Feeling like the worst mother in the world...

**iamstephyc** · 02-09-2006 14:55

I feel awful! I have just finished putting all of my daughters (both of them) toys away in the cupboard where they cannot have them. And I mean all of them.
My girls are 4 and 5 and cannot keep their room clean. They literally have everything all over the floor every day. I am always telling them to put their toys away, pick their clothes up etc etc.
They go into their room to clean it because it is a disgusting mess, and somehow it ends up worse! I have already put most of their toys away a couple of months ago to try to drive my point home. I have been going crazy over it for months and feel like all I'm doing is rousing on them for not cleaning up.
Today I had enough. I gave them a time frame of an hour to clean up their room and told them if they didn't do it, I would be putting all their toys away. So what did they do, nothing. they went outside and played, got more stuff out and made more mess. So and hour later, I went in and packed up EVERYTHING! All I left them was their one bedtime teddy each. And they screamed! They were sobbing hyserically (sp) by the time I finished, and I was so tempted to leave something for them but I didn't.
I told them that they now have to earn their toys back They can do this by keeping their room clean for 3 days in a row, then they may pick on e toy to have back (ie the my little ponies). Then they have to keep them clean as well for 3 days in a row or they will be going away again.

I know I've blabbed on for a while (and thanks for sticking with me if you have

) but my question is this:
Is this too harsh? Am I going too far?

Any comments and suggestions would be great.

Thanks again.

**FourAngelKisses** · 02-09-2006 15:09

No, you're not being harsh at all. I have done the exact same thing, only I went a bit further, lol.

I had spent a full week asking my kids (6 and 7 at the time) to clean their room, they refused to do it. So I told them that if they didn't do it, then I will do it and everything will be going in the bin, xbox, tv, books....the lot. All they would have left would be their bed and their chest of drawers. They refused to do it, so I went and piled everything out by the front door ready to go in the bin. They realised I was serious and started crying about it all. So I told them that if they wanted it back, they had to help me tidy the room and put everything away. And they did.....it took them 3hrs but they helped. And it stayed clean for the next two weeks.

Another trick is to put everything in garbage bags then drop it in the wheelie bin, then when they aren't around, move it into the garden shed or garage. Let them stew over it for a few days then give it all back.....as long as they earn it.

Like Dr Phil says, every child has a currency, for young kids, it's their toys. If they really want something back, they will have to earn it back with good behaviour.

**iamstephyc** · 02-09-2006 15:12

[quote=angel_kisses9798;616979]
Another trick is to put everything in garbage bags then drop it in the wheelie bin, then when they aren't around, move it into the garden shed or garage. Let them stew over it for a few days then give it all back.....as long as they earn it.quote]

You're sneaky. I like it!!

**babylover111** · 02-09-2006 15:20

my mum STILL does this to me if i leave things out in the family room, but instead of earning it back with good behaviour i have to BUY it back with money

**FourAngelKisses** · 02-09-2006 15:21

Originally Posted by babylover111

my mum STILL does this to me if i leave things out in the family room, but instead of earning it back with good behaviour i have to BUY it back with money

I can see how that would work for someone our age, LOL.

**indigoin0z** · 02-09-2006 15:24

some people would say you are being harsh.... but not me..

start them young i say, then its not a shock to them when all of a sudden things are expected of them later.. + it certainly makes parents job alot easier, if habits are already set... of course they still wont like it when they get older, but they will be so set in doing what works in their household they will sulk their way thru it - just like poor mummy & daddys have to do with their work

good luck
& whatever you do;
dont give in mid cycle/punishment,
if sometimes you think something was a little harsh, just dont repeat it to its severity, but NEVER back out half-way!

**Tisme** · 03-09-2006 11:14

I've tried this and it works wonderfully until one day a couple of weeks ago they started emptying all their toys on the floor and when I went in after numerous warnings to pack it all awy THEY HELPED ME PACK IT UP !!!!! What the heavens do you do then????

**FourAngelKisses** · 03-09-2006 11:24

I think they want us to "help" because then it doesn't seem like such a big job to them....and they get to spend time with mum too.

**SilverStarfish** · 03-09-2006 11:29

Friends of mine did exactly the same thing after their two decided it wooud be fun to throw toys and clothes out their window and down the back stairs....

The kids came home to a totally bare room. Just their beds and a pillow

It sure got their attention and things never went flying out the window again!

**FourAngelKisses** · 03-09-2006 11:31

Originally Posted by Faeml

Friends of mine did exactly the same thing after their two decided it wooud be fun to throw toys and clothes out their window and down the back stairs....

It sure got their attention and things never went flying out the window again!

LOL, I remember when we lived in a 2 storey unit, my brother and I thought it would be fun to throw about 200 paper planes out the window. Mum and dad made us pick them all up. We never did it again after that.