My mum is being distant and I don't know why.

[peanutbrittle]

Hope I can get some advice or even some clarity on my situation by people a little more experienced than I.

During my pregnancy my mum was so excited about being a nan and gave the impression she would be just about living with us and that I would need to beat her off with a stick. But since having bubs, we have barely seen her. She is very busy with work and my brother and sisters but it's starting to really hurt that she doesn't want to make the time to see me or bubs. Especially when I find out she just spent over 2 hours with my cousin and her children on a day she said she was too busy to see us.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to force bubs onto her, or to confront her about this, I just want her to want to see us!
Any ideas?

[MamaKoala]

Have you offered to go to her? My mother was very busy when I had my boys but we tried to organise things on the weekend. Could you include all your family in a BBQ or something?

[scout02]

Maybe she wants to give your family time all together for a while without intruding.........

[jennibear]

Maybe she wants to give your family time all together for a while without intruding.........

My mum was sort of the same...SUPER excited when i was pregnant, then not so much when DD was born. I think she didnt want to impose! Even though i wanted to see her all the time, she thought i was 'just saying that'.

She probably thinks shes doing the right thing, leaving you and your family to yourselves! Dont stress out!

[Uh-Oh]

I know that my Mum was so wary about overstepping the mark that she really waited for me to approach her. There is a very fine line between being there for your daughter and new grandchild (and soninlaw) and being overbearing... my mum didnt want to put me or DH out but secretly she was bursting to help! I had mum down for three weeks when DS was born and I couldnt of done it without her, but then she really let me DH & I find out own feet too.

I suggest you approach your Mum, organise a time, ask for advice if you need it that way she will know she is welcome.

(there are so many forums bishing about Mum and MILs being TOO much that I guess our mums just dont want to be another bished about parent!)

[peanutbrittle]

Thanks ladies, I'm sure you are right, I think I'm just hurting because she spent more time with my cousin than she has with me lately (jealous much...) and I really want my boy to have a close relationship with his nan like I do with mine. He cries when he goes to her, and then she just gets upset that 'he doesn't like her' and passes him back, and I feel like saying it's not that he doesn't like you, he doesn't know you! I've tried going to her house, and she just gets stressed at the mess, she enjoys seeing him but then we don't see her again for a week or two... I'm at a loss. I know I need to talk to her about it but I don't want to make her feel bad.