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  1. #21
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    Hi Kitty I too got annoyed when he didn't get depressed when my AF arrived. It's funny though I when we spoke about iVF he finally admitted that the reason he was pushing for iVF was so I didn't get so upset each month! Wish he had of just said that at the start. I'm going to stay at a girlfriends on Friday night and go out for dinner. I think i'll just dump it all on her, poor thing, but at least us girls don't mind so much! Thanks for the advice i'll definitely try just letting him be and not try to talk about it every 5 minutes!

    toshe Congratulations it's so nice to hear when others have sucess! I had my lap at Fertility GC and found they were fine, very competent. I'm just so impressed with Dr Ong I thought I had to try him first. I think his compassion is what I need so much right now.

    teags We are ok. DH is fine, he thinks of the positives that most of the time they can find some sperm. I'm too much of a realist/pesimest I can't help but think of the small percent that they don't! A fault I am trying to overcome! I just like to have myself prepared for the worst so that i am happy if we get good results but ready if we get bad. I def highly recommend Dr Ong if your FET doesn't work. He called me yesterday to dicuss our case and even though i'm not a patient yet, he is writting me up some bloods to do this week so that when I do get to see him that part is already done.
    Good luck with your FET though. As great as he is, i really hope you don't get to go see him cause you are already UTD!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by neen3 View Post
    i sometimes feel resentment towards him that we cant just do this naturally and also that making a baby has to be so clinical. I know thats not fair but i cant help it and it doesnt make it any easier when he wont talk about it, it makes me feel like he doesnt really want a baby with me and i think deep down he is only doing it because its what i want..He has his kids so its ok for him but i dont want to miss the opportunity to be a mother and he knows that i will have to leave if he doesnt want to do this with me..I totally understand if he doesnt want a baby but i cant stay with him if he doesnt, i just cant give up being a mum for him. So at the moment i dont really know where i stand but am hoping that we can talk about it and sort it out soon.
    Oh neen I so totally get where you are coming from! It's really hard not to resent them. My reason is a little different but i still resent him for possibly not being able to give me the family that i want so badly. I too really don't know if we could stay together if he can't. I can't see how i could give up the dream of being a mum for him. It's sad that we feel this way, but i'm sure it's a pretty normal way to be feeling. I'm also sure that with time you guys will work it out together. Even though it has to be the clinical way, I'm sure he will come around. And take it from me, even a man who does want kids badly still clams up and won't talk about. It's just men honey! They don't know how to express their feelings and he probably feels terrible that he can't give you what you want. Give him a little time and some space to deal with it in his own way, and i'm sure he will come around!

  3. #23
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    Hi Ladies!

    Toshe - Congrats! That is fabulous news, you must be over the moon! That must have been very hard to go from having 13 eggs to only having a few fertilize. Did they know why that was happening?

    Teags - Where are you at with your FET? Hopefully you will be pregant very soon and won't need to change clinics! Yes, I am starting in March, should be jabbing by the second half of march, so I guess all the exciting stuff will be in April!

    Aunty - we must have similar DHs! Mine always looks on the bright side as well, sometimes I like that, and other times it is frustrating! We have MFI as well, but should have okay quantity to work with (at least in ICSI terms!).....I hope. Well at least Dr Ong said there should be enough to fertilise my eggs so that is the main thing.

    Neens - I can understand why you would get frustrated at times with the vasectomy. It's a ridiculously hard process especially when it seems like everyone else is getting pregnant at the drop of a hat! My latest strategy when talking to my DH is to talk when we are driving, or when he is concentrating on something else, he seems to open up more when he has something else to focus on! Might not work for everyone though.....

    I am a little excited today because my AF has arrived. Strange I know, but it means that this time next month I will be starting IVF. I am nervous and worried but also a little excited that we will be doing something rather than just trying the old natural way that doesn't seem to be working for us!!

    Kitty

  4. #24
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    Hi Girls! I just wanted to chime in as another happy customer of Dr Ong and Monash on the Gold Coast, I've said it before on this forum and i will say it again they are FANTASTIC!!!!!

