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  1. #851
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    Hi girls! Sorry been a bit quiet had a full on weekend...!

    So on Friday we received our donor information in the mail. It was DP birthday so I didn't make mention of it to him until last night as I didn't wasn't to spoil his birthday etc...

    Anyway I decided to tell him that we had received the mail and I said I had not opened it and when he was ready we would do it together after half an hour he said I'm interested to know what information they give you and told me to grab the mail. He opened it up and read the first page which was an introductory page then behind that was a list of 6 donors. I was quite surprised with lack of information actually they give you very very basic Information - age hair colour eye colour build height mother and fathers ancestry information which was just nationality. Then a information section regarding medical information, education, job description, interests and reasons for donating. Some of the profile lacked any information at all and only provided hair eye build job age height and nationally oh and skin colour also. We ruled out a few as certain skin eye or hair colour didn't fit we came to one that was the closest to but still has brown hair compared to black hair. DP he said what if we can't find a match I said we go back to the list again until more come through (I'm not sure but that's what I assume) i said to DP that more information should be made available like shape of face etc I thought I was going ok an then all of a sudden I just got this overwhelming feeling and burst into tears! It's not fair I said while DP grabbed my hand to console me, hun it will be ok he said, I said why....why did this happen he said it's just the cards I've been dealt I said I know with tears following down my face. (DP facial features are so gorgeous he is a good looker.) He said the only other thing that we could do is use his dad or adopt, DP knows our thoughts on using DP dad And I've told him I would consider adopting. I'm such a mixed bag of emotions today and I really don't want to be at work!!! I dunno girls I just feel so confused and guttered.....and it's really hit home 😔😢

  2. #852
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    @DererminedOne *hugs* Have you considered fertility counselling? Maybe that will help.

    You don't know maybe they will find sperm when they open him up.

    I think all the females have taken it harder and we all go through the .... why did this happen to us?. Men are more of a ... what is meant to happen will happen.

  3. #853
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    @Jadette: as i mentioned earlier, i think you have a pretty good case here. FS usually gives pretty high success rate for a case like yours with mTESE. Yes, I totally understand what your FS is coming from. You are not there yet.

    Because we have been on this journey for a very long time, DH said that there is no point of doing another round of mTESE, a) poor prognosis, the rate of finding sperm on the second round drops to 10%, b) you can't keep cutting, men still need them for producing hormones, c) false hope of using non viable sperms. The time to be a parent is now and not another year or two. We have tried it all and it didn't work (unfortunately) so we have to move on. I totally agree with MGCBertie. Y'all should read back the beginning of this thread. You will find that we all have come a long way. Accepting donor is not a day or two decision. When there is no other choice, donor/adoption becomes your next best choice of becoming a parent.

    @DeterminedOne: I'll send you a PM. I find it difficult to manage expectation of the donor list when you dont have a clinic donor counsellor who knows what they will be offering to give you a head up. I am surprised to hear that they don't have anyone with black hair!! I have the opposite problem! BTW, i don't think any clinic provide any info about the facial feature. The closest is providing a baby photo, which you can't really tell from it anyway. However, I did hear some QLD clinics provide adult picture.

    Just like you, i thought the wait is over. I also have a difficult time with the donor list. I am not even talking about non-importing clinics in Perth! WA doesn't allow importation anyway. I have gone extra efforts to look for a suitable donor but in the end I pretty much give up (for now). If you are willing to do interstate to find that donor, PM me, I'll give you all the info.
    Last edited by bbhope; 12-01-2015 at 13:45.

  4. #854
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    ^^ Yup, we got a baby pic and an adult pic from our Brisbane clinic. It's because the sperm comes from the US, and their donor agencies provide a lot more info than they do for Australian donors. It was good, as with the dude we picked, if you really stretched your imagination he kind of looked like DH's bro.. kind of.

