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  1. #561
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    @JenniwithanI: enjoy your vacation! Now, I am saving all my annual leaves for possible future interstate IVF. No vacation for a while.... Oh...they usually do betaHCG on 16dpo (or 11dp5dt). When it was inconclusive (due to hcg support shot few days before it), they made me repeat and the number didn't double. I was always on progesterone pessaries so I wouldn't have period until I stopped. So blood test is the only way to find out.

    Well, not sure where we are at in term of donor. Some days we are so positive about it all -- thinking what we would like the kid to learn etc. Some days he just has a lot of ridiculous social concerns -- questions that I didn't even think of! I suggested him to see the counselor with me but he refused unless it is a legal requirement. I think deep down he is still feeling ashame of it all and doesn't want anyone to know.

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    MGC Bertie  (07-09-2014)

  3. #562
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    Quote Originally Posted by bbhope View Post
    I suggested him to see the counselor with me but he refused unless it is a legal requirement. I think deep down he is still feeling ashame of it all and doesn't want anyone to know.
    It was certainly a legal requirement in Queensland (not sure about other states). Even if it isn't where you are, I wouldn't go into it without seeing a counsellor. I am completely happy with our decision, however the counselling made me consider all sorts of things I didn't think of before.

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    MGC Bertie  (07-09-2014)

  5. #563
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Nette View Post
    It was certainly a legal requirement in Queensland (not sure about other states). Even if it isn't where you are, I wouldn't go into it without seeing a counsellor. I am completely happy with our decision, however the counselling made me consider all sorts of things I didn't think of before.
    We already did one in WA (legal requirement). We will have to do another one in NSW. I really like the one in WA. That's why i want DH to go back for one more session. Well, i am not sure how useful it would be for him as he won't ask those silly questions for sure!

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    @MGC Bertie – I am based in Brisbane. I believe that there is someone that does the M-Tese in Brisbane, but not 100% sure. I really hope like anything that the find some sperm. Is there anyone that has had NOA where they go on to find sperm and they have had biological children or is OA our only chance for that? BBHope has been kind enough to answer a lot of my questions via PM J. I see that you are on your 9th cycle of IVF. How do you do it? It is must be very emotional and hard financially.

    @bbhope – thanks for your kind wishes again J. Yes we are in Brisbane.

    @JenniwithanI – I am really struggling with it. I have only talked about it with 1 friend at work. I am a pretty private person and don’t like people talking about me which is what I fear would happen if I told people. Sometimes I feel that I just want to tell my mum but I can’t as I don’t want the pitty from them, especially my sister-in-law’s who both have 2 kids of their own. We were in shock like zero sperm never in a million years did we expect that, we thought worse was that it would be low but really I thought that it would be me because I have a small cervix. Did you find out what caused it in your DH? The thing that I can’t get over is that his brother is fine but he is not … I am like how?

    My DH will not do donor sperm I know that for a fact even if I changed my mind and decided I wanted to do it. For him he said it would be like I had sex with another man and am having his child. So our options pretty much are they find sperm or we are childless. We MAY have a chance at adoption but I do not like my chances because you need to have been married or de facto for minimum 2 years and we have only been married about 6 months and also I am 36 so age is not on my side for it.

    I must say that today was sooooo hard being father’s day because my nieces and nephew were at my parents house and before we went I was hoping so much that they would not be there. I just wanted to take my 1 month old niece home with me. I felt emotional when my sister-in-law told me that her brother and sister-in-law were expecting next year. I wonder will I ever get over the jealous thing, I just help but wish that it was me that was pregnant. Then my other sister-in-law was talking about kid routines and part of me just wanted to tell her to be quiet about kids things – it was just all so hard.

    So sorry for the rant.

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    MGC Bertie  (07-09-2014)

  8. #565
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    Malak.... unfortunately BBhope and I are on a couple of these "azoospermia" threads, and unfortunately, as much as we were given a "good chance" by Dr Golovsky, there hasn't been any success stories on Bubhub from NOA. I'm sure they're out there, but nothing on here to talk to. So, let's hope your DH is obstructive.

    This is actually my 11th cycle - a combination of my OE cycles, my sister's egg cycle and now FETs (which cost a silly amount of money, hence why they get counted too!!) Emotionally I have howled and howled (for the first two years, this third year I've just had little cries but nothing like the first two years) and financially we've spent more than $65,000 OOP now - my DH is an accountant and the money worries him more than anything, so I look after that so he doesn't have to stress about it.

    I so know what your DH means about the idea of donor sperm, being like having sex with another man. I actually felt that at the beginning when we first had to discuss donor sperm, and that's one of the main reasons why we choose to use anonymous donor sperm from a sperm bank. We went through all the eligible men that DH and I knew, some we couldn't ask, some DH refused to even entertain (he wouldn't tell me why) and others I was weirded out to think about having their sperm in me. The anonymous donor sperm route was the only way, and both DH and I are happy about that. We never have to look the person in the face, never have to think the baby looks like that person etc.

    My DH doesn't have any brothers, but all his male relatives are fine and have kids, and his sister has three kids, so obviously no problem there. There's just no real explanation, even after all the testing and all the specialist appointments. Mumps was ruled out. DH thinks it's perhaps that he'd had steroids given to him after a serious leg injury as a teenager, though the FS said no to that. In DH's mind he needed an explanation, so we go with that.

    Feel free to rant here, that's what this is all about.

