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  1. #411
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    Default Hints, Tips, Advice and Suggestions for new IVF'rs

    I never told work what my leave was for but provided a medical certificate with no actual details of what occurred, end of the day it's confidential.
    People were gobsmacked when I told them I was pregnant at 17 weeks! They were none the wiser of our journey, we did two rnds of ivf that barely influenced my full time job.

  2. #412
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    Thanks Chances! Hopefully things go well for me and it doesn't end up effecting my job too much either.

    We went to see the FS today and officially started our PGD workup. So now we wait. At least it is underway, but I wish we didn't have to wait so long.

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    Lol I spoke a bit toooo soon! Thought I was superwomen doing everyone's jobs at work no worries then things started going pear shaped a week or so ago, so at home resting up for a few days!
    Need to change the way I am and say no!

    So once ya thru trimester 2 and feeling fab, just don't assume it means u can do extra look after yaself.

  4. #414
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    Hi all, I am new to this thread. I have come on here as we got told last week hubby has low sperm mobility and we have to do IVF. We have been TTC for 16 months and we are both 32 years old. I found this site because I feel very lonely and unsupported. My cousin just had a baby today and I am meant to be happy for her but I can't be. I have always dreamed of having a daughter and kept wishing she would have a son but no she had a girl which adds to my hurt. Anyway besides that what is it with family ect ignoring your infertility. No one in mine seems to want to know and the ones who do know don't talk to me anymore. They avoid me even on facebook if I comment on a post I get ignored by my SIL's ect. Is it just me or is that just normal. Anyway wishing you all success in having babiesand your journey. Thanks for sharing your stories and it does make me feel a bit better to know I am not alone.

  5. #415
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    KtKing is offline The same sun that melts the ice hardens the clay. The difference is the nature of the material.
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    Hi Sharlee.

    I'm sorry you have to go through this and feel so alone.

    I have been there too. In the 7ish years we were TTC in total my close friends had 9 babies and between DH and I we got in total 7 nieces and nephews. Each time someone told me their great news I would have to plaster that fake smile on my face and fight back tears. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for them, but still very sad for me.

    I can't tell you how to survive this because I bearly did. DH was very worried about me and knew I was slipping into depression.

    I knew I couldn't blame anyone around me for having kids. My problems were not their fault. But knowing that didn't stop the pain. I didn't think any if them understood and I didn't think they cared because they avoided talking to me about it. After one last cycle I asked my closest friend about it and she explained that its not that they don't care or want to know but they felt uncomfortable with the topic and they all had a hint of guilt at their ease of having kids. They didn't know what to say. They didn't know how to comfort me either. I'm glad she told me and I knew from then that even though I didn't always see it, they were always standing behind me for support.

    Anyway it did get better and after 7 ivf cycles on one with a donor egg (from my sister). We finally got our BFP. All that pain and all that grief feels all but a dream and almost worth it in the end.

    I hope your IVF journey is short and sweet. Remember it's not over until that doctor says there is no chance.

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    Sharlee32  (17-02-2013)

  7. #416
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharlee32 View Post
    Hi all, I am new to this thread. I have come on here as we got told last week hubby has low sperm mobility and we have to do IVF. We have been TTC for 16 months and we are both 32 years old. I found this site because I feel very lonely and unsupported. My cousin just had a baby today and I am meant to be happy for her but I can't be. I have always dreamed of having a daughter and kept wishing she would have a son but no she had a girl which adds to my hurt. Anyway besides that what is it with family ect ignoring your infertility. No one in mine seems to want to know and the ones who do know don't talk to me anymore. They avoid me even on facebook if I comment on a post I get ignored by my SIL's ect. Is it just me or is that just normal. Anyway wishing you all success in having babiesand your journey. Thanks for sharing your stories and it does make me feel a bit better to know I am not alone.
    Hi Sharlee, you are definitely not alone, sometimes a place like this may be the only one to find people who genuinely understand what you are going through. Try not to take it to heart that friends and family ignore the topic. I used to find it so frustrating too, people would either say nothing or say stupid offensive things like 'that's ok you can just adopt'. In the end, as much as they can try, no one will ever understand what infertility is like unless they have gone through it. It is very difficult for some people to know the right words to say and it makes them feel uncomfortable so they just say nothing. It's not always that they don't care, although I know sometimes they don't, then you don't need them around. Speak to your family and close friends about why they ignore the topic, I'm sure you will find they do care and just don't know what to say. You only need supportive people in your life, I cut off a girl who was my best friend because of an argument we had over her lack of understanding over my infertility, and I am glad she's out of my life.

    As hard as it is, try not to begrudge people when they fall pregnant, sometimes they can sense your resentment which may be why they ignore you. I used to cry at home every time I found out someone else was pregnant but it's not their fault and I wouldn't want anyone to feel they can't be happy just because I had a problem. Believe me I know it's hard but harbouring those feelings aren't good for you. Through all the hard times try to be positive that you will have light at the end of your tunnel.

