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  1. #331
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    Welcome missjude, i was planning to write the post to you yesterday but got distracted. Actually, got a bit scare after hearing your story. DH is doing the mtese in Dec and we haven't heard any successful story here on bubhub for as long as i remember.

    There is a donor sperm thread on bubhub. Several ladies here are on there. You should join there as well. This thread has become a bit quiet.

    You are far ahead of us in term of progress. We also found out about the the azoo early this year. Devastated. I need to see a counselor but havent. DH does not want to consider donor. He tried to convince me that we should just accept not having a child for the rest of our life. Even forget about the ivf, mtese etc. Now i am eligible to see a qualified counselor, i will do it for my sanity.

    I am going back and forward about the idea of a donor. I can relate how you felt yesterday. Sometime i feel ok and sometime i am not. I can say that to hubby because if i am in doubt, i will even make it harder to convince him. I think we should go in prepared and ready to sign onto the waitlist in the worst case scenario.

    You are brave and have gone this far. You are just another step to actually have a chance being a mother.

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  3. #332
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    Bbhope please don't give up hope! I obsessively read everything I could find regarding mtese before it happened this week and I read so many success stories. There is so much positive information about it and the chances are really good for many cases. Maybe it's been a while since there's been a success story but that just means we are due for one - maybe it will be you.

    Thank you for your advice regarding the donor sperm thread. I will be sure to go and check it out. I feel completely isolated regarding what we are doing and don't know anyone in the same situation. I would love to connect with others who are going through the same and who won't judge me.

    I think the counsellor will help you to sort out your thoughts. I had no idea what I was going to do until we went and saw one. He really reassured me in the way he said we were thinking things through the right way and whatever we decided would be the right choice for us. In saying that it has been incredibly hard.

    I totally understand the going back and forth. I went around and around in circles. I think it's really important to try and talk it through with DH and tell him you're worried your doubts will make it harder to convince him but you need to let them out. Feel free to PM me as well. I think the only way is just to talk and talk and talk and read and read and read. Eventually you will find what's right for you. It just takes time. Unfortunately it's time we feel like we don't have already.

    In regards to the waitlist we didn't have one so maybe this will happen for you as well?

    Thank you for your encouraging words. Please don't lose hope!!!

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    bbhope  (04-11-2013)

  5. #333
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    littlesunflowers is offline It's not about the seeds - it's how you grow the flowers
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    Hi MissJude. We were in exactly your position in 2012. It was a year between our first 0 count and the mTESE confirming DH doesn't produce sperm. We chose a donor partway through the process, had that as a backup for the mTESE, and while that cycle ended in miscarriage a second cycle with donor only means baby is due in a few months. We're very happy!


    I also thought long and hard about our decision, and did a lot of reading, and came to the conclusion that there is no right and wrong answer, only what's right for you. We have chosen a donor who said that he wants to help infertile couples have a child, and who is willing to have some contact when that child becomes an adult, and this feels like the right decision for us and for baby. Feel free to PM me if you're interested in our thoughts on anything more specific.


    There are books out there on the donor experience from everyone's point of view and you can probably find some at your local public/state/university library. Some clinics also have support groups which might include people who have used a donor. There are also some larger support groups but all I know about them is their websites - e.g. http://www.australiandonorconceptionnetwork.org

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  7. #334
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissJude View Post

    In regards to the waitlist we didn't have one so maybe this will happen for you as well?
    Thanks MissJude. It is time for me to get help from a counselor. I have been avoiding it because I have had such a bad experience in the past with other issue. I can't PM you because you need to post certain number of posts on bubhub before it activates your PM system.

    Since you mentioned no waiting list, I guess you are in Queensland. I did't know that there is a doctor there who does mtese. I am from WA. The WA waiting list is 1.5--2 yr! Neither do they recruite oversea donors nor have connection with the sperm bank. That's why a long wait and they charge excessive amount of money to get on the list (seems to contradict to what one would expect, more money but yet longest wait time in the whole country). We didn't put our name down knowing that the doctor here can't perform mTESE and I just don't want to wait for that long. The doctor here will perform conventional TESE but only if we have a donor backup. No way i want to be in the limbo land for that long. Thanks to the recommendation here, we are now with IVFA and will be traveling to sydney for the mtese procedure.

    I should stop googling from now on. I read so many good things about the mTESE (for many months now) until I came across a Dr post who highly critises the procedure last night. Arggg.....

    They put me on a long down regulated cycle. I really hope it is a success for us! Finger crossed.

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  9. #335
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    littlesunflower, glad to see you back here. You must be excited about seeing the bub in real life in few months.

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  11. #336
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    Littlesunflowers.... yes, very exciting to see you're almost there. I'm so excited for you and so hope that we'll get success too one day. Do keep popping in once in a while, as I'll love to keep in touch :-)

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  13. #337
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    Bertie, are we cycling together this minth?

  14. #338
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    Hi littlesunflowers,

    How exciting! Congratulations! That is really inspiring for me, thank you for sharing.

    I totally agree with the decision just being about what's right for you, which will be different for everyone. We are very happy with our donor too. I actually feel very lucky and that, if we are able to create our family this way, then that is the way it was meant to be. Maybe they are already out there waiting for us and have just been waiting for us to go through this journey to find them.

    Thanks for your recommendations on books and the link to the website. All the best to you, I look forward to hearing all about how you are going.

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  16. #339
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    Oooh I didn't know about the certain number of posts before PM - thank you for letting me know bbhope.

    You are exactly right, we are in Queensland. Dr Eric Chung does mtese here. If anyone is reading this and looking for someone who does it, I cannot recommend him highly enough. His professional attitude and expertise just made us feel so comfortable. It left us with no doubt that we had given it our best shot.

    I am so sorry to hear about the waiting list for WA. That makes me really frustrated on your behalf! I can totally understand you not wanting to be in limbo land for that long. I hope that you have an excellent doc looking after you in Sydney, I have read a lot about how amazing some of the mtese docs are there. I considered going there myself until we found Dr Chung.

    I know what you mean about Googling. I don't know if it's just me but I seem to be able to find whatever I want to justify my feelings at the time. When donor sperm was first mentioned to me all I found was horrible stories and negative opinions. Now I only seem to find positive! It's like my Googling because an extension of my opinion already. Like I said though, I think that's probably just me!

    Absolutely fingers crossed for you!!! I'm sending you all my good luck vibes.

  17. #340
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    Bbhope... unfortunately my FSH levels were too high to start this week, so I have to wait until day 21, take the sniffer spray to bring the levels down and then start a week after then. So won't start the jabs until end of Nov or beginning of Dec.


 

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