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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by AgnesRonald&Beryl'sMum View Post
    LOL...

    Me too..

    I remember a few years back, finding myself on another forum and reading that people saw me as massively passive aggressive.
    I was in shock...I mean I probably was but I didnt mean to be so awful. It had been a learned behaviour, or survival method.

    I know I was pretty passive as well , but for years I had no voice, all of a sudden i have one and no bloody idea how to use it! lol.

    I think I am getting better. no where near assertive but not nearly as passive/passive aggressive.

    I am so overly self centered and sensitive though and can manage to make anything about me..its a skill and am trying to work out how to use it for good!

    but I am proud of how far I have come. I am a work in progress and starting to work out how to use my voice...


    (lets hope its for good and not evil..bwahahahahaah)
    Absolutely! That's growth and your journey - I hope that doesn't sound condescending. We are all works in progress. I like the notion of working out how to use ones voice, that really resonates with me.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by TabouliRasta View Post
    I reckon you probably have, ( as have I..in freakin' spades!) but I also think that you have been true to who you are, and that you are kind and thoughtful, and a critical thinker.
    Aww thanks you know I think the same of you

  3. #33
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    I try to be assertive.

    I do think if I'm in a confronting situation I'm either passive or passive aggressive.

    But if someone is being aggressive to me I'm likely to be passive and cower. If someone is being passive-aggressive and I'm not able to take it, I'd respond in kind.

    Though I do think generally I am assertive.

    I guess the only thing I know for sure is I'm not aggressive.

  4. #34
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    Depends on how I feel about myself really. Generally I try to be assertive...agressive when I feel defensive and passive aggressive when I am down on myself.

  5. #35
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    I perceive myself as mostly assertive, sometimes passive and occasionally aggressive. Same in real life.

  6. #36
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    I find that I am floating and hovering over passive agressive and assertive.

    Depending on the mood and contexts of the situation.

    Ive been told im not well liked cause im too assertive and always say my piece but thats who I am.

    To be honest there are more people that hover over the two then there are in the individual categories. Interpersonal and cognitive behaviour change various times over a period of a lifetime. When I was younger I was really passive as I have dealt and went through life after so many battles I learnt that the only way I can get through life is to be assertive although I still vary between the 2 depending of mood and situations.

    Sent from my GT-P1000 using Bubhub

  7. #37
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    screwed if i'm reading all that this late at night!

    i try to be assertive but in front of people like doctors i get a bit passive but at work and occasionally just generally if i'm not careful i get a bit aggressive. generally speaking i'm somewhere between passive and assertive though.
    Last edited by Leeee; 14-02-2011 at 00:54.

  8. #38
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    I aim to be assertive,but English isnt my primary language (not the first one I learnt, nor the one we speak at home) and a great deal of the assertive traits are considered aggressive in other cultures.
    I do my best, by DO come across aggressive in Australia/English, purely due to the cultural differences.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by trishalishous View Post
    I aim to be assertive,but English isnt my primary language (not the first one I learnt, nor the one we speak at home) and a great deal of the assertive traits are considered aggressive in other cultures.
    I do my best, by DO come across aggressive in Australia/English, purely due to the cultural differences.
    May I asak what language you speak at home? Purely curious/

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teley View Post
    May I asak what language you speak at home? Purely curious/
    We speak pidgin Malay/Hokkien/Cantonese/English.

    I grew up speaking Dialect German (not high German, but I can understand and read it still)

    DD says 6 words, 3 English (b00bie, mama, dada) , 1 Cantonese (mai - dont want), 1 Malay (sayang- precious/darling/kisses)
    And oddly 1 Spanish (bwhey - dude/curse word picked up from my little sister)

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to trishalishous For This Useful Post:

    Teley  (14-02-2011)


 
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