Rules for Step-mums | Page 3 | Bub Hub
+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 18 FirstFirst 1234513 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 176
  1. #21
    Ulysses's Avatar
    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,501
    Thanks
    1,455
    Thanked
    609
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by poppyseed View Post
    26. Continue to be nice to the ex even though she has treated you like a lower class citizen for years and refused to acknowledge you exist, Quote "I'm not discussing it with her here, we're the parents!"

    My DH wanted to have a serious chat to his ex about her making things difficult and she turned around and told him she still loved him, I loved his response "what we had is way over, and this talk is not what this is abouNt!" she had the hide to say this whilst I was standing 10mtrs away whilst occuping her children hahahaha!!!! Oh he made sure he told me when we were driving away because I'm not sure what I wld've said because I was fuming!!!
    Oh poppyseed I know exactly how you feel, at least your dh reacted well.

    Theses rules are great, so many I can relate to.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    800
    Thanks
    31
    Thanked
    118
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Yea wicket, looks like we've had pretty similar scenarios, although I'm pretty sure ur'se wld have had me kicking some serious butt lol You're great to overcome that, good on ya girl

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to poppyseed For This Useful Post:

    Ulysses  (09-02-2011)

  4. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    188
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0
    27. Do not by any means plan a holiday with your husband/partner. Even if you only get to see your step child for a few hours once a week. It is far to inconvenient if you have to tell the BM that you can't have the child on your day (even if you give a months notice). Oh and if you do have to go on a holiday, know that it's because BM gave you 'permission'.

    28. The above rule will be used against you. BM gave you 'permission' to go on a 'holiday' (even though you went away because someone in your immediate family that lives interstate passed away). And therefore, when she wants to go on a four week vacation and take said step-child, she is allowed to because she 'let' you go to see your family.

    29. If your step child hits you, kicks your or anything of the sort, that is ok. They didnt mean it. And if you tell them off for it and they cry, your partner will undermine you and cuddle them and tell them its okay.

    30. If your step child does not acknowledge you for the first 3 hours of the total 5 hours you spend with them a week and you are upset by it, you are being silly. And if you reatliate and decide to not pay attention to them for a little while you are just being ridiculous.

  5. #24
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    203
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0
    31. Just remember court orders are just a guide, just don't make any comments if the other parent doesn't follow them. But if you break them all hell will break loose.

    32. The children's other family have everyright to call you any sort of word they feel like it. You destroyed their family.

  6. #25
    Ulysses's Avatar
    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,501
    Thanks
    1,455
    Thanked
    609
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    33. never hesitate when people ask how many children you have, even though you only see your step child once every fortnight you must always refer to them as your child as soon as you are asked, any hesitation proves you do not love them & wish they did not exist.

    34. never comment on how hard you have it, the bm has it much harder than you & the poor children have gone through enough, neither of them need to hear how you are struggling. Refer to earlier rules; you knew what you were getting into when you met him; & the children have suffered too much & we need to compensate (overcompensate)

    35. do not discuss your feelings with your partner when you are feeling resentment about the current situation, this will only prove you do not care for his children & are not suited to being a stepmum - it has nothing to do with the fact that everyone has bad days & needs to talk about them, you must remember issues you have with his children are off limits unless he initiates the conversation.

    36. always except that when your husband/partner feels guilty about not seeing his child as much as he would like your step child will be given extra gifts, outings & concessions regarding their behaviour.

    37. be prepared to change your entire life for those days your step child is with you i.e (a) change what you cook to suit them - why should they learn to eat the foods you like (b) except that you will not be able to watch tv as they will spend most of their day playing xbox or wii (c) be happy about the fact that you will not be able to spend time with your partner as much on these days, he needs to focus on the child & you should be fully accepting of this & never have any negative feelings about it even though you lead a completely different life with him for the remaining 85% of the time.
    Last edited by Ulysses; 09-02-2011 at 13:42.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ulysses For This Useful Post:

    Koop09  (29-07-2012),Ms Kez  (10-05-2012)

  8. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    3,909
    Thanks
    316
    Thanked
    301
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Oh yeah wicket, those are good. Especially the last one.

