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  1. #351
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    Bbhope you are where we were nearly a year ago. I know exactly the feelings your are going through x. I was on synerol and the pill started late January, had the surgery February 15th. Are you going through the city clinic? If so the nurses there are lovely.

    It's so nerve racking not knowing what the outcome of the surgery will be, how you will cope, how your DH will cope, what the results will do to your lives. I can tell you we felt enormous relief after it even though they didn't find anything. We could close that chapter of our lives and move on. Everything happens for a reason. It's made me see what an amazing husband I have. He has handled the news with such courage. I'm sure your DH will be the same x

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  3. #352
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    bbhope I totally agree with what two souls said regarding the outcome mtese. My hubby's result was zero sperm found. That left no question or doubt in our minds about whether there was something else we could do to improve sperm quality, numbers etc. It has allowed us to move on with our lives feeling confident in our choices. Not to say it wasn't utterly heartbreaking but we got through it.

    I am not sure how I managed to go to work and cope with daily life in the lead up to the surgery. Having to act normal with mtese on the horizon was incredibly difficult and I was very emotional. I had a couple of sick days when I just couldn't cope.

    I'm glad you don't have to wait too much longer. In some crazy way I feel like this was meant to happen to my partner and I because it has bought us so much closer together. I hope that, whichever way it goes for you, that you will find comfort in each other too. xx

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  5. #353
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    Quote Originally Posted by two souls View Post
    Bbhope you are where we were nearly a year ago. I know exactly the feelings your are going through x. I was on synerol and the pill started late January, had the surgery February 15th. Are you going through the city clinic? If so the nurses there are lovely.

    It's so nerve racking not knowing what the outcome of the surgery will be, how you will cope, how your DH will cope, what the results will do to your lives. I can tell you we felt enormous relief after it even though they didn't find anything. We could close that chapter of our lives and move on. Everything happens for a reason. It's made me see what an amazing husband I have. He has handled the news with such courage. I'm sure your DH will be the same x
    Yes, I am going through the city clinic but the surgery etc will be done in the day surgery hospital.

  6. #354
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissJude View Post

    I am not sure how I managed to go to work and cope with daily life in the lead up to the surgery. Having to act normal with mtese on the horizon was incredibly difficult and I was very emotional. I had a couple of sick days when I just couldn't cope.

    xx
    I am not coping very well. I have been crying a lot in the last two weeks. I could wake up crying in the middle of the night. Stared in front of the computer whole day at work and barely got. anything done. A lot of triggering events as well. Yes i had called in sick or took annual leave few times now. I actually just want to go on leave for the rest of the year. I dont feel excited about anything else at the moment. Feel like a depression.

  7. #355
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    Bbhope.... I know this isn't much help, but I can say that I spent the better part of a year absolutely crying my eyes out - crying all the way to work, crying all the way home again etc. I really thought I would not get over that part of my life until I have a baby in my arms, but for much of this year, though I've still done lots of crying, it's not been half as bad. I look back and think how I've got over that part. I know it doesn't feel like that right now, but I'm sure one day you'll feel like that too xx

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  9. #356
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    littlesunflowers is offline It's not about the seeds - it's how you grow the flowers
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    *hugs* bbhope. I remember that phase, it was awful. I took a lot of days off too, but mostly going to work was a great help as it was a distraction. It's perfectly normal to be upset or depressed in this situation, particularly when all you can do for now is wait, and all I can suggest is finding the best way to deal with the waiting. If you need extra support then you could look for a counsellor - doesn't have to be a clinic one, some big workplaces allow you to access free sessions, or your GP can refer you to someone. If work is a challenge maybe you could ask about reduced hours for a while. I read somewhere that some people deliberately limit their time thinking about the infertility, to an hour a day or something like that - it helped me to do that particularly when I was at work, I would tell myself there was no point in guessing at what might happen and to focus on something else. And you don't know yet what will happen in the future; two years ago I was sure we were never going to able to have children, and now here I am planning my time off and starting to shop in baby stores. Hang in there!

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  11. #357
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    It is such a difficult thing to go through and I think what makes it worse is that not everyone around you knows what is going on. Everyone expects you to be normal and be coping with every day occurrences like normal when really they are the last thing you are worried about. Lately I've been trying to deal with things by using the allocated time to think about infertility. littlesunflowers metioned it above and a friend recommended it to me. I think it helps me to realise I need to invest time in thinking about other parts of my life. This journey may not work out the way I hope. I need to focus on anything else as well. The other thing that has been helping me is meditation. I got a free app on my phone which I try to play every day. I hope you get some comfort from these things as well. x

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  13. #358
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    Bertie, are u cycling this month?

  14. #359
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    Bbhope... thanks for thinking of me. Yes, I started my jabs (Menopur) on Wed, and go for first BT on Monday. I'm doing Intrallipid treatment tomorrow for immune issues, so it's I've not had much time to think / worry about IVF or spend too much time on Bub-hub. Perhaps that's a good thing, though I'm kind of feeling a little detached. It's like I don't want to get too hopeful, though at the same time I keep saying to myself that I should be hopeful. Catch 22 situation. Hope you're good. What's your timing like?

  15. #360
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    Is there a particular reason that you use menopur this time? I had done 2 BTs. 1 just to confirm that I am down regulated. The other one on Fri to see if i am reacting to the drugs. The new milestone I guess will be on Monday. It will be BT and ultrasound. Had a little prob with the admin at the clinic with the payment. I found it ridiculous that they don't let us do bank transfer. It is a heaping cost up front cost (all at once regardless the outcome of the surgery...like ICIS etc). It seems like everything will unfold quite quickly once the start of the stim drug. One more week to go. It will go quickly. Try not to worry too much (easier said than done). Enjoying sydney with hubby.


 

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