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  1. #551
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    I have been meaning to reply, but my life is rather hectic at the moment. DD has just turned one, I'm back at work and we are renovating.

    On a day to day basis the thoughts of donor just don't enter my head. DD is our daughter and I'm pleased to say all the agonising of the previous 8 years is now a memory.

    Of course when DD is old enough to understand and starts asking more questions things might be a little different. But I honestly don't think it will be a big deal.

    Make sure you see a counsellor (which I think is mandatory anyway) and ask all the silly questions in the world.

    I can't imagine life without DD, it is the best decision we ever made (even though it is one that no-one should have to make).

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to DJ Nette For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (25-08-2014)

  3. #552
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    DJ Nette... thanks for your "after birth" perspective - I think I really needed that. I've personally seen three IVF counsellors, have done all these types of questions, I know all the answers to these questions, but some stuff is still there. I know that I'll be like you once a baby is in my arms, but it's still hard at this point to imagine it properly. Well I guess, it's really hard at this moment to actually imagine getting pregnant, so I guess we'll just take one step at a time.

  4. #553
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    @DJNette: i might go through the agonising phase at some point. Yes, it would come time feeling sad about it. But I am sure that the baby will be loved no matter what. My main concern is DH. And I haven't heard much about how your ladies DH handles it. My DH has come to term about his infertility from the day of our miscarriage. But just doesn't feel right morally to accept the donor. So many social complications. To some degrees, I am more worried about his welfare than the child. By telling the child at young age, one literally announces to friends that your r infertile without even having to say a word. (Kids play together and they talk if u know what I mean. ) I think being diagnosed as azoo is already a shock and admit to your friend that you cant father a child is even worse for the men ego. I am curious about men side of the story.

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    MGC Bertie  (26-08-2014)

  6. #554
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    My DH was shocked and angry to discover that he had azoo. Even after all this time I think he is still pretty angry with the world about it and I don't think he has every accepted it as such. However I don't think he has ever thought about it as being less of a man (certainly it was not one of the issues we have ever discussed).

    Many of our friends and family know our story and we have never had anything but support. It is a medical condition and doesn't reflect on DH as a person.

    DH was also always saying 'sorry' to me when ever I had to give the needles or have surgery etc, because I had to suffer for 'his' problem.

  7. #555
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    DH likes to keep things to himself so it is very difficult for him to admit to the world that he can't father a child. I don't think our close friends would judge but we do feel that it is such a private matter. If we haven't had enough pressure of raising the child in a different way if you know what i mean. Besides, what I have found throughout this IVF journey is that friends who haven't gone through it all just couldn't understand what we choose what we do. There are a lot of social implications that we need to think ahead. I guess that's the reason he doesn't feel right and feel selfish. (Gosh, even with our bio child, DH had to think it through before we TTC! Perhaps there are few irresponsible parents in the family that made him think twice about it all). Don't get me wrong. I can only imagine him as a good dad.

    One question is always being asked. Does the baby feel no connection to DH at all because of not genetically related? I know the answer would be no. But haven't heard anyone in real life to say that to us.

  8. #556
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    When I see our baby's face light up with a smile when DH walks through the door after work, the fact that he doesn't have DH's genes is the furthest thing from my mind. <3 And so far, at 6 months of age, there is no indiction at all that DH has had any trouble bonding with our son.

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    DJ Nette  (06-09-2014),MGC Bertie  (31-08-2014)

  10. #557
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    Hi
    I am new to this thread. DH has had 2 sperm samples come back with zero sperm in sample. The GP has referred us to a FS which we are lucky enough to get in to see on Thursday .

    As everyone would know DH and I are taking the results hard. Never in a million years did we expect this result to come back, we thought maybe low sperm count at the worst, but never no sperm at all.

    DH had mumps a few years ago but the GP felt his balls and said that they feel normal, so not sure if that is the issue or not.

