Closed Thread
Page 49 of 109 FirstFirst ... 3947484950515999 ... LastLast
Results 481 to 490 of 1081
  1. #481
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,842
    Thanks
    5,273
    Thanked
    1,372
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    JenniwithanI.... we haven't told anyone except our immediate families, and one set of DH's cousins, who flat out asked about doing IVF. Dh and I had decided that we wouldn't tell anybody else, as for most of this journey we haven't known what we're doing, what to expect etc etc, and things have changed so much. We decided we would tell anyone who actually asks, but apart from that one cousin, no-one (e.g. work, friends etc) have asked - I think most people have more tack than putting others in a difficult position to ask tricky baby questions. I may have told people, but DH and I had this conversation early on (and then throughout) and he was against telling people, so I was happy with that.

    I know that eventually when I do tell friends etc that they will be very annoyed that I didn't tell them, but it's me who's had this anguish (understatement there!!) and any of their problems absolutely pales in significance - it will be about me, not them. It's a little harsh, but I think we need to put ourselves first.

    I've tried to get my DH to join and post on here, but he won't - he likes to ebay sightsee instead!! I just make sure that I'm always reading things out from here to him, and he seems happy to know what everyone's thoughts and experiences are.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to MGC Bertie For This Useful Post:

    JenniwithanI  (30-04-2014)

  3. #482
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    261
    Thanks
    249
    Thanked
    106
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks MGC Bertie - I am glad I asked, because I've been a bit conflicted about the whole - do I tell or don't tell. I agonised over whether to tell my two best girlfriends, but I am glad I did. Like you - it was only because they flat out asked what was happening and I'd fobbed my way around it for six months. Other friends haven't asked at all, so like you we have decided not to say anything at all.

    As for involving my hubby - I really don't think he will get on this, but reading him the threads and involving him - even sending him screen shots has been a way of involving him and providing support. I am happy to hear you are also doing this.

    You're absolutely right about it being our issue - I sometimes forget how big a challenge this is, praying for that miracle.... until I get my period again and it's a reminder that this is much bigger than us. I haven't even been given the chance to become pregnant yet - haven't even got out of the starting blocks and that's very hard.

    Thanks so much for your advice.

    BBhope - I made some adjustments to my settings and have added you as a contact, but my inbox is still not accessible. Maybe after this post it will be.

    Thanks ladies.

  4. #483
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked
    1,179
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Jenniwithanl: I have the reply typed but I'll wait until I can PM you. I think you set the email feature available not private message. PM usually available once you have enough posts on the forum. Perhaps post few more (even one line) on this thread to activate it? Sorry for being a pain but some stuff can't make it to public.
    Last edited by bbhope; 30-04-2014 at 16:19.

  5. #484
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,842
    Thanks
    5,273
    Thanked
    1,372
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    JenniwithanI.... I so know how you feel about "not even been given the chance to become pregnant". I've had 8 full IVF stim cycles, produced 21 mature eggs in total, of which only 10 fertilised, and have had just 5 transfers. All results were BFNs, not a slightest hint of a BFP. It's bizarre how many times I've wished I'd just get a BFP and if it ended in a chem or MC, then so be it. Not what people want, but I haven't even had that elusive first BFP yet. Fingers crossed my sister's eggs pull me over the line, then I can blame my old eggs, rather than my old body :-)

  6. #485
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked
    1,179
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Jenniwithanl, i will just say part of it here.

    It sounded like your DH is communicating with you and expresses his feeling, which is good. My DH doesnt usually express his feeling so it makes things worse in this infertility journey. He doesnt allow me to talk to any friend or family about it. Thats because he feels this matter is extremely private. He knows that i talk on the forum and he doesnt oppose as it is considered anonymously. But i have met two other ladies on the perth ivf forum recently. Hubby was a bit upset as it is supposed to be anonymous. I was told that i protect him too much so there is nothing wrong to watch up for myself for once and reach out. Women just handle things differently and it helps to have people who actually understand the problem.

    I dont have many friends here in perth as i moved here just few years ago. All of my regular hang out girlfriends are pregnant (one of them just gave birth). It has taken a toll on me. I know that it is sooner or later but it is difficult as we started trying long before any of them thinking about babies. When one of them announced the news last year, i finally decided to tell her that we have problem. Nothing specific but i feel relieved as i cant just avoid them forever. She doesnt understand the problem but at least she knows better for not talking about baby stuff from the start of the hang out to the end. I am not yet ready to tell the other ones so have been signing up myself for non stop business trip since Jan to get away of going out with them. I know that one of them is eager to tell me all but i am just not ready. You ladies understand. It is not that i am jealous or not happy for them but feel extremely sad for myself.

    My parents know after the fact. Thats because i havent been home visiting for more than a year and they started to get upset. Unfortunately, they are very insensitive and are trying to help in a bad way (by telling me what to do etc) so it only makes things worse. I have been avoiding to call home since. DH wont tell his family but i think it is necessary when we choose to go down the donor path. I am trying to take it one day at a time. I need to try getting better mentally.

