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  1. #161
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    MGC - so sorry your cycle didn't work, how are you guys doing? It must be very hard as I'm sure like RTT said you had a lot riding on it, sounds like you are already planning the next steps though which is good as it gives you something to focus on. You'll get there and it will be all the more special and amazing when you do.

    Two Souls - as someone currently on the pill I can say 'yes', they can tweak the dates and be more flexible about when you start etc. That's really weird about not being given the donor list until you're ready to go straight away? I can't see what difference it makes. Anyway sounds like you have a great plan for cycling end of April, yay!

    OptimisticAussie - sounds like you've had a very stressful time, I know what you mean about finding some relief once you know either way if there is any hope of finding sperm or not so you can move on. My hubby and I have been waiting and researching for so long that I just want to get on with it and find out!

    AFM - still waiting for the nurse at IVFA to ring and tell me when I'm supposed to start all the drugs. We have our mTESE and egg collection booked for 19th April, and they are putting me on the long protocol, so I guess I'd be starting sniffing around the end of this month or even earlier? How long did you do that stage for? Dr G gives us 25% or less chance because he had undetectable Inhibin B results. So not great odds and we don't have our hopes up too much, but at least we'll know one way or another and can move on either way.

    Peonies - how are you doing?

  2. #162
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    Sweet... my DH is coping fairly well, as the news of only finding 1 sperm is not any different for what we've known for a year now. The only thing, is now DH is kind of hoping that we will get 1 sperm by ejaculation next time and that this will become a baby. He knows + we've talked endlessly about how this 1 sperm might have something inherently wrong with it, and that at some point we're going to need to accept that and go entirely with donor sperm. DH wants to wait the full 72 days before trying again, where as I want to start ASAP as it will fit nicely into the April school holidays, so I won't have to have so much time off work. At the moment we're at an impasse, and will wait until seeing the FS on Wed and see what he says about waiting the 72 days for this one little sperm to grow (and then we could still miss it!)

    TwoSouls.... I can't work out the system of the donor list - I'm sure it doesn't have to be as complicated as it seems to be. I've emailed Kirsty saying that we want to use it in the next two months, so will see what she replies back with on Monday as to when we actually get to choose.

    OptimisticAussie.... so sorry there was no sperm. It's such dreadful news, even when you're half expecting it. Had a little laugh about you getting free food and drinks in your hotel :-))

    Ginios.... Good luck with your mTESE. I know those chances are fairly small, but it's not definitive, so maybe Dr G will strike it lucky with your DH. Apart from the 1 sperm he found in my DH a couple of weeks ago there hasn't been any successes reported here on Bubhub, so maybe you'll be the lucky one (my DH's 1 sperm can hardly be ranked successful!!) This time I was on the long down regulation (Agonist) - I started sniffing on Day 21 of my cycle and sniffed for 13 days until my next AF came and started the injections. Hope that helps?

  3. #163
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    Ginios I started sniffing the 23rd of January and had the surgery the surgery the 15th of February so just over 3 weeks. I'd give a ring this week just to remind them to let you know when to start and if you don't already have your synerol they can post it out.

    Bertie I'm going to call tomorrow to let them know we have an appointment booked with Dr P so we want to look at the list the end of the month. Hopefully she might be able to explain it go me a bit better

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    MGC Bertie  (11-03-2013)

  5. #164
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    Hey Two Souls,

    I would of went the down the anonymous path, but it is important to the hubby to try and get his genetics in there so we'll see what we can do. We're going to wait a few months before we get into it and my hubby has also started planning a trip to Germany, which made me think "no, not using my holiday time on travelling, I want to them for our baby journey!" but if that is what he needs I will go with it I guess.
    April will come before you know it. So exciting for you!

    Hi Ginios, I haven't read much about your journey. Where are you at at this stage? The first GP to give my hubby the news said he had NO chance of ever having a biological child just based on the semen analysis (he was so horrible about it though). I researched like mad for weeks and first had my heart set on it just being a blockage. We went back to the GP and requested blood tests- he refused to add FSH to the referral so we hand wrote it on. When FSH was high I gave up on it beng a blockage. Initially the doctor's receptionist said all hormones were fine so we got so excited for one night until we were told the accurate results the next day. Hubby then had genetic tests done through FS and we were a little excited when after the 3 week wait they came back fine and we then had our hearts set on the surgery. Four months later I wonder if we should of just taken the harsh truth from the first GP. I hope for you to have a more positive result than we did.