    My biggest concern is about them finding some sperm for us because we don't want to use a sperm donor so them finding DH sperm is our only shot of having a biological child.

  11. #558
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    Hi Malak.... really sorry that you've had to come and join us here, but hopefully we can provide you with a few words of wisdom or support along the way.

    There are two main types of azoospermia:
    - obstructive - e.g. plenty of sperm in there, just doesn't get out through ejaculate - highly successful to get this sperm for IVF / ICSI
    - non-obstructive - just no or little sperm, mostly undiagnosed reasons, not successful at all.
    You want to the first type!! Unfortunately, many of us on this thread, including my DH, have the second type :-(

    There are three things to find sperm surgically, and in order from less invasive:
    - aspiration - (local anaesthetic) thin needle, draw small sample of semen
    - biopsy - (local anaesthetic) also thinish needle, but takes a bigger sample, including some of the tissue
    - micro-tese (general anaesthetic) - highly invasive, cut open the whole of the testes, peel back the layers to search the tubules for any sperm - only two doctors in Sydney do this - Dr Golovsky and Dr Lok (extremely expensive, requires a whole week off work for DH afterwards, and another 2-3 weeks with little physical activity)

    Are you in Sydney or another city?

  12. #559
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    @mgcbertie: I was waiting you to reply. hope TWW is going well so far.

    I gave malak a brief run down with PM. She is in QLD. Brisbane, i believe from her profile. I think there are micro-surgeon up that way as I remember MissJude or nett had done that.
    @Malak: again, sorry to hear that you have to join this exclusive club. I sincerely hope they find your DH to be in the obstructive case.

    For everyone info, apparently the live birth rate is lower than quoted on the Cornell urology website. Only counted those with sperms found via mTESE, the live birth rate is 30% in contrast to 50% as reported previously. That's very low just thinking how many hoops we have to jump through with the mTESE. So ya, we fell into that 70%.

  13. #560
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    Bbhope - I am only just reconnecting as I'm currently overseas on our holiday before we commence IVF and MTESE. Firstly I am so so sorry to read your news. I have felt so pained for you reading your thread and I am
    sad it didn't work for you and your embie. Especially when it thawed and showed such promise. May I ask did you just have a period or were you told it wasn't successful? Regardless it just makes me feel like it's my turn to support you on the donor journey since my DH and I have been accepting of this as our only path for six months now. Just know I am thinking of you and if you need anything I am here.

    Malak - I was in your position almost 12 months ago when I found the Azoo girls. I was precisely where you are - terrified, confused, upset, angry and worried about the future. But time and a hell of a lot of talking with DH, our parents, my brother and my best friend not to mention the specialists and getting into Melbourne IVF has brought us to our next stage. MTESE procedure in November with back up known donor. We are ok with it and laugh about it, cry about and talk about it. No matter what it's the hardest thing we have gone through - and I lost my dad three weeks before our wedding. But we are being brave and accepting what is ahead of us and there is a lot that can be attempted, ruled in or ruled our. My DH had all normal symptoms so it was a massive shock to find he had zero sperm. Nothing is to blame but a DNA misfire in his production in the womb. We have been through the biopsy which proved unsuccessful and we have mTESE booked in for November 11 (Remembrance day) but have been given a 1% chance. We have a new surgeon from Cornell performing it but have a donor as a back up. I will do the IVF simulation and attempt to get eggs which hopefully will be fine and attempt to find sperm. If not use the donor. We have many counselling sessions but are ok about it. We have full support of family and are actually excited about it after all the pain.

    I am here as are all the girls if you need. This thread has saved me (and my DH) in our darkest hours.

    To the girls with donor bubs - so excited to hear your DH's have taken to parenthood so beautifully. Gives me great hope.

    Take care,

    JenniwithanI

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JenniwithanI For This Useful Post:

    bbhope  (07-09-2014),MGC Bertie  (07-09-2014)


 

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