I dont know if I can handle Xmas day

**just her chameleon** · 23-12-2010 10:33

We are traveling to the gold coast to spend Xmas day with DH's family. I dont know if I can handle it. I am feeling really anxious about seeing so many people and having them ask me when #2 is coming along. I don't think I will be able to cope.

I was supposed to go back to work today to tidy things up for EOM which had been brought forward due to xmas

I couldn't do it- I had a mini melt down this morning and couldn't go in. Im a mess, 2 days ago I was worried because I wasn't crying now I can't stop crying it's like the flood gates have opened.

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**Myztik** · 23-12-2010 10:44

I have no advice but couldn't read and not post.

do your family know what happened?

**KatiesMum** · 23-12-2010 10:46

Can you perhaps get your DH to talk to the people while you are outside or something and let them know, ask them not to ask questions etc?

Might make things easier for you.

**The Girls Only Club** · 23-12-2010 10:48

**just her chameleon** · 23-12-2010 10:51

Thanks for your replies, my FIL knows and I guess he told my SMIL and SIL but I dont know about everyone else. They are his extended family cousins, aunties uncles.

I don't think I want them to know. I can't handle the sympathetic looks and the "are you ok" questions. Im sorry, it makes me sound so selfish i just don't know what to do with myself right now. I guess I can't have to best of both worlds I either have to put up with the are you ok's or the when's #2

I just feel like telling DH that I dont want to go

but thats not fair on him or DD she will love seeing the family and I know she will be spoilt rotten. I don't want to take that away from her.

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**KatiesMum** · 23-12-2010 17:27

everyone handles things differently hun.

Only you know what you want and how to deal with things. Perhaps ask your DH to make sure he sticks to you like glue and deflects any questions .... and perhaps explain you arent feeling well, so you might want to go and lie down. you have a headache so laying quietly/not talking to people etc without actually being rude.

**BabelFish** · 23-12-2010 17:33

You are not selfish. I hope that you are ok on Christmas Day. I'm very sorry for your loss.

**Amara** · 23-12-2010 17:58

Hugs. As hard as it seems its still probably best if it is out in the open. People are unlikely to ask you anything if they know. If they don't know they are far more likely to upset you.

**flicker** · 23-12-2010 18:01

it is so natural to be feeling like this. Loss is some how even harder at Christmas and having people ask akward questions when you are still grieving is horrible.

be strong and concentrate on your son and the sparkle in his eyes. Maybe stick around the people who know that can help deflect the dreded #2 question, like katiesmum suggested.

and know if you end up crying, that there is no shame in that at all and people dont need to know the reason for your tears.