated to shop in "fat shops," and either pay a fortune for your clothes or dress like you're in your 60s because that's all there is that's gonna fit you. People come on places like BH and b*tch about you eating McDonalds or whatnot. Don't deny it - it happens here all the time. There's PLENTY of cr*p fat people cop just for being fat.

    Likewise, I assume skinny people cop similar. "Stick a burger in her!" would be one I've heard a million times. They watch what you eat. They judge what you eat. They comment on what you eat. The make comments about anorexia - even if you're not anorexic. I can't add too much as I've never been personally effected by such judgements, but I'm not so stupid as to believe it doesn't happen or that it's worse to be obese. Both would hurt. A lot.

    BOTH obesity and being very underweight can lead to permanent health problems - mostly surrounding the heart. Both are at a greater risk of heart attack and then death as a result. If death isn't permanent, I dunno wtf is.

    I do believe though, that anorexia and bulimia are seen as eating disorders, but those suffering from overeating or binge eating are simply "lazy," or "stupid," or something else, and it's hard for anyone to see these issues as serious. I hope that this thread can at least show some people that overeating and binge eating are eating disorders as well, and just as hard and just as bad for you as anorexia and bulimia.

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  8. #45
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    i firstly wanted to say that there seems to be a perception in this thread (and society as a whole) that if someone is underweight they must have an eating disorder. This is simply not true. I am quite underweight and have to work very hard to even maintain my weight, i do not have an eating disorder but am constantly questioned by friends, doctors, strangers about my eating habits. It is not unusual for people to come up to me on the street and tell me to eat something or ask me how often i make myself vomit after meals. This is just as hurtful as making fun of someone who is overweight and i think people need to be mindful of this and not automatically assume that thin people must have an eating disorder.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post

    There have been so many threads on here that make fun of "fat" people. I'm yet to see one that makes fun of skinny people.

    I don't see anybody tell an anorexic to eat more, but you have even stated that they could eat less. It's not that easy to fix.t.
    Honestly, i think this is a matter of perception. I honestly don't think there have been that many threads about 'fat' people but of course since I'm not overweight I tend not to notice them. Let me assure you, there are many posts on here that make light of people who struggle to gain weight. I have seen many mums on here looking for strategies to gain weight only to be answered with 'eat more' or 'i can't believe you're complaining about being too thin'. It hurts just as much, believe me.

    How often these days to we see curvy women referred to in the media as 'real women' ? Apparently wearing a size 6 renders me 'fake' or 'artificial'? . I have been told off by checkout operators for buying vegetables as I 'need to fatten myself up'. When I went for my 12 week ultrasound with DD the ultrasound techician joked that there was no need to use the machine, she would just hold me up to the window and see right through me. Size discrimination is rampant and it goes both ways

    To answer the OP, does it really matter which is worse? Can we even make that call. People who suffer from anorexia or bulimia should have access to help, as should those who struggle with disorders related to overeating. Making comments about their eating habits does not help, and likely makes things worse.

    But, not everyone who is very over or underweight suffers from one of these disorders and i think we often simply assume that they do. It is easy to tell a 'fat' person to stop eating, just as it's easy to tell someone 'skinny' to eat a hamburger, as if those two things were the magic cure to all weight issues. Reality is we don't know if someone's weight is a result of their eating habits, or genetics, or a medical issue, or an eating disorder.

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  10. #46
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    Things said to me when I lived with anorexia nervosa side affects...

    You look like a string with a knot tied in it (when pregnant)
    you are starving your baby (who is now 18 and quite healthy with a high IQ)
    The wind will blow you away
    Men: "Blokes like a skinny ****" "I could snap you in two"
    Watch out for dogs or they will think you are a bone and try to bury you
    and the list goes on....

    Recently having a morbidly obese person living in my house I realised I have not yet completely healed from this problem which I thought I got over 16 years ago. To watch this person eat made me physically sick. Looking at their fat body was very difficult for me. I tried to imagine their own problem and the issues they had. This person was always making jokes about their body and I would say.. why do you do that it must hurt you.

    Being comfortable in our bodies is more than just media selling to us what perfection is.. it is also about using food to control our lives and our emotions. For me it was my strong value against waste and gluttony.. i did not think I deserved to eat when others starved. I detested those that enjoyed food. Which is harder/worse.. its impossible to tell. But both suffer greatly.

  11. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    Things said to me when I lived with anorexia nervosa side affects...

    You look like a string with a knot tied in it (when pregnant)
    you are starving your baby (who is now 18 and quite healthy with a high IQ)
    The wind will blow you away
    Men: "Blokes like a skinny ****" "I could snap you in two"
    Watch out for dogs or they will think you are a bone and try to bury you
    and the list goes on....

