My fault it's over!?

**waterlily** · 20-02-2011 16:12

I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant a few weeks back. I was devastated, I didn't want anything to change. I didn't want the pregnancy or the baby, I wished it was all a horrible nightmare.

It didn't take me long to fall inlove with the idea of another baby, a friend for DD and a baby to complete our beautiful family. We excitedly talked names and started to plan and get very excited.

I was so tired and sick all day and night it was totally different to when I was pregnant with DD.

Then the worst thing happened I started to bleed not enough to need a pad but enough to worry.

Off to the ER they took blood and did an ultrasound. They were all very lovely and kept saying "bleeding can be normal" then on Friday I went to get my second lots of blood taken which showed I was indeed having a m/c.

I woke up this morning bleeding very heavily, lots of clots and in so much pain.

I blame myself, I feel like me not wanting this pregnancy is why this has happened

How could I ever think a baby was a bad thing. I just can't get past this!! It's my fault we lost our little bub. I know I was only about 6 weeks but it was our 4th m/c so it just felt like my heart was ripped out yet again!!!

I just want to be pregnant again. I want to turn back time. I want to not feel this way.

If anyone got this far, thanks for listening.

**4already** · 20-02-2011 16:14

Sending you massive amounts of hugs

**delirium** · 20-02-2011 16:15

I would say your feelings are normal but unfounded. Of course it's not your fault hun

Logically there can't be any bearing between not wanting the baby for a few days/weeks and a connection to a m/c.

So sorry for your loss

**bunkx** · 20-02-2011 16:20

Hugs I'm so sorry

**Grinnyswife** · 20-02-2011 16:25

It's normal to blame yourself, but it's not your fault.
So very sorry for your loss

**Myztiks#1Fan** · 20-02-2011 16:30

its not even close to being your fault hun

**Mrs Awesome** · 20-02-2011 16:30

Nothing you thought, did or said caused this to happen.

**macncheese** · 20-02-2011 16:56

Oh Hun I am so so sorry (GBH) it is not your fault that this has happened. Sending you my thoughts and hugs. xx

**4OnEarth1InHeaven** · 20-02-2011 17:10

I agree with all PP it is definately not your fault at all! And you said you have had previous misscarriages so i take it you have trouble with holding a pregnancy, but maybe now you have both come around to the idea of another bub you can create a sticky one, best of luck and i hop all the bleeding etc stops soon

**flicker** · 20-02-2011 17:29

it is not at all your fault

thinking negative or as positive as posible can not help a miscarriage if it is going to happen. it is something that is horrible but it sometimes is the way things go.

i know it is hard not to blame yourself.

i hope that you find some peace soon and now that you know you want another baby, i hope you are blessed with one soon.