    Hubby refused to see the counselor with me so forget about talking on the forum. We are migrants and he has no friend who he can hang out and chat to.
    Sent from my GT-P7510 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Last edited by bbhope; 02-05-2014 at 07:46.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to bbhope For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (03-05-2014)

  8. #486
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked
    1,179
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Bertie, i really hope that your sister eggs pull it through for you. You are determined. I dont even know if i would proceed with the donor if it turns out needing extensive treatment flying east frequently for the auto immune problem.

    Yes i was blessed to fall pregnant once. However, it has been 5 months and i havent recovered mentally from the loss. Every unsuccessful attempt is a pain.....

    Sent from my GT-P7510 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. #487
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    261
    Thanks
    249
    Thanked
    106
    Reviews
    0
    Hi BBhope,

    Thank you so much for opening up about your situation. I genuinely think being able to talk about it, no matter how hard for your DH, it is important to. I think if my DH didn't have the support of his parents and my mum it would be even worse, so I can't imagine how dark and lonely it must feel for you and for him. I would think him getting some support for his parents even over the phone would be invaluable. I also think getting counselling is critical because first and foremost you have to work on each other. My DH and I have had some up and down weeks and at the moment appear to be up, but I really do have to pick the timing on raising the "elephant in the room". As for telling people, like I said I have only told my immediate family, my boss at work who happened to catch me on a bad day, and my two best friends. It does feel nice to have that support, even though we don't always talk about it, I know they are thinking about us.

    I know exactly how it feels to have friends having babies - I have five girlfriends all due in the next to months - the idea was that last year we decided to try together and they are all pregnant and we're not. They have stopped asking how are we going, because I just keep saying - still going - and smile and leave it at that. One of them though I have to admit I have avoided because she's closer to me than the others and will see through it, but I don't want to tell everyone and then have the challenge of dealing with the moral challenges if we end up with donor.

    We are meeting with a counsellor to start the donor discussions in two weeks - best to start thinking about that, as well as hoping to get with a new microsurgeon who has come back from Cornell in the US where he was studying. Dr G has recommended we stay in Melbourne for the next procedure for ease of the IVF process as well. This guy is unproven so until we meet him, but comes highly recommended by Dr G. Hopefully he'll connect with my DH - because he has lost confidence after having been told he was normal and it was going to be OA and there would be plenty there, to being told that found nothing and infact he was NOA due to Germ Cell Arrest. He still blames them for getting it wrong. That's perhaps the biggest challenge we are over-coming right now. So hopefully this new Urologist will be the person we need to take us through the mTESE and/or donor procedure. We'll see.

    Anyway thank you sharing MCG Bertie and BBhope. Appreciate it ladies.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JenniwithanI For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (05-05-2014)

  11. #488
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,842
    Thanks
    5,273
    Thanked
    1,372
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    JenniwithanI... you're more than welcome. That's what we're all on here for, support and advice. So many people have helped me on here in the past couple of years, not just with information, but emotional support and I really can't thank them all enough, so I'm more than happy to pass on things I've learned along the way, and hope it makes it easier for others. AFM.... my sister's EPU went really well this morning. She got 10 eggs, and later in the day found out that 9 of them were mature, which we're over-the-moon about. They looked at my DH's sperm sample, but as always, nothing there, so used the anonymous donor sperm that we'd chosen. Now just have to wait until the morning to find out how many fertilise. I so hope the DS is good and does what it needs to, especially since my sister did such a good job producing nice little eggies :-)) I guess out of our hands now.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to MGC Bertie For This Useful Post:

    JenniwithanI  (12-05-2014)

  13. #489
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked
    1,179
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Wow. Bertie, that's good number!!! FX that many fertilize!

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to bbhope For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (10-05-2014)

  15. #490
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,842
    Thanks
    5,273
    Thanked
    1,372
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Bbhope... thanks for that. AFM... fertilisation overnight was 8 out of the 9 mature eggs!!! We are all so over-the-moon about such great numbers. We've never had numbers like this with my eggs, in fact we didn't get much more than that over 8 full stim cycles! I'm feeling rather excited about it all now. Of course a little worried that my body is going to let it all down, and so hope that the intrallipids and other meds for NKCs work their magic this time. Anyhow, there's nothing more I can do, so just have to wait it out. We'll find out on Mon (day 3) what the embryos are doing, and then look for transfer on Wed (day 5). Thanks everyone for thinking about me and all your good wishes.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Azoospermia advice
    By OptimisticAussie in forum Male Infertility Issues
    Replies: 101
    Last Post: 03-12-2016, 06:58
  2. Azoospermia - no sperm
    By littlesunflowers in forum Male Infertility Issues
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 27-08-2016, 04:46

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Be In Blossom
We offer physiotherapy run pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy Aerobics, and Mummy Pilates & Baby Massage classes with a focus on optimising posture, body awareness, pelvic floor support, back care and maintaining fitness, aiming to assist women prepare and recover from their birth.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!