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  1. #691
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malak View Post
    Thanks @bbhope. I have heard that the adoption waiting list is very long and we have to also wait until we have been married for 2 years or more. So we thought donor egg and donor sperm would be the better option (if no sperm is found).

    We are still ages away from things but I like to have all my ducks in a row ... if you know what I mean.
    Yes, we, women, always want to have options.

    I haven't looked into donor eggs option. But my counsellor told me (maybe to make me feel better?) that I should be happy that it isn't my eggs problem because finding donor eggs isn't an easy task in Australia.

    But of course, I hope you don't have to come down to this option!!!!! This is a darn hard journey and reality. It takes years to come to term with it. I don't feel like a closure but moving forward is the only way to make peace with it. It might be a time when I would call it quit but I am not there yet. And I wish I don't have to make that call.

  2. #692
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    I think you would never quite come to terms with it. Even with donor eggs, donor sperm and adoption maybe I part would always wonder what it would be like to be able to have a biological child.

  3. #693
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    That's right, Malak. BUT I want to believe that once the baby is born, I would be like all other warrior azoo women on here who left those pain behind and started the joy of parenthood. It is certainly true that your mind would be occupied with baby wellbeing (eating, pooping, breathing) rather than he/she is a donor conceived child.

  4. #694
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    Malak.... yes, Bbhope has pretty much answered all your questions, but I'll add a few things.

    There are women here in Australia who will donate eggs, but 99% of the time you have to go out and find them yourself (sister, friend or advertise). A few clinics have donor eggs on their books, but the waiting list is often more than two years long - my clinic IVFA does have a couple, but said it wasn't worth waiting. I looked into advertising (e.g. there's a website Egg Donation Australia that's very popular), but the deal in Australia is that most of the time you have to become friends with the donor first, and then many donors want contact with the baby (photos or even visits!), and I've been through enough emotionally that I can't do that. Going to SA (and other countries) is anonymous - you never meet the donor, and when it's done, it's all yours. Yes, very expensive, with no medicare or PHI rebates, but emotionally a different journey.

    Donor embryos are rarer still, though some places in the US only do this and not donor eggs. Yes, you can't then choose preferences - you put your name and profile down and the donor chooses you, and then you say yes or no, when you see their profile.

    In SA, you choose the donor egg lady from a number of "agencies". Then the clinic has both a local list and an imported list (from Xytex in the US) of donor sperm men to choose from.

    Yes, I've heard the adoption wait list is long, but I sat bolt upright the other night when on the TV came an ad saying that only 40 babies are adopted in Australia each year, but there's hundreds waiting to be adopted. That's the first I've heard of that, so maybe things are changing. But I was so shell-shocked about the ad that I couldn't remember what website they said to go to!!

  5. #695
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    Thanks @MGC Bertie. How much does it roughly cost for it to be done in SA? Minus the flights and accommodation. Flights are not too bad since my husband's family are over the way so we could see them too and make it a worthwhile trip.

    Do you have to stay in SA the entire time?

    Do you know what the waiting time is?

  6. #696
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    @MGC Bertie - I'm so so sorry to hear your news. How are you? Life is so unfair sometimes. And it appears we have it just that little bit harder...I'm sorry I haven't been online for a few days and have missed this important post. I hope you are being good to yourself. I think you have such incredible strength and its amazing that you are jumping back on the wagon and going for another option so soon - I guess that's what we women do. It's nice to always be progressing with something, ANTHING! As you know, I am only in early stages myself so I'm not an expert, and I sincerely hope I'm not talking out of line here, but I think you said you have been through 8 cycles of own eggs and four of donor eggs, perhaps it's not so much the eggs or the sperm, but more the internal environment. My sister-in-law is the same. She can produce eggs, but they don't take. Even though she has a little boy, she is second-degree infertility, where her body has basically shut down after the first baby was born. In some ways, it can be more upsetting as you have the baby paraphernalia all around you, but can't give your child a sibling. Also people don't pity them as much, but they say well at least you have one. It's very hard. Could you perhaps attempt to get your own eggs again and fertilise with DS, you could try a surrogate? Yes it's not the same as being pregnant, but you may result in a biological baby? If that doesn't work, then you know its both eggs and inside environment that are having the trouble for you. I wish you all the best - I wish I could just say have one of my embies, but I don't even know if they'll work on me yet. And we have an older DS so there are minor risks associated with that too. Ah, it's not easy. Please look after yourself. Thinking of you. x