    As far as your infertility issues go, you are not alone. Your journey may not even be as long as others, if it is only your partner with issues and not both of you which makes it harder. You need to be really strong because IVF is a very emotionally and physically draining process, and will be difficult without support so if you can't talk to family come on here to chat to people who understand.

    my husband also has low sperm motility and poor morphology (shape & quality) and I have PCOS. I am 32 and he is 29. It took us three years to conceive. We tried IVF twice and it failed both times. I got really sick with the IVF, not everyone can tolerate all the drugs/procedures etc. Even though I had only done it twice, I wasn't sure how much longer I could do it, I was so depressed it was all becoming too much, not to mention the expense. With 2 frozen embryos in store I was willing to give them a go and then re-assess the situation. Not long before I was going to try for the third attempt, I found out I was pregnant naturally!

    Prior to this we had both been really looking after our health. I lost 15 kilos (needed to lose a lot more but was a good start) hubby not overweight but exercise and good diet helps good sperm production. I bought him these vitamins from America that I am certain improved his sperm quality. They are called Fertilaid and Motility Boost and are made by Fairhaven Health sold by IHerb. I was also doing acupuncture and we both see a naturopath that was giving us vitamins to support fertility. We were told by doctors that we had a 1% chance of conceiving without IVF, and one doctor said there is no way I would get pregnant without IVF. Well miracles do happen, I am now 35 weeks pregnant with a boy, who is being cheeky hanging out in the breech position at the moment, stressing me out!

    Even if your first few IVF attempts don't work, never give up, keep trying naturally as well, look into vitamins and natural remedies too, IVF isn't always the answer for everyone and is so costly and hard on your health. Hang in there and stay strong, you will get through it, it will happen for you one day xox

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    Sharlee32  (17-02-2013)

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    Thank KtKing and DI1981, I am much more positive today and gave myself a mental get over it speech and even went out yesterday and bought my cousins baby some gifts. Our FS basically told me I was fine and my Husbands sperm had low mobility (not sure how low) becasue he had to leave for a birth mid appoitment so we didn't get to ask him many Q's. He does Monash IVF -so I have googled them and he told us to get a referral from the GP for IVF Treatment and then we will go from there. So I am very early into this but optimistic and at least want to try a couple of times. Financially we should be able to afford the fees for about 3 attempts at this stage. I have read through here and picked up lots of tips already RE giving up caffeine, chicken ect. I am glad you have both gotten there in the end. Di I wish you luck with your little boy, do they think he will turn naturally at this point? Best of luck with the rest of the pregnancy I bet your getting excited now not far to go until you meet your little man. I have a question with IVF is it better to get more or less eggs planted to increase chance of pregnancy or does your FS decide that depending on the amount of healthy ones ect. I have read different stories on the internet, I have read that it can just take one egg?

  10. #418
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    In Australia they will usually only implant one embryo, especially first go and if you're under 35. This would likely be the case for you as well -- if you have no fertility issues (only hubby), then your chances of getting pregnant with ICSI or PICSI are high and they probably wouldn't risk 2.

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    Sharlee32  (19-02-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharlee32 View Post
    Thank KtKing and DI1981, I am much more positive today and gave myself a mental get over it speech and even went out yesterday and bought my cousins baby some gifts. Our FS basically told me I was fine and my Husbands sperm had low mobility (not sure how low) becasue he had to leave for a birth mid appoitment so we didn't get to ask him many Q's. He does Monash IVF -so I have googled them and he told us to get a referral from the GP for IVF Treatment and then we will go from there. So I am very early into this but optimistic and at least want to try a couple of times. Financially we should be able to afford the fees for about 3 attempts at this stage. I have read through here and picked up lots of tips already RE giving up caffeine, chicken ect. I am glad you have both gotten there in the end. Di I wish you luck with your little boy, do they think he will turn naturally at this point? Best of luck with the rest of the pregnancy I bet your getting excited now not far to go until you meet your little man. I have a question with IVF is it better to get more or less eggs planted to increase chance of pregnancy or does your FS decide that depending on the amount of healthy ones ect. I have read different stories on the internet, I have read that it can just take one egg?
    hi Sharlee, glad you are feeling much more positive about everything. Seeing the obstetrician this week so will find out what they suggest, I read it is unlikely at this stage for babies to turn on their own but can happen. I know they will probably suggest doing an ECV where they manually try to turn the baby but I don't want this done as there are risks involved and may have to have emergency C/S. I really want a natural birth, so going to see a chiropractor tomorrow who does the Webster technique which is known to help breech babies turn on their own. It is an anxious time so close to the end, I'm excited and scared and feeling very big and uncomfortable in the heat so can't wait till he's born!

    with your IVF question it really depends on your clinic. Most clinics will only implant one embryo for first 1-2 attempts. I went to melbourne IVF and so did 3 other friends I know and they always had 2 put in each time apart from their first couple of tries. I only had 1 put in both times. There is debate on whether it makes a difference or not, on the news a while ago they were saying new research suggests one is best because two can compromise the survival of the healthiest one. One of my friends had 2 in on her last go after 3 yrs of ivf and had twin boys, so definitely be prepared they can both take! My other friend tried 2 in a few times and didn't work then on the 6th go only had 1 embryo left and she had a baby boy.
    Discuss your options with your specialist, at least first couple of times I'd say they will suggest just the one embryo. Good luck

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    Sharlee32  (19-02-2013)

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    di1981 please keep us posted on your bub, I hope you get your natural birth but I really just send you good thoughts of a beautiful and healthy baby (the very best outcome). I had the chicken pox vaccine done yesterday. My FS said I have to have that done first as I have no immunity to it and then 2 months from that we can do the IVF.


 

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