Would you let your 16 year old...

[PrimaDonnnaGirl]

Go out with a 20 year old?? Ok, she's 17 in a few weeks and in her last year of school this year. She is very responsible and tells me everything and I mean everything...we have a fantastic relationship.

She works casually in a chicken shop and has met a boy (man??) who she told me about weeks ago - she came home from work and said Mum I'm in love with guy from work but he's got a girlfriend...anyway fast forward to yesterday, the girlfriend has been ousted and he has invited her for dinner tonight, I'm still trying to decide whether to let her go. He studies full time and lives with his parents not far from us, I have met him at the shop and he seems ok on first impressions. Part of me wants to let her go because of her past history of being so responsible and because I will find out every detail anyway...part of me wants to say no, as I've really only got a year to wait this out before she is 18 and won't need my "permission" anyway??

Ahh.. what should I do? Teenage love

[threechooks]

Well...he studies fulltime and he works so that is a very good start. Many 20 yr old men are pretty immature anyway and they may have the same maturity level. My concern is if his interests lay in going out with his mates to the pub etc, because she would be left out cause she is not old enough. If he lives with his folks doesnt have children etc I would let me daughter go out with him. As you say its only 1 year until you will have little or no say. Its great that you have a close relationship, make sure she is on the pill and using condoms and try to trust that you raised her the right way to make good decisions. Perhaps if they become an item you could contact his parents in an effort to get to know his background a little more.

[TurnedBatty]

I was 15 with an 18 year old. At 17 I was alot more responsible, and as longh as she remains open with you, I think its okay

[threechooks]

p.s I met my DH is my last year of school and he was 21... My parents wanted to kill him cause I would wag school and hang out at his house. He had a 2 yr old daughter a crazy ex-partner and lived in the worst most dangerous suburb. I was 18 though. But 12 years on...my parents love him and my step daughter.

[JabberJaw]

I would let her go.

[lovemybabies!]

I'd let her go, you say she has been responsible in the past. Maybe ask that the boy come a little earlier so you can meet him properly

[PrimaDonnnaGirl]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your responses/experiences, I think I will let her go. As for the safe sex thing, she is already on the pill and we have the condom talk quite regularly...

[babycart]

Yes - let her go

She sees this guy at work anyway, so you can't keep her away from him - and you don't want her sneaking behind your back

She has done nothing wrong and has given you no reason not to trust her etc

If you are really worried about the age gap, suggest they spend more time at your house where you can keep an eye out. Also, remind her about safe sex etc

When I was a teenager, I was 14 and dating a 19 yo (lasted about a month) and at 17 started dating a 23 yo (for about 6 months) and at 21 was dating a 26yo (who is now my hubby). She may just be more mature and always prefer slightly older guys

[trishalishous]

I agree,let her go!
I married a man 8 years older than me at 19

[TripleTime]

I was 15 with a 20yo & 18 with a 28yo

I'd let her go.