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  1. #11
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    Hi all,
    I'm 24, single and pregnant.. though I'm due on the 21st of Jan so I won't be for much longer! Good to know there are many others who have done it alone and are clearly doing well! Still good friends with the father, who I was with for a little over 6 years so he will be a part of bubs life. Just wondering what everyones thoughts are on which surname their little ones have/will have? I have already told DF that I want bub to have my surname, as he will be living with me.. though he isn't too impressed.

  2. #12
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    Hi there,

    I'm 33 and am single and pregnant, i am 23weeks along now due on the 6th May, this is my first baby. Congrats on your pregnancy!!

    Quite a story actually! I was with my partner for 4 1/2 years who was 14 years older than me. He already had one child from his previous relationship. We had discussed having children before, but he had said that he didn't think he wanted anymore due to his age. For a while I was happy to accept this, but as all ladies are aware, that biological clock starts ticking and before you know it you are seeing babies everywhere and you then want one of your own!

    We discussed it again, and he said he would consider it. It was around this time that I started having problems with my periods being extremely painful and experiencing odd pain mid cycle. I ended up seeing a gynaey who diagnosed severe endometriosis. 2 operations last year and my next appt. he tells me that my chances of concieving were still good, but I had to get my bum into gear or else I might have to try IVF.

    Sooo, I procastinate on it for a while and then low and behold my partner breaks up with me! I was devastated for the loss of the relationship, but also for the loss of having a child with him. I started to panic because I could see my chances disappearing.. I wasn't getting any younger and the endometriosis would come back.

    Soooo, 2 weeks after we had broken up I called in to see him to put an offer to him, "will you be the father of my child". Happily he agreed and after one time of TTC, one month later that magical double blue line appeared on the stick!!

    There is soooo much more to this story as it has been one emotional roller coaster, but this is supposed to be a quick reply so I will leave it there for now.

    Cheers,
    bkg77

  3. #13
    MamaKoala is offline Happy Mummy of 2 Big Boys and a Baby Girl
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    SPC - Congratulations on finding a great man to help you have another baby.

    Experience - I'm pretty sure I responded to your thread. We probably have 'similar' stories on how we got pg this time.

    I was with FOB for almost 5 years and had 2 boys. We split in 2005. We then reunited briefly in 2008 and I got pg with DD who is 16 months. He flipped between me and his estranged wife.

    He decided to give it another go with her so we stopped seeing each other for a while . I had DD and then they officially separated and we fooled around a few times. We thought we were being safe and I had no idea that I was pg until I realised I was late. I don't take much notice of my cycles but he does and alerted me to the fact that I was due soon.
    This will cause a lot of problems with property settlements for him so he asked that I think about abortion.
    We haven't had time to really discuss it in depth but I am (obviously) keeping the baby.
    I was single while pg with DD so I'll be fine. Probably a lot less stressed as I wasn't after a relationship with him this time like I was with DD. So I'm just taking it as it comes and trying to figure out how to break the news to my mum. I know I'm an adult but I'm sure some of you will understand that parents want the best for us (as we do for our kids) and she will be upset.
    It's hard to keep the secret when I feel like s**t.

    As for sirnames, all my kids have his sirname so this one will be no different. Last time I was tempted to use mine but I know that was just spite so I gave her his just like her brothers.

  4. #14
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    Hi Tainted,

    Congrats on your pregnancy! I am 33 and single and am still good friends with the father too (although I still wish it was more). I have chosen to go with both surnames. But I think that you wanting your bub to have your surname is awesome!

    I don't believe we should stick with the fathers name just because it's always been tradition or because society believes it the right thing to do. We are in the 21st Century now, things have changed and they will continue to change.

    You stick to your guns, he will get over it!

    )

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by bkg77 View Post
    Hi Tainted,

    Congrats on your pregnancy! I am 33 and single and am still good friends with the father too (although I still wish it was more). I have chosen to go with both surnames. But I think that you wanting your bub to have your surname is awesome!

    I don't believe we should stick with the fathers name just because it's always been tradition or because society believes it the right thing to do. We are in the 21st Century now, things have changed and they will continue to change.

    You stick to your guns, he will get over it!

    )
    Congratulations on your pregnancy

    The naming issue isn't as easy as that (not sure from state to state





    This from www.familylawyersaustralia.com.au, Children's issues:

    Parental responsibility

    In the absence of a Court Order, each parent has equal shared parental responsibility for the child. Obviously if the parents are separated the practical effect of that will be reduced somewhat as the parent with whom the child lives will automatically assume responsibility for a lot of the day to day issues such as deciding on the child's bedtime and so on. However, in the absence of an Order to the contrary, equal shared parental responsibility is retained by both parents, meaning that decisions on major long term issues should not be made without consulting the other parent first. Major long term issues include education, religious and cultural upbringing, health and even choice of name.

    Sorry I just realised I gatecrashed a pregnancy thread!
    Last edited by Stiflers Mom; 14-02-2011 at 22:50.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie55 View Post
    Hi there,
    Yep I'm single and preggers. 30 weeks tomorrow yay!!
    Congrats on your pregnancy, how are you finding it so far?
    Mine has been really easy which I'm very greatful for but starting to get uncomfortable now, not sure I can last another 10 weeks!!
    This is my first bub and I'm having a little girl
    Wow not long to go for you either! How exciting to have a little girl

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaKoala View Post
    I'm single, 29 and 5 weeks with my 4th baby.
    Wow you are going to have your hands full. I am freaking about about having a newborn and a toddler on my own... I will think of you when I feel I am overwhelmed

    Quote Originally Posted by aimztar View Post
    I'm single, turn 30 in 4wks & 6/7eks preg with first. Bit scared but I'm sure all will be good
    Congratulations! I hope all goes well

    Quote Originally Posted by Singlepregnantchick View Post
    TB&M - congratulations on another boy - have you kept your DS's baby things? How is the mediation going? I think I read elsewhere that you're having some couple's therapy? I guess as it's your second birth you'll have a clear idea of how much help he'd be and what you need during labour. Have you thought about hiring a doula? I'm considering either a doula or an independent midwife.