  9. #566
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malak View Post
    @JenniwithanI – I am really struggling with it. I have only talked about it with 1 friend at work. I am a pretty private person and don’t like people talking about me which is what I fear would happen if I told people. Sometimes I feel that I just want to tell my mum but I can’t as I don’t want the pitty from them, especially my sister-in-law’s who both have 2 kids of their own. We were in shock like zero sperm never in a million years did we expect that, we thought worse was that it would be low but really I thought that it would be me because I have a small cervix. Did you find out what caused it in your DH? The thing that I can’t get over is that his brother is fine but he is not … I am like how?
    Sorry, Jenniwithanl, a bit impolite to answer the questions that are directed to you. Hope you don't mind.

    As mentioned in her post above, her DH has maturation arrest. My DH and MGCBertie's have this diagnosis as well, although mine has a medical condition (mentioned in PM) at young age to cause the problem.

    Women tend to think that we have the problem. Perhaps that is our nature. I also ran through tests before asking DH for SA.

    Some people with azoospermia have identified genetic problem, eg, chromosome microdeletion. Just like Jenniwithanl said, in the case of maturation arrest, it is some sort of genetic misfired at the time of conception. Scientists don't know which part of the chromosome that causes this and why it happens to some people. I have read amazing work that's done at the Turek clinic in the US -- making sperms from stem cells. Unfortunately, while some stem cells create early sperms, some of them also turn into cancer cells.

    Quote Originally Posted by Malak View Post
    My DH will not do donor sperm I know that for a fact even if I changed my mind and decided I wanted to do it. For him he said it would be like I had sex with another man and am having his child. So our options pretty much are they find sperm or we are childless. We MAY have a chance at adoption but I do not like my chances because you need to have been married or de facto for minimum 2 years and we have only been married about 6 months and also I am 36 so age is not on my side for it.
    Here is what my counselor said to us (rephrased in my own words). Then, it depends how you want to look at it. If you know about IVF, there is nothing sexy about it with all with the needles and meds. It is nothing like having that little fun in bed with another man. Everything is created in the lab dish through a clinic legally after going through all the pain physically and emotionally.

  10. #567
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    Quote Originally Posted by MGC Bertie View Post
    Malak.... unfortunately BBhope and I are on a couple of these "azoospermia" threads, and unfortunately, as much as we were given a "good chance" by Dr Golovsky, there hasn't been any success stories on Bubhub from NOA. I'm sure they're out there, but nothing on here to talk to. So, let's hope your DH is obstructive.
    I know one with NOA success (live birth) with Dr. Lok but her DH case is quite positive as well. They are also extremely lucky. I am the only to get as far as finding sperms in the lab (not at the operating theater). No doubt very lucky to have only 2 fertilised and both grew to day 5. Unfortunately, no live birth. The live birth statistic that I quoted above is from IVFA. So yes, there are good outcome out there, just not on bubhub. It really depends on the diagnosis.

    It is up to us to decide if we want to consult/ask Dr. G again for another round of mTESE. Given the poor prognosis, the pain DH went through, and false hope, we are not doing mTESE again. It has been dragging on for so many years with tears. The time of being a parent is now not another year or two.
    Last edited by bbhope; 07-09-2014 at 20:49.

  11. #568
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    Hi @Malak. Instead of repeating my story, here is a link to bubhub blog. The Miracle Birth of Hannah

    While I can understand your DH's reluctance to use donor, I wouldn't discount is so easily. While it is certainly never anyones first choice as a way to have a baby, it was for me a better option then spending my life without a child.

    In answer to your question about success. We did find sperm during a TESA and ended up with 3 embryos (I think, it was a long time ago), however the sperm quality just wasn't good and therefore neither were the embryos.

    Good luck with where ever this journey takes you.

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    MGC Bertie  (08-09-2014)

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    @MGC Bertie – wow! 11th cycle, I have my fingers and toes crossed that you get your BFP this cycle J. I have my fingers crossed that it is OA. I guess I know more after Thursday’s appointment and also when they do the blood test, though I am wondering if they will be able to tell when they feel his man parts? I know how your DH feels. I am one of those people too that just want to have answers why something happens. “Sorry we don’t know” just doesn’t sit well with me. I am an Accountant too so I know exactly how your DH feels with the money aspect of things. The thing I am thinking of is that it is an investment in our child’s future.

    @bbhope – just to see if I understand things correctly. Maturation arrest is to do with the Y chromosome not being correct and this is found in the blood test?

    @DJ Nette – Thanks J. I know that DH will never change his mind about donor sperm. He feels bad that be may not be able to give me a child and even said that I could leave him and find someone who can give me a child L

    I was thinking today that wouldn’t it be great if the government could give more financial support for those that need to go through IVF. It isn’t our choice to have to go through it. If we could all have children naturally we would.
    I bought DH pumpkins seeds and zinc supplement today to see if that can helps him. Basically, I am willing to do anything at this stage.

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    MGC Bertie  (08-09-2014)

  15. #570
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    Malak.... if your DH isn't already on them you need to buy Menevit (yes, a men's version of Elevit), as well as COQ10. The FS will run a barrage of BTs for him, including Vit D, so there may be a few more tablets to take. As he's already done sperm samples (ejaculates), just feeling the bits won't do it, so you can count on the FS scheduling an aspiration for him :-)

    And yes, instead of the government clamping down and cutting out the subsidies, I agree, the more you put in, then the more you should get back. As bad as it is for anyone to have to go through IVF (emotional, financial, psychological), I do sometimes catch myself thinking how lucky those are who have only had to do one or two cycles. I guess it's all relative to ones situation (hence why "normal" people complain when they get morning sickness.... they know nothing!!)


 

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