    38. Be prepared to always be painted as 'evil', and probably a home wreckerr, even if in actual fact you had nothing to do with their breakup. In fact, you should probably never mention you are a stepmum for fear that all of a sudden, people will see you as a huge cow.

    39. Bm is always always always right and you never are. Mother knows best, right?

    40. Your life now revolves around nothing more then being a stepmum. Legal issues, child support drama, pick-ups, drop offs.....it wont stop

    41. Always pretend you are happy. Never ever show that you may actually be upset about anything in your step-family situation, whether that be the BM or the stepkids or the financial struggles. You will never ever ever ever ever have the same right to whinge as any bm.

    42. Worship the ground BM walks on. If you dont, you are a lower member of society.

    *sigh* Is it weird that I am a bm and a sm, yet I can relate more to these rules? I was blessed with an awesome SM, but I also would understand if she whinged about me (I would ) or about my ds. Nobody is happy 24/7 about life. I just find it a little sad this thread has already been talked about in a not so nice way, because god forbid we should ever actually need to blow off steam and vent. When I read rules in other areas, I often think that it cant be that bad and what a bunch of whingers, but I also understand that I cant possibly understand what they are going through, or that they are just venting and dont think like this 24/7. Think I might see about moving this into our private area. Sad that everyone else can have their rules and not be made to feel bad about what they wrote, and we still cant be given even that. And people wonder why we are bitter?

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TurnedBatty For This Useful Post:

    nuttamum  (15-02-2011),Ulysses  (09-02-2011)

  10. #27
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Perth W.A
    Posts
    565
    Thanks
    399
    Thanked
    129
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Don't even think about answering your own home phone without copping an Earful of abuse ... after all she wasn't calling to speak to you so why did you answer the phone and if SD happens to be busy when she calls (in shower or toilet) Well then your the biggest liar going and you and DH are just trying to stop her from speaking to her child.

    Ha ha the best one for my house...

    Don't ever join the same Video store as BM because she will freak out and tell the kids that your only using that store to put movies on her account

  11. #28
    Ulysses's Avatar
    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,501
    Thanks
    1,455
    Thanked
    609
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by TurnedBatty View Post
    Oh yeah wicket, those are good. Especially the last one.

    38. Be prepared to always be painted as 'evil', and probably a home wreckerr, even if in actual fact you had nothing to do with their breakup. In fact, you should probably never mention you are a stepmum for fear that all of a sudden, people will see you as a huge cow.
    r?
    love this one, laughing my head off.

    I tooooootally agree about moving this to the private area if we can, after yesterday i felt terrible, like someone had sort of invaded our one area where we can be honest about all this stuff - i never see anything on the single parents thread from step mums we are like leopars until now i only ever thought there was one or two of us on here.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Ulysses For This Useful Post:

    TurnedBatty  (10-02-2011)

  13. #29
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Lockwood South
    Posts
    1,878
    Thanks
    780
    Thanked
    181
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We were all lurking in the shadows, DUH duh DUUHHHH DUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to HowCrazyCool For This Useful Post:

    TurnedBatty  (10-02-2011),Ulysses  (11-02-2011)

  15. #30
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    1,863
    Thanks
    606
    Thanked
    724
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Oh these have made me laugh and feel so much better about my role in this family. I thought there was soemthing wrong with me

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Lemmings For This Useful Post:

    TurnedBatty  (10-02-2011)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Rules for Working Mums
    By WorkingClassMum in forum Working Hubbers - Employed
    Replies: 96
    Last Post: 19-01-2015, 12:17
  2. The Rules for Single Mums
    By Mummy2R&K in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 96
    Last Post: 05-11-2014, 14:10
  3. Step mums need your reassurance
    By Izy in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 03-09-2012, 09:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Free weekly newsletters | Sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
JUMP! Swim Schools
Give your child a swimming kickstart!. JUMP! Swimming teachers are trained and certified using world-class techniques and best practice.
Book your free trial today
featured supporter
Shapland Swim Schools
Semi private learn to swim classes for a maximum of 3 children in specialized heated teaching pools. Our swim schools are located across Brisbane, Ipswich and the Sunshine Coast, ensuring there's a school near you.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!