parents seperating

**Gloominous** · 07-09-2006 13:05

Just wondering if anyone out there is/has gone through their parents seperation. I only found out yesterday and although I am a grown, married girl with two DD's of my own I'm really really upset by this. Dh say's I'm acting like someone has died, but it's just a hugh shock after 30 odd years together. Am I being to emotional?????????????

**nelly75** · 07-09-2006 13:18

Absolutely not - what a huge shock for you and you must feel so sad for both your parents.

It must be so hard for you as I'm sure you feel torn between your parents and you want to be there for both of them as well as dealing with your own feelings.

**MissBrightside** · 07-09-2006 13:26

I dont think so either. My parents separated 3 years ago after 27 years of marriage. They got a divorce last year. It didnt really effect me that much because I kinda saw it coming they were both really unhappy together. I think they stayed together for us kids, but I think just because they are parents dosent mean they have to stay together in a loveless relationship.
You have every right to be feeling upset about it as it was probably a huge shock for you, you may not have had a clue as I did about my parents. I think I would have been very upset also if I didnt think it would ever happen.
Lots of people would come up to me and say how are you coping, are you ok etc, so I think most people no matter how old you are, think you deserve to grieve about your parents separating.

to you, it'll all make sense in time.

V8 · 07-09-2006 13:35

I think you have every reason to be upset. It would come as a shock to me if my parents separated after 30 years of marriage too. I hope you are ok.

**LMenz** · 07-09-2006 13:39

Hi there - You're not overreatcting at all. My parents separated when I was 17. They had been married for nearly 25 years. In my case I was sort of glad because of all the fighting. My father was also having an affair. It devestated us all for a while. My mum is still not over it and I no longer see my father (for lot's of reasons).

It will be an adjustment for everyone - Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further.

to you

**Rachel&Emma** · 07-09-2006 13:58

You're not overreacting. I cried when my parents separated. The hardest part is now seeing mum with a new man and dad so lonely

**SamanthaJane** · 07-09-2006 14:34

I would be extremely upset also... no matter how i was, how old they were, how long i'd been out of home etc etc... it's not something i would just shrug my shoulders at and "carry on" so to speak...

**Rell** · 07-09-2006 14:57

It is very normal to feel upset. My Parents seperated when I was 17yrs old (after 24yrs of marriage). For me it wasn't a big shock as I could see how unhappy they were, it was still difficult.
I hope your DH is able to give you some much needed support

**NZMama** · 07-09-2006 15:42

Originally Posted by Rell

It is very normal to feel upset. My Parents seperated when I was 17yrs old (after 24yrs of marriage). For me it wasn't a big shock as I could see how unhappy they were

This was the same for me. Although it was hard to see the family home break up I must admit both my parents were so much happier for it and it showed in their new lives. The hardest part for me after I got used to it was splitting holidays between the 2 towns.

for what your going through right now...

**Gloominous** · 08-09-2006 10:01

Thanks everyone, glad to see I'm not being a sook. It did come as a huge shock to me as I didn't see it coming at all, I know they are under a lot of stress at the moment but I thought they'd pull together to get through it IYKWIM. I'm just worried about taking sides etc, cos I dont want to do that so hopefully they will try to keep it friendly, at least around me and the kids.