    Recently having a morbidly obese person living in my house I realised I have not yet completely healed from this problem which I thought I got over 16 years ago. To watch this person eat made me physically sick. Looking at their fat body was very difficult for me. I tried to imagine their own problem and the issues they had. This person was always making jokes about their body and I would say.. why do you do that it must hurt you.

    Being comfortable in our bodies is more than just media selling to us what perfection is.. it is also about using food to control our lives and our emotions. For me it was my strong value against waste and gluttony.. i did not think I deserved to eat when others starved. I detested those that enjoyed food. Which is harder/worse.. its impossible to tell. But both suffer greatly.
    I've never been anorexic, but I have had horrible comments and questions. 'go choke on a cheeseburger' 'guys like skinny chicks, not skeletons' and when pregnant wih dd2 I got asked from 34 weeks onwards at every appointment if I was eating, starving myself etc etc etc.
    It doesn't feel good, and I don't have any control of mg weight, it does what it wants no matter what I do.

    It's not fair for any one to say anything to another person about their weight. It's rude and it can really affect a person, and possibly make their issue worse. It's just wrong.

  12. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by minties View Post
    i


    Honestly, i think this is a matter of perception. I honestly don't think there have been that many threads about 'fat' people but of course since I'm not overweight I tend not to notice them. Let me assure you, there are many posts on here that make light of people who struggle to gain weight. I have seen many mums on here looking for strategies to gain weight only to be answered with 'eat more' or 'i can't believe you're complaining about being too thin'. It hurts just as much, believe me.
    There have been threads where people thought it was hilarious that they asked a woman if she was pregnant and she wasn't.

    There have been threads about plus sized models where people have said she looked disgusting, because she had a few curves.

    there have been threads about fat people paying for 2 seats on a plane, because that's how much room they take up.

    How do I know what hurts more? I've never been too skinny. However, there have been a few people on here, in this thread who have said that when they were obese, they were ridiculed WAY more than when they were anorexic.

    And at least you can buy (and probably look good in) size 6 clothes. Have you ever had to shop in the plus size section? The clothes are hideous. You, being a size 6 can buy anything in any fashion store.

    I am not dismissing that it doesn't hurt and I'm not saying it isn't wrong. I had a best friend who was size 6. She used to get told "oh, you look skinny today!" She used to get so upset because nobody would say to a fat person "oh, geez, you look really fat today!"

    The fact is, being size 6 is way more acceptable than being size 18 and bigger. If size 18 was so acceptable, then people of that size would be on every magazine front cover, but the reality is, they're not, unless they're on Biggest Loser.

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    Quote Originally Posted by minties View Post
    But, not everyone who is very over or underweight suffers from one of these disorders and i think we often simply assume that they do. It is easy to tell a 'fat' person to stop eating, just as it's easy to tell someone 'skinny' to eat a hamburger, as if those two things were the magic cure to all weight issues. Reality is we don't know if someone's weight is a result of their eating habits, or genetics, or a medical issue, or an eating disorder.
    Just wanted to add, my sister is size 6 too. I am a lot bigger.

    My sister eats cake for breakfast. She has her coffee with 6 sugars and a cigarette for breakfast. She always has lollies and chips in the house. She eats pies and cakes for lunch. She drinks coke. Nobody bats an eyelid.

    Me, I go to the gym 3 - 4 times a week, gave up smoking years ago, don't have any rubbish food in the house, eat fresh food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I don't drink coke. I don't drink coffee. But can you imagine the looks I would get at coffeee shops if I asked for 6 sugars with my latte????

  14. #50
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    RoarsomeMum is offline Right to speak, responsibility to listen..
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    It's standing on the edge of a seasaw really..

    at 35 I have sported both disorders.. Starving to the point of death and overeating to the point of death, for the same reasons.

    Eating is a habitual thing, whether people are working towards ultimate control to stop and thus gain nothing or whether people are working towards the ultimate goal of giving in to food and letting it control them.. Does it matter?

    There are ultra thin people who could eat more, there are ultra large people who could eat less.. THEN there are a group of people LARGE AND SMALL that have NO CONTROL over their eating habits.. - and in that way, I see the issues as similar if not the same.

    It's not a "better or worse" thing. It's a control thing.. In BOTH cases IMO.

    It's not being Obese or being anorexic that's comparable, but the being "OUT OF CONTROL" linked with BOTH that I feel is..
    Last edited by RoarsomeMum; 23-02-2011 at 17:46. Reason: Had to adjust wording and correct spelling.. and add CONTROL as the link I see

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