I'm having one of 'those' days
DD is teething and she's kept me up all night the past 3 nights with a fever and being CONSTANTLY on the boob. If it's not in her mouth, she's screaming. All. Night. Long.
I was so bloody tired I slept through my alarm this morning, hence DS didn't go to school today
DD, usually being the happiest, most placid baby around, is clingy, grumpy, screaming on and off all day, refusing an panadol/teething relief/gel and is an utter nightmare to get to sleep.
Adding to that, after flea bombing the house a week ago and washing EVERY-DAMN-THING I found ANOTHER flea on her this morning, so have had to drag myself around, with a screaming baby in tow, to vacuum all the floors and rugs.
It just makes me so freaking furious at Poo-Head. HE is the one who f*cked up and he gets to walk away. He lives with his Mum now, where he has to only clean up after himself. he has more expendable income, he has no one to worry about but him self. But me, no. Even with the relief of knowing i don't have to put up with his Cr@p anymore, I still have to care for two young children alone, I'm solely responsible for keeping a roof over our heads and I'm already two weeks behind in the rent. He even left his F*cking animals here! (I love them dearly, but it's atm it's just two more mouths for me to feed and two more souls for me to worry about)
Everything seems so hard atm and I hate feeling like this. Yet again, some @ss-hole gets to walk away scott free and I'm left holding the baby. It just seems so freaking unfair to me. Even as I was typing this a debt collector rand me demanding I make payment on an energy bill. $500! When she told me that I would have to make repayments of $90 a f/n to pay it back in time I just burst into tears and started babbling about how I couldn't make my rent and I had to young children to take care of and my partner just left me because of domestic violence. In hindsight, it was probably the most sensible thing I've done all day as she was SO lovely about it and helped me organize a hardship letter so the company would let me pay off at my own pace. Not the sort of thing I really want to be doing though
Just not a good day at all