17mth-old won't eat anything but custard

[Fox in Sox]

OK, my Supergirl is driving me CRAZY at the moment with eating issues (or non-eating issues, I should say).

When she started solids, she was a champion eater, would eat anything, but became quite fussy when she was around 12 months old. There were still several things that she would eat though, and I could give her a reasonably varied, and reasonably nutritious diet, although not great.

She was quite sick through September and October, with two x two-week-long hospital stays with bronchiolitis, and since she's been out of hospital (four weeks now), she is REALLY, REALLY fussy. She will always eat Weet-bix for breakfast, sometimes followed by toast. But at the moment, that's the only decent meal I can get into her. When she refuses lunch (after I've offered things I know she likes, or always used to like), I generally give her a tin of custard, and lately, this has happened at both lunch and dinner time. Now I know that's not a great habit, but it was one formed when we were in hospital, and just wanting her to eat something. Custard was a good alternative, as it is fairly runny, and we were also having issues keeping her fluids up.

Now the obvious answer is this: she's still sick, right? But (and this is the really frustrating part) when she is at Child Care (three days a week), she eats really well. And eats stuff which she'd never eat for me at home, even before this latest episode.

So the problem I have now is this. When she refuses to eat, do I give her the custard, because surely it's better that she eat something? Or do I not offer it, in the hopes that she's just in the bad habit of refusing her main course knowing she'll get dessert, and if I don't offer the custard, she'll learn that she needs to eat the main course.

Any suggestions? Because this is making me I find it really stressful when she won't eat, particularly as I'm trying to get her better after a long illness, and I know she needs decent food to help her recover.

[NonnyMouse]

DS is like this sometimes and what I did was make up his "daycare" lunchbox the night before as I normally would, then offer him that instead of preparing food for him on the spot.

For some reason seeing the lunchbox come out made him eat it, even though it was same food I had been offering on a plate that he refused the day before.

[parentingrocks]

I sympathise with you. My daughter is a shocker.

BUT

I'd stop giving her the custard definately.

Clearly its behavioural because she eats well at child care - they obviously don't offer her custard and its working.

I found sanctuary in realising my DD loves sushi... very very often we go to local shops and buy freshly made sushi and she gobbles it all up.

Hopefully you can find something healthy you can fall back on, rather than custard.

Also start resoning with her, she sould be able to start understanding the concept of 'If you have 2 more spoons (of dinner) then you can have custard (only for dessert though not all day after each meal).

HTH

I really do sympathise.

Working out what to give my DD (21months) consumes my every thought. I am constantly thinking of the next meal and what I can offer her that she won't refuse and may have 1 or 2 bites of.

[onedayatatime]

My dd has been super fussy from the get go with food. We have had daily strain with this for about 9 months now.

I refuse to buy or offer sweet or salty foods. (aside from cheese). I just do not have them in the house as a choice. I figure that she hardly eats anything, so what she DOES eat, needs to be very good for her.

So I would stop the custard habit. You might be surprised what she eats when she actually feels hungry and there is no dessert on offer.

My 19 month old whoofed down avocado on wholemeal bread the other day when she had refused her breaky and morning tea. She ate two and a half rounds of these sandwiches. OMG. Call Guinness and have them put it in the book of records! And then get them to send me a free Guinness because I really deserve it after all the headaches I've had since dd was 10 months old.

Good news is, dd is still growing and looking healthy after all this. And her appetite has increased over time. I show little emotion or reaction when she gets fussy with food. It can easily become a game for them, especially at around 18 mnths.

But I really do understand your intense frustration and worry about this. I really, really do.

[Fox in Sox]

Thank you so much for your replies.


DS is like this sometimes and what I did was make up his "daycare" lunchbox the night before as I normally would, then offer him that instead of preparing food for him on the spot.

Thank you, that sounds like a really good idea, but unfortunately, I don't send any food to child care for her; they provide all the food.

Also start resoning with her, she sould be able to start understanding the concept of 'If you have 2 more spoons (of dinner) then you can have custard (only for dessert though not all day after each meal).
The tricky thing with this is that my daughter has Down syndrome, so I think her intellectual disabilty will limit her understanding of that, and I can't reason with her as well as I might with a typical 17-month-old.

I figure that she hardly eats anything, so what she DOES eat, needs to be very good for her.
A very good point.

I'm sure there must be something out there she'll eat, I just need to find it!

[jennibear]

ITS JUST A PHASE...DONT WORRY!!! My DS did the same thing at 18/19 months...she would only eat pasta, cheese, bread and noodles. The best piece of advice i ever got was..'serve her the family meal and relax. I she doesnt eat it she'll soon learn she goes hungry' I know this sounds kind of harsh but i know some mums who gave in and spend their entire days going back and forth to the cupboard or prepare 3 different meals at dinner time to accomodate a fussy toddler.
Shes just showing her independance...she'll get over it in a few weeks!!! Hang in there and relax...the dog will love the leftovers!! hehehe

[maliwoo]

Your job is to provide healthy food. Then she can eat it or not. If she then chooses not to eat it, oh well, she doesn't get dessert or anything else.
This approach has worked for us. My DD doesn't always eat everything in front of her, but she knows she isn't getting anything else as a fallback... and she usually has a pretty good go at what is put in front of her.
You are not a short order cook...
Good luck!

[BabelFish]

I wouldn't worry. It's quite normal and she'll move on from custard.

In our house that phase was a Weetbix and yoghurt phase. ALL DD would eat, seriously, for about a month, was Weetbix or yoghurt. And she was the same as your daughter - when she first started solids would eat anything and everything offered to her, with great gusto.

She's 27 months now and we've had some food battles but she's back to her normal self and will eat anything again (in great quantities!).

Children will not starve themselves unless they are unwell and as long as they're getting the food into them, and you are offering healthy choices as maliwoo said, it's not an issue.

It's also not a fight you can win so I would not bother and just keep offering. She won't get into any bad habits if you don't force her to eat a square meal, it's just a phase.