Anyone else suffer with Thanatophobia?

[sweetums89]

Well as the thread title says, i have Thanatophobia (fear of dying). I have had this for aslong as i can remember, im the only person I know that has this so I have no one else to talk to, relate to, or get support from. Growing up i always had panic attacks, not overly bad ones but bad enough that it was noticable from on lookers. Getting older, it started to get worse. But then I had my 2nd child DD, and things went from ok, to panic attack central. Now apparently this phobia is many things, like certain things about death, with me, its Im scared about myself dying, and its not that freaking out about dying at this instant, its when im like 80years old and its meant to be, but I cant accept it, I dont want to go, its not that I want to live forever, i want to be able to kiss and hug my children and DP forever , knowing that I will go into a nothingness, and never seeing anyone FREAKS me out hardcore. I get so bad, i cry, scream, i cant breathe and just wish this feeling would go away. So im hoping there is someone else out there who is going threw this and can help support me and tell me how you cope with it. Cause Im so scared its going to get worse and worse as my children grow up, and I dont want to be put in mental ward and for my children to not grow up without a mother. Thank you for reading.

[mimsie]

I had the biggest panic attack on my 28th birthday about this.

I don't have religious beliefs so my fear is the ceasing to exist part. I cannot get my head around that concept and if I try to explore it, panic attack here I come. I just cannot comprehend the idea of not being here - not me as a person but me as my mind - my conscious thought, if that makes sense.

Is that what you mean?

I also have issues with giving up consciousness in general - I can't be hypnotised, I have bad insomnia and don't 'know' how to just go to sleep (takes hours until I'm exhausted enough to go to sleep anyway) - although not from fear, I just can't 'let go'.

[Emsmum85]

I could have written that myself!!!! Most nights I lay awake in bed and hyperventilate about it, you can't just turn your brain off with thinking about it, so you try and distract yourself but then it comes back to it!

Mimsie that's exactly me, and the fact that whatever happens it's forever. My partner said you just can fathom the possibility of existance without your reality. It's really scary and I thought I would have grown out of it and gained acceptance but I haven't and I really don't want to live my life with this constant fear hanging over me.

[RunningWithScissors]

Oh wow... I also could have written it myself!

I've had the fear as long as I can remember, I'm most scared of the blackness, the nothingness..and not knowing what happens, does it hurt? People say no, but how can they know? They aren't dead! I know its happening and I hate it, theres nothing I can do to change the fact, I fear every birthday as it means Im getting closer and closer to being "old" and dying. Of course I wonder if I'll get cancer or have a heart attack, liver failure etc..
I stress about it, I can't breathe, or sleep, I cry, shake and scream to get the thoughts out of my head. I absolutely CAN NOT go to bed or even attempt sleep without the TV on, If I do, Im scared I'll think about it. It drives DH mad some nights but he understands.

I wish I had an answer for all of us

[Guest1234]

I am, but I tend not to focus on it too much or else I can't stop thinking about it, and get the anxiety and panic attacks.

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[Nmgb]

Another one here who could have written the OP... I'll be watching this thread to see if anyone has coping strategies.

[the girls mum]

Hugs.

I dont know if I have a phobia as such but yes, I get seriously paniced about dying. The thought of being here and then being nothing makes my heart race, it really scares me so much, I have wild thoughts like 'will I know I am dead', 'how do I just dissapear' etc etc - I try not to think about it at night or I find it hard to go to sleep.

Going to sleep is sometimes scary if I get in this mind set because I start to think, what if I dont wake up etc etc.

I dont know where this came from but I can very clearly remember as a child saying to my mum 'we dont die do we? Humans dont die?' and my mum telling me that yes we do, I bawled and bawled and bawled. Even at that age it scared me. My mum also has this exact same issue but probably a bit worse then me.

You are definitely not alone. xxx

[Me&MrMagoo]

Yup, I'm another that could have written that post word for word ...

My coping strategy is to try not to thunk about it everyone tells me to see a counsellor but they can't tell me what happens when we die so why bother!!

I usually get the panic attacks when everything is going well in my life

[sweetums89]

Well its nice to know Im not alone, most times i try to just tell myself not to think about it, but i think about more then 20 times day, after about 10 times i cant just not think about it. i cant even watch movies where people die etc cuz it sets me off. Well actually everything sets me off, looking at my children does, eating food, going out, doing everything in general, i just think "whats the point, we're all gonna die anyway".I dont think counsellors or drugs or anything could take this fear away. There are rare(very rare) occasions when Im not scared, and i wish so bad that i could feel like that all time. Its hard when no one else around knows how you feel, so nothing they say can make it even a tiny bit better.

[delirium]

I won't say I have a phobia, but I will say I have an extreme fear of dying. Being atheist, I believe we die and that's it, there's no after life, no spirit, it's just the end. I also freak thinking about not seeing my DH and kids.