how do I get DD to go to sleep without crying? Please help!

[AndrewTheEmu]

So she is learning to walk (at 8 months old) which just results in lots of accidents and tears all day and night and with every new development comes new sleeping problems

She was self settling with no crying, just put in the cot wide awake and she'd drift off without any assistance in max 5 minutes.

Now.. She gets hysterical
First of all If i put her in her cot wide awake (like i used to, she just stands up and fumbles around squeling untill she hurts herself,
at which point of time I go in, pick her up to calm her down and try rocking/patting/shhing to sleep, but she just gets cranky because she is tired.
NO MATTER HOW LONG I rock and pat her she just keeps crying (on and off) untill she 'passes out'
So then I put her down to sleep but she wakes up only 40 mins later to try walking again and cry some more.

I DO NOT want to leave her in her cot crying (lots of tears, crying so forcfully she gasps for air and sometimes makes herself sick ) but when i rock/pat her in her room/by her cot, its like she knows im about to put her down/its sleep time and gets very upset aswell.

I dont know what to do, shes always been such a good sleep, and on the occasion she has had trouble going to sleep, rocks/pats have ALWAYS work and now thats not working either.

any ideas? please help! I hate seeing her so upset!

[mrsd]

This must be very upsetting (and tiring) for you and her.

I think it's worth you looking at the controlled crying techniques, only because you're kind of doing it anyway, but the way they explain it has been proven to work ok (though you do have to put up with a bit of - heartbreaking - crying) off and on.

If I remember properly, you gradually increase the length of time between when you go in to her (and you kind of work that out yourself). eg. You leave a little time for her to settle herself then you go in quietly, put her back down and pat her (without saying anything or turning the light on), then leave again. If the crying continues, go back in after double the time and do the same thing. If it continues, double the time and do it again. Frankly, I never doubled the time, I was too soft but kind of did it regularly every 5 mins or so 9that's a long time to hear a little one cry).

But first, is she teething? If she is sick or teething, nothing else will work but pain relief.

Good luck. This stage will pass eventually. Hope this helped.

BTW, the controlled crying thing at 10 mths meant that G cried for about half an hour the first night I tried it, and 10 mins the second. She was right for the third. I kicked myself for not trying it earlier, though I hated hearing her cry. And she had been a good sleeper before she regressed after a change of routine at 3.5 months.

[lysha]

I remember DS going through the same phase when he learnt to stand up in his cot so I know exactly where you're coming from.. What we did was 1) buy a cd player and cd (I got great ones from kmart or the ABC shops) that play lullabies, he's just turned one and lovvvveeessss his CD still to this day now! Then 2) (I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not, but it worked for him) DH and I put a chair next to his cot and at night we would put him down with his music and then leave, the second e stood up crying one of us would go in and sit on the chair with a hand across him for comfort.. It would take about 3 songs, but he would calm himself down and fall asleep..

Goodluck with it all, I hated this stage but after a few weeks of that the music seemed to be enough to get him to go to sleep.. But we were up a few times a night sitting with him, resisted the urge to pick him up though!

In fact if he wakes nowadays I just go in and turn the music on and he drifts off straight away..

[trishalishous]

I agree with the music idea! DD is the same age, and her sleep has been up and down over the last few months with crawling/cruising. we have a seahorse thing which plays music.
I started using it when I fed to sleep, so she associated the music with sleep.
now DH pops her down, presses the seahorse and she falls asleep.
its great as we get some quiet time alone now. (and my mums/sisters can put her to bed when we are working)
we cosleep so the rare night wakings aren't an issue. DD sometimes skips her morning nap and sleeps 12-3 instead, then bed at 8/9ish.

[Bubbles10]

Maybe she needs a slightly later (or earlier ) bedtime. Watch out for her tired signs and if they are happening earlier bring forward her bedtime or vice versa if they aren't there when you are currently doing bedtimes stuff.

Does she like books? Maybe you can introduce a book before bedtime, cuddle and winddown time with Mum or Dad.

[trishalishous]

good ideas bubbles! we have a story before bed, DD loves animals atm, and we read an A-Z of animals before bed.
I've also found that over tired = unhappy bedtime.DD has a late bedtime, but sometimes needs an early sleeptime!