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  1. #291
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    Bbhope.... It took my DH a good 5 days to be feeling sort of normal again, and went back to work. For him the op was on a Wed and he went back to work the following Monday. But he has an office job, so he was fine. And then it was a good couple of weeks to be completely normal, to dig in the garden or be "friendly" in the bedroom again :-))

    If they don't find sperm in the mTESE, you would go with freezing the eggs anyhow, as you wouldn't want to cancel the cycle, as that would be a waste. But others may say to cancel, as sometimes this could save a lot of money.

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    Early on in our journey we had the issue where we ended up freezing eggs. Our first cycle they did the TESA and found 7 (yes I am not missing any zeros) sperm and we fertilised my 6 eggs with that. It ended up in a BFN and no frozen embies. The next cycle we assumed would be the same but they didn't find any sperm at all. We were devastated and didn't have any back up plan in place. It was a split second decision and the eggs were frozen. Next cycle we treated as a 'frozen' and did the TESA and would have then thawed the eggs etc, but once again no sperm found.

    It was at that stage we decided that DH's sperm was never going to happen so we started down the donor path. Actually we ran away for few years, moved cities, changed careers, went overseas and then finally started with the donor. Had the equivalent of a 'frozen' cycle and used the frozen eggs with the frozen donor sperm. Had two transferred and froze 2. Both the initial and the second cycle BFN.

    Anyway there's an essay on my frozen egg experience. Knowing what I know now I probably won't have bothered with the frozen eggs. The success rate is very low, we paid storage for many years and it didn't end well. However at the same time when you have just come out of egg pick up with 6 great eggs it did seem so pointless to waste them. Also it 'stops' your body clock so those eggs will always be the age you are now and if like us (and hopefully not for anyone else on this thread) it is another 5 years until you get a BFP you do start to question the viability of your own old eggs.

    Sorry, probably not much help at all. There are so many tough decisions on this path. Good luck with whatever you decide and and to you all. I hope to be back on within the week to let you know about our miracle arrival .

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DJ Nette For This Useful Post:

    bbhope  (29-07-2013),MGC Bertie  (28-07-2013)

  4. #293
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    Bertie, how are you feeling?

    DJ Nette, thanks for telling me your story. Not long until the little one arrives. I am sure that you guys are excited.

    Our follow up visit is next week. Hoping for the best.

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    Unfortunately I got a BFN :-((
    Will probably only do one more cycle with my own eggs.
    Sitting eating comfort food - charcoal chicken, chips and chocolate.

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    Oh Bertie im am so so sorry Im devasted for you. Its good you are looking forward to the future. Indulge in as much comfort food as you want. Again im very sorry

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    MGC Bertie  (02-08-2013)

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    I am sorry Bertie. Hugs. I was just thinking about you this morning. Now, you know how to move forward. Could it be the donor? You said that it hasnt had amy success just yet. Anyway, enjoy the comfort food. Again, sorry to hear. ((

    Sent from my GT-P7510 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    MGC Bertie  (03-08-2013)

  10. #297
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    littlesunflowers is offline It's not about the seeds - it's how you grow the flowers
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    Sorry to hear that MGC Bertie.

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    Hi ladies,

    we have good and bad news. Good news is that we will probably be able to apply for PR soon. Bad news is that our FS visit didn't go very well. I am not at all satisfied with the FS answers. I feel that the FS is over confident with a lot of things. Basically, at this stage, she doesn't even want to encourage us to go with the TESE but it is up to us. The chance is NIL (as she phrased it). She also said that she can't be wrong. That's brutally honest. It isn't something we want to hear.

    I told her that my intention is to go ahead with the surgery. If none is found, store my eggs (or I decide to cancel the cycle). That can be scheduled in a month or two. While this is an option, she tried to push us into having the backup plan like donor. ie, if she doesn't find anything, we will have that right away. With this option, we will have to wait a year to find out (the waiting list here is 1 year). I am certainly not going to sit and wait for a year for the TESE (or mTESE) to be done.

    Basically, the entire session was a bit confusing. I already told her my idea but was pushed into the 2nd option of donor back up. Then, she kept asking us what options did we want to choose. I asked about the donor list if we can access it. She said that if that is what we want, she can pass our info to the coordinator. Since DH didn't say a word, she just asked us if we need more time to think about it because if we aren't sure, she didn't want to waste the time and effort looking into the donor stuff. Also, I actually felt that she was getting a bit impatience with us this time. Obviously, not giving the business to them by going ahead with a treatment is wasting their time. A bit disappointed. How do i know if I would like to have the donor if I dont' even know what's on the "menu"? Perhaps the only nice gesture today was to gather useful booklets for us to take home.

    I forgot to ask about the FSH and testorone results. She didn't discuss it but only mentioned the genetic tests.

    We also just got a $800 bill for the BTs in the mail today. Half of it isn't claimable with our private insurance. I can see that medical bill is starting to build up in the next few months.

    Is it true that they can't store small number of sperms (if found) with TESE (or mTESE)?

  12. #299
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    littlesunflowers is offline It's not about the seeds - it's how you grow the flowers
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    I thought some people on here had stored vials from TESE where they later only found a few sperm, but I don't know the circumstances - hopefully they can answer for you.

    It's not helpful when the FS comes across as pushy. I'd guess she was trying to get you to a baby the quickest way possible, which is her job and would be great in almost any other circumstance, but not in this kind of case. Don't let yourself feel pushed...if you want to do a TESE without donor backup because you want to evaluate your options based on those results, make it clear that it's the only path you want to follow at the current time. People do go on to ask friends or family to be donors, or to adopt, or become foster parents, or decide children are not to be a part of their lives.

    Looking at a donor list for the first time can also be very overwhelming. We found a donor that we feel is perfect, but the first read through the list was difficult because we knew DH was not on that list, and that was 3 months after we knew our TESE outcome.

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  14. #300
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    Hi all

    As promised, I'm back to announce the safe arrival of Hannah Jane! Arrived 1st August weighing 3.2 kg. We are all home now and settling in well. I cannot believe how smitten DH is. He is totally in love and there is now no question in my mind that we have made the right decision.

    bbhope - don't be pushed around. Take all the time you need. We never fully came to the donor decision until we fully processed that there was no other option, and that was quite some time after are unsuccessful TESA. While you might still end up going donor, you need to fully accept the idea before making any decisions. There really isn't any room for a 'what if' with something so important.

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