Yea wicket, looks like we've had pretty similar scenarios, although I'm pretty sure ur'se wld have had me kicking some serious butt lol You're great to overcome that, good on ya girl
27. Do not by any means plan a holiday with your husband/partner. Even if you only get to see your step child for a few hours once a week. It is far to inconvenient if you have to tell the BM that you can't have the child on your day (even if you give a months notice). Oh and if you do have to go on a holiday, know that it's because BM gave you 'permission'.
28. The above rule will be used against you. BM gave you 'permission' to go on a 'holiday' (even though you went away because someone in your immediate family that lives interstate passed away). And therefore, when she wants to go on a four week vacation and take said step-child, she is allowed to because she 'let' you go to see your family.
29. If your step child hits you, kicks your or anything of the sort, that is ok. They didnt mean it. And if you tell them off for it and they cry, your partner will undermine you and cuddle them and tell them its okay.
30. If your step child does not acknowledge you for the first 3 hours of the total 5 hours you spend with them a week and you are upset by it, you are being silly. And if you reatliate and decide to not pay attention to them for a little while you are just being ridiculous.
31. Just remember court orders are just a guide, just don't make any comments if the other parent doesn't follow them. But if you break them all hell will break loose.
32. The children's other family have everyright to call you any sort of word they feel like it. You destroyed their family.
33. never hesitate when people ask how many children you have, even though you only see your step child once every fortnight you must always refer to them as your child as soon as you are asked, any hesitation proves you do not love them & wish they did not exist.
34. never comment on how hard you have it, the bm has it much harder than you & the poor children have gone through enough, neither of them need to hear how you are struggling. Refer to earlier rules; you knew what you were getting into when you met him; & the children have suffered too much & we need to compensate (overcompensate)
35. do not discuss your feelings with your partner when you are feeling resentment about the current situation, this will only prove you do not care for his children & are not suited to being a stepmum - it has nothing to do with the fact that everyone has bad days & needs to talk about them, you must remember issues you have with his children are off limits unless he initiates the conversation.
36. always except that when your husband/partner feels guilty about not seeing his child as much as he would like your step child will be given extra gifts, outings & concessions regarding their behaviour.
37. be prepared to change your entire life for those days your step child is with you i.e (a) change what you cook to suit them - why should they learn to eat the foods you like (b) except that you will not be able to watch tv as they will spend most of their day playing xbox or wii (c) be happy about the fact that you will not be able to spend time with your partner as much on these days, he needs to focus on the child & you should be fully accepting of this & never have any negative feelings about it even though you lead a completely different life with him for the remaining 85% of the time.
Last edited by Ulysses; 09-02-2011 at 13:42.
Oh yeah wicket, those are good. Especially the last one.
38. Be prepared to always be painted as 'evil', and probably a home wreckerr, even if in actual fact you had nothing to do with their breakup. In fact, you should probably never mention you are a stepmum for fear that all of a sudden, people will see you as a huge cow.
39. Bm is always always always right and you never are. Mother knows best, right?
40. Your life now revolves around nothing more then being a stepmum. Legal issues, child support drama, pick-ups, drop offs.....it wont stop
41. Always pretend you are happy. Never ever show that you may actually be upset about anything in your step-family situation, whether that be the BM or the stepkids or the financial struggles. You will never ever ever ever ever have the same right to whinge as any bm.
42. Worship the ground BM walks on. If you dont, you are a lower member of society.
*sigh* Is it weird that I am a bm and a sm, yet I can relate more to these rules? I was blessed with an awesome SM, but I also would understand if she whinged about me (I would ) or about my ds. Nobody is happy 24/7 about life. I just find it a little sad this thread has already been talked about in a not so nice way, because god forbid we should ever actually need to blow off steam and vent. When I read rules in other areas, I often think that it cant be that bad and what a bunch of whingers, but I also understand that I cant possibly understand what they are going through, or that they are just venting and dont think like this 24/7. Think I might see about moving this into our private area. Sad that everyone else can have their rules and not be made to feel bad about what they wrote, and we still cant be given even that. And people wonder why we are bitter?
Don't even think about answering your own home phone without copping an Earful of abuse ... after all she wasn't calling to speak to you so why did you answer the phone and if SD happens to be busy when she calls (in shower or toilet) Well then your the biggest liar going and you and DH are just trying to stop her from speaking to her child.
Ha ha the best one for my house...
Don't ever join the same Video store as BM because she will freak out and tell the kids that your only using that store to put movies on her account
I tooooootally agree about moving this to the private area if we can, after yesterday i felt terrible, like someone had sort of invaded our one area where we can be honest about all this stuff - i never see anything on the single parents thread from step mums we are like leopars until now i only ever thought there was one or two of us on here.
We were all lurking in the shadows, DUH duh DUUHHHH DUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Oh these have made me laugh and feel so much better about my role in this family. I thought there was soemthing wrong with me
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