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  1. #51
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    This thread has made me so happy, I thought I was the only one.

    And don't forget when the stepkids are over don't even think about organizing anything for yourself. Hubby might decide he needs a night out, you'll have to babysit.

    Infact to all you are the unpaid, unasked babysitter. When BM rings at the last minute saying she can't have the kids back today and Hubby has to start work in an hour, you are expected to step in. Or when shared care arrangements are changed, without your involvement to include you having the sc every Friday night when your partner works, you are expected to end your life and babysit without a word.

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  3. #52
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    If your step child is sick and you suggest they shouldn't come. You are being totally unreasonable and selfish. It has nothing to do with the fact that you have a 5 week old baby who already has a cold and two other small children who may get sick.

    If you feel uncomfortable with the fact that BM still contacts DH's extended family it's YOU with the issues. There is no reason on earth why this should make you feel funny around them.

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  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    If your step child is sick and you suggest they shouldn't come. You are being totally unreasonable and selfish. It has nothing to do with the fact that you have a 5 week old baby who already has a cold and two other small children who may get sick.

    If you feel uncomfortable with the fact that BM still contacts DH's extended family it's YOU with the issues. There is no reason on earth why this should make you feel funny around them.

    AGREED!
    Everyone should still blow sugar into BM's *** for the sake of ss! We don't want her to get mad and disappear the remaining 9% out of his life, do we?!

    And if your skid is sick, well the baby has to take one for the team! You don't want your baby to catch it?? You are AGAIN prefering your kids to your skid!!!

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  7. #54
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    ooh yes those ones are so annoying - forget that you can easily rearrange weekends (the one advantage of not having custody) oh no, your vulnerable new baby will have to risk getting seriously ill even though the BM changes weekends for social reasons & convenience factor for her. But the health of your child is absoloutley no reason to move things around even if it is an option.

    And most annoying is when people say, "but what would you do if they lived with you" the answer in short "they dont live with me so i do have the option so who cares what i would do if they did live with m, let's deal with reality".

    I had this issue when dsd had whooping cough & i had a 10 week old baby - not happy jan.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wicket View Post
    ooh yes those ones are so annoying - forget that you can easily rearrange weekends (the one advantage of not having custody) oh no, your vulnerable new baby will have to risk getting seriously ill even though the BM changes weekends for social reasons & convenience factor for her. But the health of your child is absoloutley no reason to move things around even if it is an option.

    And most annoying is when people say, "but what would you do if they lived with you" the answer in short "they dont live with me so i do have the option so who cares what i would do if they did live with m, let's deal with reality".

    I had this issue when dsd had whooping cough & i had a 10 week old baby - not happy jan.
    Holy gucamole! Are you freakin' serious? Whooping cough is not something to take a risk with! Man oh man that would have been petrifying.

  9. #56
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    yep & you woudnt believe the nasty comments i copped from alot of bubhub memebers saying i didnt love my dsd & that i was choosing my own child over her feelings because i was stopping her seeing him etc while she was still sick. I asked my doctors advice & she said if you have the ability to keep her away then keep her away which is what i did.

    I actually contemplated never coming back on this forum after that - it showed me how badly people really feel about step parents, we are definitely demonised alot of the time. There were plenty of people who said i should leave the house for the weekend so dsd could still come over.

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    Oh wicket that's terrible u copped abuse from others on here! Until people really understand what it is like to b a step parent they have no right to make us feel bad about decision we make, especially regarding our own kids (which is what I'm goin to have to get use to very soon)
    Thinking of u

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  12. #58
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    Wicket I remember that thread well. I hope you also remember the many people who stood upfor you (myself included) That was a bad thread. Almost in line with yours faroutbrusselsprout

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  14. #59
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TurnedBatty View Post
    Wicket I remember that thread well. I hope you also remember the many people who stood upfor you (myself included) That was a bad thread. Almost in line with yours faroutbrusselsprout
    yep i definitely do turnedbatty (& others), it meant so much to me - i meant to mention that - we had an incident with the BM while i was writing my posts funnily enough so i was a bit distracted. I will always be grateful to those that backed me up you all made a huge difference to how i felt at the time & it really meant alot. The PM messages & responses that stood up for me made me feel so much better & some really great women like you & others on this thread that stood up for me & i'll never forget that. I did leave bubhub for a little while after that but then i returned as i didnt want it to get the better of me - but i was shocked at how many nasty opinions there were out there about stepmums it actually broke my heart at the time.

    Thanks all you ladies who remember that thread & backed me up & those who have sympathised for me going through it at the time - gee, i wish this thread was around then i think i would have pretty much only ever posted in here.

    Rule number xyz - never post a step mum question in the general area of a forum unless you are prepared for a sledging.

    you are all great

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wicket View Post
    yep i definitely do turnedbatty (& others), it meant so much to me - i meant to mention that - we had an incident with the BM while i was writing my posts funnily enough so i was a bit distracted. I will always be grateful to those that backed me up you all made a huge difference to how i felt at the time & it really meant alot. The PM messages & responses that stood up for me made me feel so much better & some really great women like you & others on this thread that stood up for me & i'll never forget that. I did leave bubhub for a little while after that but then i returned as i didnt want it to get the better of me - but i was shocked at how many nasty opinions there were out there about stepmums it actually broke my heart at the time.

    Thanks all you ladies who remember that thread & backed me up & those who have sympathised for me going through it at the time - gee, i wish this thread was around then i think i would have pretty much only ever posted in here.

    Rule number xyz - never post a step mum question in the general area of a forum unless you are prepared for a sledging.

    you are all great
    I read it back, sounded a bit "Oi, I stood up for you!!!" lol. I meant that you shouldnt leave as yes, there are the bad seeds but there are us other stepmums who get it. And the even rarer non stepmum, just plain old regular bubhubber who also gets it. I am glad you are still on the hub.

    rule zyx- Don't forget that there IS someone else like you. You just have to know where to look!

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