Bottle independence

**heeeeerekittykitty** · 07-02-2011 08:31

I'm actually abit embarassed to ask this question for fear of reactions like those I got yesterday from MIL and extended family :-( same sh*t different day regarding their constant opinions and reactions to my ds and my parenting , I could go on all day about the rubbish I heard yesterday .

Does anyones 12month old still not hold their own bottle ? What about older than 12 months and still not holding it themselves ?

Ds doesn't . Goes and retrieves he's sippy cup all day long and drinks out of it on he's own . Drinks out of a cup on he's own . Out of a straw . But bottles, no.

2 Main reasons I think are a) he has long narrow nuk bottles , he can hold them but it's awkward. Their not as compact as the short fatter ones, and b ) I've never tried to " train" him to do it . I'm a believer in when he's ready he'll do it , and besides , when he does hold it all he does is play with it, squirt milk in hes eye , and drench himself with milk .

Someone on my behalf ( innocently ) decided to tell a whole baby shower crowd I'm still feeding a one yr old at night . Of course it was pure ridicule but when they discovered I actually have to - lift ds out the cot . Bring him to the couch . Feed him. Back in the cot . My goodness . To them it was laughable ???? It would have been more accepted had I said that I prop the
bottle under he's chin in the cot. Which is
what they suggested . Yeah , because the wriggle bum is really gonna sit still like a robot and not move and end up with a milk bed .

I think he'll be feeding at night for a
long time yet . Which means I'll be doing
this for a long time yet .

I feel like a moron . I feel like my son is behind in some major thing he SHOULD be doing .

Wow , what a ramble all over a bottle ( slinks away embarassed :-( .... Anyone ?

Ps - on a bright note , my every 2-3 hr waker since birth has for the last five nights gone to bed as usual at 7 , then woke again at 10pm and 2am for a feed , then up at 6. For him, this is AMAZING . Even if it doesnt last , I'm so proud of him that he's done a few longer stretches :-) as for me, I class this as one wake up only yay!!( 10:30 don't count in my book, I'm up anyway )

Anyway, bit*h and whine over sorry :-(

**Nomsie** · 07-02-2011 08:35

Ah... at 12 months I still fed my boys at night.. it was breastfeeding, so I had to get them out, feed them and put them back in.. it's a lot more personal and attached- they're getting human comfort as well as food in their bellies- isn't that what babies need?

There is so much detachment happening with parenting these days it's scary!

If you are still happy to hold your bub's bottle, then why should anyone else care?

Gah! People!!

**Lemonhead** · 07-02-2011 08:41

My DS didn't hold his bottle until after he was 1 and started daycare 1 day a week

**OurLittleBlessing** · 07-02-2011 08:41

Totally agree. What on earth is wrong with what you are doing?

You sound like a loving, caring, attentive Mum to me. I think your son is lucky.

**OurLittleBlessing** · 07-02-2011 08:44

Oh, and my almost 13 month old still has the odd night feed too (BF).... it's really not as uncommon as people would have you believe....

**TripleTime** · 07-02-2011 08:55

I was still holding bottles at 12 months & still do at 21 months if someone is super tired & just wants cuddles. Still doing night feeds at 16 months, fed them in their own beds while we held the bottle. Other wise they'd think it was play time.

**pumpkinears** · 07-02-2011 09:06

Don't feel embarrassed, my 2 and half year old DS still doesn't hold his own bottle. He has a snuggly blanket that he likes to wrap round his fingers while having his milk... I love that special time between us!

**chickpea** · 07-02-2011 09:29

i was under the impression that feeding milk was not just about nutrition? its about bonding and having a cuddle, time to reconnect during the day (and night).

would anyone mock and laugh if someone was still bfing over 12 months (they probably would but thats another story) if you are bfing you have to hold your baby close, you cant detach your boob and hand it to them, why should bottle feeding be any different?

a friend and i who is a midwife had this conversation once, and she said for her the main issue with bottle feeding is some people try as quick as they can to get their baby to feed themselves (or prop feed) thus missing out on those cuddle and bonding opportunities

yeah he probably could hold the bottle himself if he wanted, but whats so bad about him wanting and needing that few minutes to be close to you?

why are some people in such a rush to detach themselves from their babies?

**Moxy** · 07-02-2011 09:29

I don't *want* DS to hold his bottle. When he does, I take it back. It's only a short time in his life that I'm going to get bonding moments like that so I cherish every feed.

Research now shows that giving a baby a bottle in bed on their own is linked to tooth decay in babies.

And it's so detached. Makes me think of Romanian orphan babies

**AndrewTheEmu** · 07-02-2011 09:38

Dont be embaressed

shame on those girls for making fun of you!

My DD is only 8 months but i dont believe she will ever hold her own bottle, mainly because like you, i have always done it for her. Day and night she gets a snuggle in my arms turned inwards facing my breast and i hold it for her. She has never so much as put a hand on her bottle. shes usually stroaking my breast or face

which i absolutlyu love. Ive never proped her bottle up for her either. But she too will retrieve her own sippy cap of water and drink from that. So i know its not a hand/eye co-ordination thing or anything to do with her development, it just because a snuggle bottle with mum is SOOOO much better and SOOOO much less effort then lying in your cot doing it yourself.