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  1. #61
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    idiots. Makes you wonder if the other ones are better mums if they apparently wouldn't hesitate to choose someone else's child over their own?! It is a damn pity I missed that thread, I would have punched them all!!

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    Ulysses  (26-02-2011)

  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by TurnedBatty View Post
    Wicket I remember that thread well. I hope you also remember the many people who stood upfor you (myself included) That was a bad thread. Almost in line with yours faroutbrusselsprout
    Yikes! Don't remind me! It was bluddy awful. I'm so glad there is so many of you now that totally understand. It makes a huge difference. ((()))

    Another rule (wicket reminded me if this one!)
    You always have to play hypotheticals with ANYONE that's willing to comment on your situation such as
    a) what about if dh didn't love YOUR son?
    b) what about if bm died? And then SS had to live with you?
    c) would you still keep in contact with SS if DH died?
    Etc etc etc etc etc
    Note - do not answer them honestly! You must construct your answer to please all others around you.

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  5. #63
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    pfff... I never expected dh to love my son, tbh I don't even know if he does, doesn't matter either. But everyone naturally expected me to love ss. Just not happening.
    If bm was dead it would be tragic in many ways...
    If dh was dead I would most def not have any contact with ss. I only have the contact because of dh.
    Oh sorry, these were the honest ones. Hahaha

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    Ulysses  (26-02-2011)

  7. #64
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    I wonder why just because we become step parents we're expected to do the most unnatural thing on the planet and put someone else before our babies?

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    angenrod  (16-07-2012),Ulysses  (26-02-2011)

  9. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Yikes! Don't remind me! It was bluddy awful. I'm so glad there is so many of you now that totally understand. It makes a huge difference. ((()))

    Another rule (wicket reminded me if this one!)
    You always have to play hypotheticals with ANYONE that's willing to comment on your situation such as
    a) what about if dh didn't love YOUR son?
    b) what about if bm died? And then SS had to live with you?
    c) would you still keep in contact with SS if DH died?
    Etc etc etc etc etc
    Note - do not answer them honestly! You must construct your answer to please all others around you.

    Im not a SM, i have no reason to be in this section apart from it came up and i read it

    But why on earth would people ask such horrid and negative questions? Would you still contact SS if DH died? What kind of a question is that? im sure its exactly what every step mum sit up at night pondering

    You ladies are awesome!

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    brydz  (05-03-2012),TurnedBatty  (26-02-2011)

  11. #66
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    Thanks, confusd

    Rule $%&*: The BM has the right to inspect her child's living quarters at Dad's & SM's. (Dad is, of course, not extended the same right.)

    Rule &#^: BM also has the right to dictate, on a 3-week OS trip to see SM's family, which of SM's relatives are fit to babysit s-kid for an hour or two occasionally (which would be NONE of them according to BM). Dad is not capable of exercising his own judgement in such cases.

    (My SS' mum tried both of these things when negotiating our court agreement. We respectfully refused.)

    Half-time stepmum here - week on/week off.

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    Ulysses  (26-02-2011)

  13. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimInMellie View Post
    Thanks, confusd

    Rule $%&*: The BM has the right to inspect her child's living quarters at Dad's & SM's. (Dad is, of course, not extended the same right.)
    So true, when DH and I first moved into together we talked to the bm about overnite visits....well, excuse me! DH got the whole - "I don't even know her (me) how can I let my kids stay there?" DH just turned around and said "what about when u go and stay at ur bf's house with them or when they sleep over at friends houses?" duh, bloody frustrating!!!!

  14. #68
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Rule# bm is allowed to comment on how she feels we should deal with certain situations such as letting dsd go to social events with friends instead of our weekend visit however we do not have the same right in return, how dare we think we can comment on how she deals with certain situations after all she is the mum & we are not her full time family.

    Had bm drop off dsd last night (she was meant to be with us) as she took dsd with her to her friends house who also has a daughter then proceeded to tell dh in a condescending tone (with no provocation) when she dropped her off that we NEED to realize dsd wants to see her friends & we should just accept that & let her instead of getting upset that it cuts into our time (dsd must have told her dh was upset w her on the phone when she asked if she could go with her mum, with her mum in the background coaxing her) I had to hold myself back as we let her go to social stuff with friends 90% of the time she asks even when bm organizes social stuff for her during our weekends, & the fact that we only see her on the weekends. For once Dh stood up to her & told her she had no right to say that when her situation is totally different. So now we are proposing increasing our access to have more weeknights to accommodate for all the missed time on weekends. I could hear her making comments to dh about how that means I will have to drive her around etc....derrrrrrrrrr....but I hate people who make comments about you when they know you are in ear shot.
    Last edited by Ulysses; 26-02-2011 at 17:44.

  15. #69
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    Thank you all so much for a laugh- I am a 40/60 step mum to two kids and I sat nodding my head at so many of the rules

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    TurnedBatty  (26-02-2011)

  17. #70
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    I am so glad I started this thread and dont feel bad anymore, especially if it makes people laugh


 

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