    DH had a very hard time when it came to picking donors. None of them were good enough for him, and he did say to me more than once "why don't we just use my brother?". But realistically we knew that his brother probably wouldn't be keen, we didn't want any potential weirdness of everyone knowing BIL was the "real" father, and we didn't think BIL had the emotional maturity to deal with it either. I just wanted to go for the healthiest one with the best family history (a lack of potentially hereditary illnesses or conditions), but DH really wanted someone who looked like him. We ended up choosing the one with similar height and colouring to DH, and he happened to be my second choice based on health etc, so it worked out okay. And as it happens DS looks more like me/my side of the family anyway, so the physical stuff has become irrelevant. I know though that this won't necessarily be the case if we're lucky enough to have another baby.

  5. #855
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    Default Azoospermia

    I think that's only the xytex and not the other U.S. sperm bank which provides adult photo. Yes we did end up with the healthiest one. Actually, it is me who wanted the donor to have all dh physical characteristic. Dh ranks education/job and health more than the hair color because we can't control the genetic make up. We can't have it all. We didn't have any chance to rank them since we technically being presented one profile at a time. We didn't like anyone on the list so whenever one came online, that's the only candidate. Well I was disappointed for the lack of matching selections but I am glad to move on. FX it works out this round!!!!
    Last edited by bbhope; 17-01-2015 at 01:21.

  6. #856
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    Bbhope.... yes, I so hope it works for you this time too.

    DeterminedOne.... that's annoying that you were only given 6 donors to chose from. I must have missed your earlier post, but where are you getting your donor sperm from?

    AFM....after stressing myself to beyond nervousness, the bub was there plain to see on the scan. In fact, DH was so excited and kept babbling and babbling to the doctor, and eventually I had to tell him to be quiet for a while so the doctor could do his thing and take measurements. Quite clear to see the sac, the little fuzzy bean-shaped blob measured 15.33mm, and the heartbeat flickering away brightly. I asked the doctor what the heartbeat rate was, but he's just a temp (as my FS is away), but he said it's definitely over 100bpm as he could tell by how fast it was flickering. They're taking my EDD from 14 days before IUI, as opposed to day 1 of AF, so my adjusted EDD is now 27/8/15 and today makes 7w5d, even though on the scan bub is measuring 7w6d.

    I was expecting to cry, be emotional and had told DH he would need to hold my hand, but strangely I didn't feel like that at all - it was kind of like an out-of-body experience, rather weird. Very relieved and happy, to say the least, but I so wasn't expecting to feel sort of removed from it. I think it just still doesn't feel real :-)) Thanks everyone for thinking of me.

  7. #857
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    Oh MGC that's amazing news, congrats. I felt the same, btw; I had my first scan at 5w5d and was told it was unlikely we'd see a HB that early. But there was one, it was slow though so it had only just started, and I saw the sac, yolk sac and foetal pole straight away. But I didn't get emotional at all! I really thought I would, especially how nervous I was beforehand, but it was more interesting than anything else. Plus I wasn't convinced it would stick, so it was probably self-preservation detachment as well. The only happy tears I ever had all pregnancy was for a few seconds after I got my Harmony blood test results and found out that I was having a boy and that he was extremely low risk for chromosomal abnormalities. That was at 16 weeks! I'd had 6 scans prior to that and none of them had made me remotely emotional, lol.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Sariele For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (14-01-2015)

  9. #858
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    Default Azoospermia

    So so so happy for you. Bertie! It must be a relief to see that heart beat.

    AFM, keep jabbing. I hope no surprises at this point and everything is on schedule. We will know more later this week. Hope they will let me do the scan. Grrr. Because of one day delay for jabbing, they might have to delay the scan until Monday. And I am planning to fly out first and dh later. Still not yet buying a ticket! Might be cutting close for the epu date. Then, can't organize intralipid. So it better be on schedule and not super early or late.
    Last edited by bbhope; 14-01-2015 at 10:49.

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    MGC Bertie  (14-01-2015)

  11. #859
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    @MGC Bertie I've been following your story and I think I almost cried to see that you're pregnant! So very happy for you! Please keep us updated!

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    MGC Bertie  (14-01-2015)

  13. #860
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    Anyone remember their E2 level on first BT after few days injection?


 

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