View Poll Results: If you could choose would you want

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  • male children only?

    8 11.27%
  • female children only?

    10 14.08%
  • male and female children?

    44 61.97%
  • Other

    9 12.68%
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  1. #21
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    Default It feels so reassuring that someone else feels this way

    Quote Originally Posted by swimmingup****** View Post
    I would not have cared less. It might seem that way to some who knew us, but in all fairness I'd like to explain the way things were. I was not willing to find out the gender of my baby. However when I was carrying twins, and things went bad and I ended up losing one, things went downhill and it was stated that the other surviving twin was a boy. So I spent almost the entire pregnancy thinking I was having a boy. I didn't know what the other twin was, but have convinced myself the other was a boy. When I had a baby at 36 weeks, I was expecting a boy. Even the day before at the ultrasound she was still a boy. So it's not that I was upset about having a girl, just that I was expecting a boy then had a girl and went through a sort of a grieving process because yes I was the mother of the most beautiful girl in the world but where was my son???

    So from that moment I convinced myself that the other twin that did not survive must have been my son. I have name him even though he was never born and I never found out officially what gender I was having with the non-surviving twin.

    In short, it wouldn't have mattered if I had a boy or a girl, but I would have preferred not being told, but since I was and they were wrong I built myself up to believe I was having one gender then had the other.

    not sure if that makes sense to anyone other than myself lol but that's how it was for me. I don't care either way, but would prefer to leave it as a surprise, which it was anyway, but a surprise that doesn't have medical professionals telling me I'm having one gender then I have another.
    I was always carrying a single baby by ultrasound. Both hubby and I always thought we wanted 2 kids, one girl and one boy preferably. We found out the sex at the 20 week US not because we wanted either gender but so we could pick a name and start bonding. And so we did. We named and talked to our little boy every day.

    At 34 weeks I had another US and was told it was a girl. I felt like someone had stolen my baby and replaced it with someone else's. I cried for days. A couple of very unhelpful people told me something along the lines of 'well girls are nice too- at least your baby is ok'. All true, but not helpful. All this happened at the same time as major complications for me- baby is fine, but I can barely get out of bed and it looks like it might only be possible to have just the one baby now, which also is fine- we are lucky to have one healthy baby. The problem is, it doesn't feel like this one is mine. I'm in pain, I feel isolated from the rest of the world and I feel like I am about to give birth to a stranger

  2. #22
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    Savingfishfromdrowning is offline If you can't change your fate, change your attitude
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    I don't believe in gender selection, but if I could choose I would only want girls. Don't really know why, probably because I have three brothers and would want sisters for my DD (plus sharing/recycling clothes )

  3. #23
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    I don't believe in it at all.
    You have a baby because you want a CHILD not a boy or a girl. I think its selfish to have baby after baby in hopes you will get a specific gender.

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  5. #24
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    I don't really agree with gender selection (unless there is a serious medical reason).
    I get gender disappointment - i wanted sons, i have daughters.
    Although i had a preference for a son my biggest concern was having a healthy baby.
    I feel i was meant to have my girls now and couldn't imagine it any other way

  6. #25
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    I wouldn't do it but I don't have a problem with it. I have always wanted a girl though, and I have her, so had she been a boy I may have considered it for #2. Can't really say I guess.

  7. #26
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    i wouldnt use clinical/medical gender selection but see nothing wrong with natural gender swaying techniques.

    we have 2 girls and would love our 3rd child to be a boy so will gender sway when we TTC. but we also just really want a 3rd child so wouldnt be disappointed at all if we got another princess

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by RmumR View Post
    i wouldnt use clinical/medical gender selection but see nothing wrong with natural gender swaying techniques.

    we have 2 girls and would love our 3rd child to be a boy so will gender sway when we TTC. but we also just really want a 3rd child so wouldnt be disappointed at all if we got another princess
    same here.

  9. #28
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    We have two boys with a third on the way. When we were deciding on whether or not to have a third we'd say "Shall we have another boy?" as we seem to specialise in them (also have 2 boy angels). I have to admit I would have loved a girl (and some doctors have said we were eligible for gender selection due to DS2's health conditions) but wasn't comfortable with the whole 'pop in the girl embies' thing. But now I'm not so sure - I've always imagined myself with a girl and if we decided on a fourth I would consider doing it. We've found out DS3 most likely has the same life threatening kidney issue that DS2 had (treated successfully) so that might also be swaying my decision.

    I'd be interested to find out how many people actually use something like this in the countries that allow it.

  10. #29
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    I never would want to choose using genetic testing, and I don't think it would be a huge problem here like in some other countries as PP have said. I don't see any evidence that either gender are preferred by a majority. In fact, the "pigeon pair" (one of each) seems to be somewhat prized here from what I've seen. Like when people find out I'm having a girl (ie I will soon have one of each) they seem *extra* happy for me and say how lucky I am to get one of each, which I find kind of sad in a way because a boy would have been lovely too. I'm sort of tempted to say to the next stranger who asks that she's a boy just to see if they are less excited about it

  11. #30
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    I don't believe that high-tech gender swaying is ethical.

    If I did, I would choose to have a son though, as I have a medical condition that any child of mine with have a 50% chance of inheriting, however females females are more likely to suffer due to hormones (the pill, pregnancy, ect).

    I hope this technology never becomes freely available in Australia...


 

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