    We got our BFP on our FIRST cycle there and i'm currently 26 weeks pregnant!!!! Besides getting our BFP the whole experience with Monash was positive and hopeful and just as good as it could be.

    Dr Ong is in short brilliant and Jan in the lab just seems like she looks after your little embies just like they were her own!! Rowena and Paulette are also great but i really don't have anything negative to say about anyone there!!!

    We travelled quite far to go to Monash even though there are clinics MUCH closer to us (we are a plane ride away) . . . but i just had this feeling when i was researching that THAT was where we had to be. That it would be the best place for us . . .and the little one currently kicking me in the belly seems to agree!!!!

    We also came to IVF for MFI and DH had good days and bad days. . . he had days when he was frustrated and angry with himself and days when he looked as if he didn't care. . . now that we're pregnant it is all a distant memory and he is so supportive. We have heaps of friends having babies at the moment and DH is clearly the most smitten expectant father. He dotes on me and fusses over me.

    We are just so grateful to Dr Ong and Monash IVF for helping us get to this point and to have this opportunity.

  5. #25
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    Sorry girls I should have mentioned before that I have severe endo & polycycstic ovaries. The reason for low fert rate 1st time round is DH samples just keep getting worse he has only about 3% healthy sperm but numbers & motility seemed ok they just didn't penetrate eggs so 2nd time round we had ICSI & I really wish we did it 1st time round.

    I wish you all the best of luck with making decisions re: clinics. It's a hard choice. If I knew now what I did when starting out I probably would have choose Dr Ong. However I feel lucky to be where I am ATM so can also recommend fertility gc.

    I hope you all get your BFP very soon, it will be well worth the wait it's so nice to have some local gc girls to chat with

  6. #26
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    I too love having some GC ladies to talk to. It will be funny if we all end up at Dr Ongs office at the same time By the sounds of things we might.

    toshe ICSI really does sound like a very sucessfull technique to get that BFP. In a way i'm sort of glad that we know now that ICSI will be our only hope and didn't wait too long TTC naturally.

    cocosmum That's great you got your BFP first time! You must be one of the lucky ones, or as I'm hoping, you just found the right clinic! You must have really been confident about Dr Ong to travel here to see him. But i know after just 1 conversation with him, I would probably travel as far as I had to to get him also.

    Kitty Yes it really is frustrating when they are so damn positive! But I guess it's better than having a negative one! I'm so excited for you that you will be starting soon! And really looking forward to hearing how you go with Dr Ong. I hope he can get your BFP first go like cocosmum!

  7. #27
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    Hey neen Yeh I agree with you there about men that don't like to talk about and resolve things. I think giving him a time limit is a good idea. Maybe remind him about sperm antibodies too. I found with my DH putting the facts out there gets more results than just telling him how I feel about it. I also agree with the seeing of pregnant woman and babies, I see them everywhere!!!! I hate feeling jealous but can't help it when i see someone with something I want so badly but cant have. Well not yet anyway, still hoping!

  8. #28
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    Hey neen I knew nothing about it either till I got on here. Sperm antibodies usually occur after a man has a vasectomy. They can occur in men who haven't had one but most commen in men who have. I found this website that has been really useful getting to know what's involved with the guy side of things The link is to the page about sperm antibodies. Have a read and then let DH know

    http://www.andrologyaustralia.org/pa...e=WHATISCANCER

    Good to know also that it is either treatable or you can still get pregnant using IVF.

  9. #29
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    Thanks Auntyof5 i read that article and it was a great help, i cant believe that there is so much to learn about IVF..

    Havent heard from anyone for a little while, how are all you gold coast ladies going???



    Me 36 DP 40 and

  10. #30
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    Hi Neen IVF sure is complicated, I'm only just beginning to understand whats involved! I guess by the end we will be experts though!!

    Hope all you other GC girls are doing ok too! Anyone got any news?

    I just took the weekend off thinking about TTC and it was great! Went for dinner with a girlfriend, went to the beach, took the dog to the park for a swim with DH, threw a few cocktails into the mix and today I feel so much happier! I think we all need to take some out regularly so we don't all go crazy with TTC. Hope everyone can do a bit of the same! Even if you can't do the cocktails.


 

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