@MGC Bertie ... OMG my heart breaks for you. It just isn't fair . Was this your last cycle? Where to from here for you? Adoption? Surrogacy?
Life just isn't fair!
MGC Bertie (21-11-2014)
Thanks everyone for thinking of me. It's been 8 cycles with my OEs and 4 cycles with my sister's DEs. We now plan to go (probably) to SA for young, donor eggs. In the meantime though, we'll do an IUI (with anon donor sperm!!), just for the sake we never did one, plus it will help time waiting organising SA!! So that means I have to choose a new donor, as the one I had allocated for my sister's eggs is for ISCI only. They sent me the password again, but for some reason it doesn't work here on my laptop, so later will have to see if it works on my regular computer.
@MGCBertie: I am glad that you have a back up plan. They told me IUI wait is 8 months! Clearly, they didn't make you wait that long, which is very good! I am not sure if they are trying to discourage people to do IUI by giving such a shocking waiting time. IVF and ICSI are better for the business. Good luck for the selection. I am still waiting to get on top of the list!
Please forgive me if i come across rude. I don't know how old your sister is. With all the blasts that you got from her eggs and none of them work (very sad!), why do you think going to SA and more DE would work? Have you consider surrogacy with donated embie? I'll PM you some details....
MGC Bertie (22-11-2014)
Bbhope... wow, I can't see why there would be any wait for IUI??? It's no different than finishing one IVF cycle, and going and doing the next one. That was never mentioned to me. As to the donor sperm list, I've been with them for more than two years, and have waited the 4 month period twice now to get to the top of the list, so perhaps that's why this third time, they let me have access with just a month's notice.
Yes, my sister is 39 years old, so we definitely knew that would be pushing it, but she had good AMH, and produced 9 eggs, 8 fertilised, 1 blast fresh and 3 frosties, with 100% successful thaw rate, so really all good. But we will try younger eggs now, as so many people say that younger eggs can do it.
I prefer the idea of picking donor eggs and donor sperm (and getting closer matches on both of us), rather than using donor embryos, but it's something certainly I'm looking into now. I did consider surrogacy, but kind of think that if we use donor eggs and donor sperm in a surrogate, then we might as well go down the adoption route, since I wouldn't even be having the joy of being pregnant.
@MGCBertie I am so glad there are still other options for you . Being new at all this what is the difference between donor eggs and donor embryos? Also my next question is why do people go to SA for donor eggs and not do it in Australia? Also if you do donor eggs in SA can you also do donor sperm there too or do you bring that from Australia?
Sorry for all the questions but donor eggs and donor sperm os something we will consider if they don't find any in DH. He won't do donor sperm but will do it if we use donor eggs too (because it is like adoption except you carry the baby).
I have read a little bit on the SA thread and I know people go there for 2 weeks. Do you need to stay there for 2 weeks or can you go visit another country and come back?
Malak: I'll let Bertie to add in from what I don't know. Donor embryos usually comes from previous IVF patients who have completed their family and have left over of embryos in the freezer. Instead of dumping them, they are generous enough to donate them to other couples. However, the process is that recipient can't choose but the donors will be in control to decide who they want the embryo goes to. This can be a lengthly process. I am not sure about the following statement. As far as I heard, only those will legitimate reason can sign up for getting donor embryo, such as pre-mature menopause and the male partner is also infertile (low count etc).
My understanding is that it isn't easy to get donor eggs here in Australia. Imagine one has to go through all the needles, drug, stress and hospital procedure to donate. I would do it for my siblings. And because i have gone through this infertility journey and do not wish it for someone, I might be willing to do it for a stranger. But in real life, how many normal fertile women would go through all of these to help a stranger?
Donating sperms is a lot easier as you know man can just walk in and out of the clinic. Certainly, they have to go through pyschological assessment, health check etc. But compare to what a woman has to go through to donate, it is less of a hassle.
People go to SA because there is no law prevent SA women donating their eggs for money. It is also anonymous there. SA isn't the only option but it seems easier somehow.
Adoption is a long process in australia as well. I was told that one has to go through all the adoption workshops, stop the fertility treatment and then sit and wait. The bio parents choose the recipient. You don't get to choose. In the process of donor eggs and sperms, you get to choose.
Last edited by bbhope; 22-11-2014 at 23:29.
Thanks @bbhope. I have heard that the adoption waiting list is very long and we have to also wait until we have been married for 2 years or more. So we thought donor egg and donor sperm would be the better option (if no sperm is found).
We are still ages away from things but I like to have all my ducks in a row ... if you know what I mean.
@MGCBertie: yes, 8 months waiting time is listed for IUI in the confirmation email that they sent me. I am not jealous that you get to see the list straight away. In fact, I am really happy for you that you can move on straight away. I am sick of waiting. After all it has been a LONG journey for us azoo gals. The only thing that's preventing me from moving forward now is get on with the list and finding a match.
I hope that the younger eggs will do the magic for you. xx
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