it's not something I'd wish on anyone it's a bit like post traumatic stress disorder than Pnd, for me at least, like flash back, anxiety attacks, I constantly constantly checked on him. The whole attachment parenting thing came for me because it was just easier to sleep with my hand on his chest, than having to check him every 30 minutes.
Therapy was great. I really liked group. I was so horribly nervous the first few times, I physically shook most of the time but it was so great. Even though nobody had had my experience to hear that other people had felt (or were feeling) what I was feeling made me feel so much better. Like lifted some the weight of also feeling like I should just be able to suck it up.
But there's positives. Like having had a bad sleeper who still wakes at night, I just need to remind myself I nearly lost him and I feel like what's another sleepless night to have my son alive with me. Every day is so precious.