Rule Number something something something: Dont seek medical help for the stepkid/s without Bm. Dont seek legal advice without Bm. Dont even ring and seek advice from a child psychologist without BM. After all, you wanted this shared parenting right? Please Note:This does NOT work in reverse, Bm reserves the right to tell your DH about any medical issues, doctors visits, counselling calls etc weeks maybe even months after it happened.
Rule blah blah: Yes, step-parents have a say in the childs upbringing. BM will tell everyone with pride that their child has four parents. Unless of course you happen to say something she doesnt agree with, then that number is reduced to three. Two if DH also disagrees......
As a half-time stepmum to a 10yo boy, I've been reading this thread with interest and many emphatic nods of agreement. TurnedBatty, I was wondering when the medical thing would come up. Whenever I've used my own judgement to give SS medicine and word has gotten back to BM, DH has been subjected to an interrogation. Never mind that I have a background in health care ... I'm obviously going to poison her son. And oh lord, when I recommended a chiropractor who specialises in children to help sort SS' chronic back pain, boy did that go over well. Even though after two treatments SS happily related that he was feeling much better.
It's a thankless job ... thankfully, things have gotten much better as time has passed. Unfortunately, sometimes you catch grief no matter what you do.
Medical can be a big issue. Our latest one was DH getting blasted for calling and seeking advice in order to make the changeovers easier. Bm blew her top because they are supposed to be doing everything together, yet not one phone call that ss was in hospital. Darn shame.
Oh ladies.... this has made such a difference to my day!!!! I was really stuggling the last few days.... but to know all of you know EXCTLY what it is like.... ah.... such a relief.
And its all been very funny too!!!!
Thanks so much for this thread
hey nuttamum, full timer here too!
I'm I shared care mum here. She is week on week off.
My son is 50/50 with his dad, my step son is here sun-fri every second week.
rule blah blah blah- You can have have the kids extra hours when it suits BM (such as needing to go shopping, she has other things to do) but dont bother asking to pick them up an hour early for a family function. Dont forget she has already been generous enough to you both in allowing her children to visit.
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