Where are all the Stay at Home Dads? | Bub Hub
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  1. #1
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    Default Where are all the Stay at Home Dads?

    OK I know that I am a mum but my husband has taken on the enormous responsibility of looking after our kid’s full time. He has been doing this for 12 months now and I can't believe the lack of social networks - play groups etc for the stay at home dad.

    Men don't talk about the same things as women. They talk about sport the weather and other men stuff. Yesterday he noticed that our next door neighbour had a mutual friend over for a play date and a chat, both were women - he said, “I don't really have anyone that I can do that with as most of my mates work etc.”

    So I challenge all of the stay at home dads in the Manly area to make contact, I will help get the network started and you guys can start enjoying an interesting relaxed environment to have fun with your kids but the mental stimulation of male adult company.

    The first play date will be at Queenscliff Park next Wednesday 19th at 10am - if it is raining then perhaps our house in Balgowlah would be an option - depending on the numbers of course.

    Look forward to hearing from you.
    Lizzie wife of Alan and mum to Isobel and Tom

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    I think it is a universal thing, no matter where you are.

    There is definitely a lack of dads groups, normally we get pushed into being friends with the husbands of the wives our wives meet.

    Not sure what the answer is to it all!!

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    Strange. What about church playgroups? I attend one (QLD) and there are quite a few Dad's. We invite them to all of our gatherings.

    I think it depends on your community. Even at the gym I see Dad's dropping their kids into the creche and having a chat.

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    I completely agree with the lack of social support for Stay at home Dads. I have been a SAHD for just over 6 months now and have yet to find any Dad's group anywhere in Melbourne's west. Funnily enough my wifes Mothers group didn't like the idea of me attending either...
    Even looking at this forum, the Dads section has more women in it than men. lol.

    I must admit that I had a hard time convincing myself that being a SAHD was a good thing, being raised to believe that that Mum stayed at home while Dad worked. Even now alot of people look down on me for staying at home and that does weigh heavily on my mind sometimes but you learn to deal with it.

    From my experience I can only conclude that SAHD's are ashamed to admit they care for their child/children and this may explain why there are so few around..

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    Hi Roofless,
    I'm a reporter with a newspaper in Meblourne's western suburbs and I'm trying to find stay at home dads to interview.
    Could you contact me at grant.reynolds@fairfax.com.au ?

    Thanks
    Last edited by Grant; 25-03-2011 at 08:21. Reason: clarification

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roofless View Post
    I completely agree with the lack of social support for Stay at home Dads. I have been a SAHD for just over 6 months now and have yet to find any Dad's group anywhere in Melbourne's west. Funnily enough my wifes Mothers group didn't like the idea of me attending either...
    Even looking at this forum, the Dads section has more women in it than men. lol.

    I must admit that I had a hard time convincing myself that being a SAHD was a good thing, being raised to believe that that Mum stayed at home while Dad worked. Even now alot of people look down on me for staying at home and that does weigh heavily on my mind sometimes but you learn to deal with it.

    From my experience I can only conclude that SAHD's are ashamed to admit they care for their child/children and this may explain why there are so few around..
    I have the same issue when it comes to mothers groups....society (women) seem to be having trouble accepting the fact that fathers are taking on a different role when it comes to children. it also comes down to what seems to be sexist behavior from what I have observed, so its a bit of a mix. hopefully if enough fathers voice this we might see more dad stuff? mind you up near me I have found a dads group but I have lost the flyer for it so I'm a bit disappointed lol (still trying to find the flyer)

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    the mothers groups ive attended have always had a couple of dads there! i think its great

    dads should definitely give it a go, a friends hubby had his first taste of parent helper in his sons kindy class and cant wait to go back! how awesome is that!!! something i doubt i could ever convince my hub to even try!

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    It is definitely a sexist issue, but i think it comes from an innate protectiveness women tend to have when it comes to kids. Just as men/boys have the ancient role of "provider" deeply ingrained, so too women/girls have a similarly ingrained role of protector. Its the old "stranger-danger" fear. Like any male is seen as a potential threat to the children! And since it is only in very recent decades that roles are changing, its hard to fight those insticts.

    I dont agree with it, but i am not surprised that men are not welcome at "mums groups". Its a real shame and definitely needs to change since there are still too few brave dads around taking on being a SAHD to have dads groups everywhere.

    Roofless, its a pity you're in the west, as the playgroup i used to attend in Berwick usually had around 3 or 4 dads in the group. So definitely keep searching the traditional groups as there are a few around that are happy to welcome dads into the mix.

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    bellalika is offline I'm trying my hardest, please don't ask for more.
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    Roofless, move to Eastern Melbourne. There is a full Dad's Only Playgroup at our centre.


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    Move to the East??? Umm thanks, but no thanks. My wife is from Narre Warren Nth and when we bought out in Sunshine her parents were shocked. They expected us to buy around Berwick. Part of the reason I'm able to stay at home is due to the money we saved buying in the west rather than the east. Being raised in the country, I cant handle the east, Everyone is in too much of a hurry and prices for being that far away from the city are a joke. It would be great to have a Dads group like that out this way but I haven't found one yet. One day a group like that will pop up but till then its the backyard...


 

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