    @bbhope thank you for your PM. I'll PM you back soon.x

    AFM, I'm two days away from my first pregnancy test. I honestly don't feel much different, and have absolutely no idea if this has worked. I'm actually starting to think it hasn't. I haven't had any bleeding though which I hear is a sign it hasn't taken, and I feel a bit of cramping, but apart from that nothing else. Maybe a bit of nausea, but I think it's more from anxiety and nervousness than anything else. anyway, two days to go and we'll know if this has all worked.

    @Malak where are you at? I've lost track of your stage I'm so sorry - have you booked in the TESA yet?

    @FemmeFatale how are you guys going too?

    x

  7. #697
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    Malak... to be honest I don't know how much it costs, as I'm only just starting to seriously research it now (I didn't want to bring bad karma on doing it before knowing if the last cycle had or hadn't worked). But I think it's about $6000, which is cheaper than Australia, but you don't get any medicare or PHI rebates. There is no waiting list at all, but it takes about 2-3 months to organise from initial enquiry. The only wait might be for your donor, if they are already booked first to donate to someone else. I believe that there's a couple of appointments before the donor's EPU (to check your lining etc), then DH's do their thing on the day of donor EPU (but ours won't, since we'll be using DS), and then 5 days free until the ET. Many women leave the next day for home.

    Jenni....yes DS didn't do the trick, DEs didn't do the trick, so I agree, it's my body. I do have immune issues (about 7 of them) and have had lots of immune drugs for the past 5 cycles, but I've only ever had the slightests of implantation, so I do think my body is just fighting it off. We have considered surrogacy, but I really never got many good eggs myself. We will still try young donor eggs, but then I really think adoption is going to be our final journey. DH is against adoption, but I'm hoping he'll come round.

  8. #698
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    @JenniwithanI - well.... we were meant to have the TESA this Thursday but the DR told us it could be done "anytime" but the secretary only told me last Friday that it was at 730AM *sigh*. The problem being that DH works tills 730AM and they had already done the roster and was too late to change. Because of Christmas and the DR only doing the TESA 2 days a month we have got it for 29th on January (hopefully). The secretary confirms with the hospital 4 days before. They better had not cancel or I will be livid!

    By the time the procedure comes around DH would have been on menevit for 2 rounds (6 months) so hopefully that will help him.

    I tell you sometimes you just can't stop but dream. The other day I was thinking maybe DH has sperm and he was stressed when did the SA and there really is some there. Yeah I know ... wishful thinking.
    @MGC Bertie - thanks for the information. It is always good to know where we are standing with things. I always like to have a back-up plan . May I ask why your DH doesn't want to do adoption? Like you I found it interesting see the ad on TV about shortage of adoption yet everyone is saying how long the wait is. DH and I have only been married just over 6 months so even if we want adoption it isn't something that we can consider at this stage. I guess on the bright side it will give us time to explore all the other options.

    Does anyone know if there is an age limit for the adopting parents?

  9. #699
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    @Malak: have your DH done two SA to confirm the diagnosis? If so, at least one done at the fertility clinic?

  10. #700
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    Quote Originally Posted by bbhope View Post
    @Malak: have your DH done two SA to confirm the diagnosis? If so, at least one done at the fertility clinic?
    He has done 2 but they were both done via the GP at QML (we even got instructions the 2nd time and followed them exactly!). We didn't have one done at the FS.

    I am sure they are correct since DH has very high FSH levels but sometimes you like to dream anyway.


 

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