    AFM; I had my daughter alone, as FOB ran for the hills when I was 6 weeks pregnant. It was only a causal relationship and he's being good and paying CS, so I really have little to complain about. I'm 37 and really didn't want him to have effectively deprived Esme of both a father and siblings, so I decided to have another baby by myself rather than dash into a relationship just to have a baby. I have a good friend who agreed to be my donor and after 5 months of trying we made a baby. It's a bit unusual but it means there will be an 'uncle' around for both my children and I will be able to consider repartnering at my leisure, some point in 2013 I imagine! It's a completely different pregnancy, physically and emotionally and so far, so good.

    Tell me your stories!
    SPC - Yeah I have kept everything from my DS so that is good. Although he was a bub in winter whereas this one is a summer one - so just had to buy a few cooler things for bub to wear. I am going through a private hospital so I have no idea who my midwife will be until I get there! My xDH was very good for the birth of my DS and in the last few days we haven't had a fight... so there is still 5 weeks left to be able to be in each others company in a friendly way so time will tell.

    I am in awe of you deciding to have a baby on your own. You sound a lot stronger then I am. I am hoping that one thing that comes out of all of this heartbreak for me is that I get my 'independent woman' back. I feel a little lost wihtout my DH and a few years ago I don't think I would have felt this way. I used to be such a confident go getter. Not sure what happened along the way


    Quote Originally Posted by experience88 View Post
    ive started a couple of other threads on here about how depressing im finding my situation.. but i'm.. laughing through the pain.. ha ha. i think i'm about 8 weeks pregnant. i went to the hospital about a week and a bit ago because i had some bleeding. they did a blood test (which has left my arm completely bruised, loooks awful), and compared it to an earlier test and said i'd miscarried because my numbers had gone down. two days later i had an ultra sound to confirm the mc, and there was a little beating heart, much to everyones suprise. apparently i have a fairly large haemorrhage, which could either, cause alot of problems, or be no trouble at all. i've had bleeding and spotting since then, so i'm getting another blood test in a few hours.
    i have a 6month old (who is now crawling!!), and the FOB and i weren't and havent been in a relationship. he pays cs, but that's about the extent of his involvement. he is the father of this baby too, and fairly pi**ed off about it lol. i don't know why, but this time we've hardly had any contact, and i've been really ok with it. while i was pregnant with DD i was outraged about how he just didnt care. i guess i'm happy to avoid the stress and drama, and i have DD to focus on..who has just done a poo. better get to it.
    Good news you still have your bubba What a rollercoaster you have already been on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tainted View Post
    Hi all,
    I'm 24, single and pregnant.. though I'm due on the 21st of Jan so I won't be for much longer! Good to know there are many others who have done it alone and are clearly doing well! Still good friends with the father, who I was with for a little over 6 years so he will be a part of bubs life. Just wondering what everyones thoughts are on which surname their little ones have/will have? I have already told DF that I want bub to have my surname, as he will be living with me.. though he isn't too impressed.
    Congrats - not long for you at all! You must be really in that uncomfy stage... I am already having trouble sleeping and I still have 5 weeks to go!

    Things for me are a little different. At the moment because I was married to XDH for 5 years (together for 10) I already have his surname and so does my DS. I think my boys should have the same last name so this bub will also have XDH's surname. XDH is really a great dad as well. I do think though that I will name bub the first name I want. We haven't been able to agree on a name yet so I think I will jsut put my foot down on that one


    AFM - I am getting better and better every day. It have been about 4 weeks since my XDH moved out - but he still comes here at times to help out. He also does the mowing etc. which is good cos I am starting to get a little waddly I hope you guys are all doing well
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 12-01-2011 at 08:57.

  7. #17
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    my DD has my surname... FOB said (about last pregnancy, but this one too) that if it was a boy he'd want it to have his surname and also the boys in his family have a tradition of having the same middle name. i said NO. i think taking the fathers surname comes from the ceremony of marriage and i'm not married and i have 100percent care of my child so... seems obvious to me

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by experience88 View Post
    my DD has my surname... FOB said (about last pregnancy, but this one too) that if it was a boy he'd want it to have his surname and also the boys in his family have a tradition of having the same middle name. i said NO. i think taking the fathers surname comes from the ceremony of marriage and i'm not married and i have 100percent care of my child so... seems obvious to me
    That's what I thought.

  9. #19
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    Hi everyone... I am also single and preganant, partner and I broke up when I was 18 Weeks am now 25 weeks with a bubba boy am very excited about the new addition, I already have a 13 year old so a big age difference.

    As for surnames we haven't discussed this as we don't really discuss anything but I would like bubba to have my surname and I will only put his name down if he refuses to sign the birth certificate if bubba doesn't have his name...

    Hope everyone is well with their pregnancies... and to those who are close to their due date good luck!!

    I was thinking of making a facebook group for all the 2011 pregnant single mummies- is anyone intrested?

  10. #20
    MamaKoala is offline Happy Mummy of 2 Big Boys and a Baby Girl
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    Hi kat,
    Welcome. I have older kids too (not quite 9 and 7) and a 15 month old. It felt like a completely new experience after such a long break. Good luck with trying to sort out the logistics with your ex. I'm pretty sure my ex would refuse to sign if his surname wasn't on it. Hopefully your discussions go smoothly.
    I'm in for a fb page I do sit on there a lot hahaha.


 

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