So MIL and I were discussing parenting styles today.
She wondered whether she 'deprived' her children by not playing with them and ruling with a rather iron fist.
After this very rare statement of doubt in her parenting choices, she was quick to say that she felt the current generation of parents (including her son and I) were far too indulgent and rattled off all the awful consequences of raising ds in this particular way.
I neatly put an end to the conversation by stating that:
*Parents do what they think will work in the best interests of their children.
*No one approach to parenting was perfect or suitable for every child.
But it got me thinking.
While I am comfortable with my approach to parenting, there are bound to be unintended consequences of this approach.
Have you ever wondered, if only for a moment, that what you think is right may infact turn around and bite you?
For example, I don't believe in the 'just because I said so' answer. I was raised in this manner and view it as a negative assertion of power.
Ds is only 2 but when I say 'no' to something, I give him a simple reason for saying no.
I feel that this approach demonstrates that we make decisions on ds's behalf based on reason not on power. That the decisions we make for him may not be well-received but are well considered and something he will come to respect. I also hope that this approach teaches ds to seek reasons for the things that happen to and around him.
But sometimes, I wonder whether I am creating a situation where I will end up explaining myself to ds at every turn. Whether I am inadvertently teaching him to be disrespectful.
Does anybody else envisage or have fleeting concerns about their own approaches to parenting?