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    MGC Bertie  (11-03-2013)

  7. #165
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    Two Souls, Sorry to say this but I think Kirsty is misleading you. When they give you access to the donor list they can’t filter it so you only see the ‘hetero couples only’. When you pick a donor the rules are that you have to use it within 6 weeks (not 2) or the donor will go back onto the list to be used by another person. When they give you access to the list your password will only work for 2 weeks, but they will give you a new password after 2 weeks. This is so they can control who is accessing the list. I would ask for access to the list now as you may want to take some time deciding. When we picked our donor he didn’t have restrictions for only hetro couples and Kirsty was a bit annoyed with me, but she let me have him. We were also not scheduled to start for 7 weeks but because it was scheduled she let me keep it. And yes you can come off the pill and start a cycle straight away and taking the pill means you can manipulate your cycle so the timing works for you. We’ve schedule the next cycle around DH’s uni exams and some travel I need to do for work as well as availability with the Prof.

    Optimistic Aussie I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I was a mess after we found out as well. But in hindsight it did take some of the stress off to have a definitive answer and being able to make plans for the next step. I have been really surprised with how well DH is dealing with it too.

    Ginios Have you discussed if you will be proceeding with the EPU if no sperm are found. Sorry to ask a negative question but please make sure you have discussed it with your Dr/nurse so you don’t waste money. Hopefully you are the success story for TESE. I book a holiday to Japan before we did the TESE. In the end I was really glad I did as we both need a break and some time together away from all the stress, but I had a lot of holidays and was told by work to use it or lose it.

    MGC That must be hard not being on the same page with your DH. I guess you can’t do anything but wait for the FS.

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    MGC Bertie  (14-03-2013)

  9. #166
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    MGC - I can totally understand why you want to just get on with things (I've been like that for a while, always the one wanting to get going)! Hopefully your specialist will be able to advise what's best. The waiting is a killer!

    Two souls - (and MGC) thanks for your advice on the long protocol, we had our orientation meeting today in the city clinic with one of the nurses (Sue) who was so lovely and spent an hour talking us through everything (although most of it I already knew as I've been researching and on forums for almost 5 years!). Because I've been on the pill (we were originally planning to cycle with a specialist in New York), I can't do the nasal spray unfortunately and have to kick off straight away with lucrin injections for the down regulation phase of the cycle. Sue gave me the drugs today and I start jabbing next Wednesday (eek!). I'm very excited about getting going at long last, at least it will give me something to focus on so I stop driving myself crazy with the 'what-ifs'. Best of luck with the donor saga Two Souls, sounds like they are misleading you and making it very complicated!

    Sweet - thanks for asking about EPU, yes we did ask about this and they are going to go ahead with it and freeze my eggs if no sperm is found. I know there is some controversy about how effective egg freezing is but we've been advised that it should be fine in our case, so we will freeze and hope to use with donor sperm if that happens. Being realistic, we realise there's a very high probability we'll need to go down the donor route and we're both fine about that. Just a quick question for you on the anon donor aspect - I thought all donors now had to be identifiable and put on a register so the child can contact them if they wish? Maybe it's a different rule in different states? Not sure where I read it but would love to know more.

    Optimistic Aussie - Hi and thanks for asking about us, we found out almost 5 years ago that DH was azoospermic (due to mumps he got when he was 30). At the time we weren't trying to start a family and it totally threw us - I researched like crazy and found an amazing UK-based forum that has a lot of other couples that are azoospermic, I still post on that forum as well. I wanted to rush straight into treatment but it took my DH a looooong time to come to terms with the diagnosis (he got a girlfriend pregnant when he was a teenager so there was a lot of sadness that it could never happen naturally for us). Anyway, here we are 5 years later and we have seen in our time more than 5 experts, one in America, and I feel I know more about it than every GP in the country put together!!! We're doing a fresh mTESE / ICSI cycle on 19th April.

    My heart goes out to you about the surgery not being successful, where did you have the surgery done? Are you going to try again? I know from experience that the donor thing is very hard to get your head around at first, but your DH may just need some more time. I think (generalising here) that men tend to bury their head in the sand and don't have the same biological clock ticking that we girls do so they take longer to come to terms with things. Have you had any counselling at a fertility clinic? We were against this to begin with but about a year ago DH said after trying to ignore the problem wasn't helping and he was finding it really tough. We went together and it wasn't lying on a couch crying style counselling, it was actually really informative and practical and helped us to think through the donor route properly. It's important to get a fertility counsellor and not just a regular one though, as they know what they're talking about and the various laws etc around donor/adoption and so on. Just a thought, it could help you. Best of luck.

  10. #167
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    Ginios.... I believe the rules regarding anonymous donor sperm are the same for the whole of Australia, i.e. that the child is allowed to get contact details of the donor when the child turns 18. The donor is not allowed to get details of the child at all (until the child contacts them). That's my understanding, but I'm sure others will weigh in on the discussion.

    Looks like we're going to cycle together. My EPU is scheduled at the moment for 19/4/13, the same as you!!

    AFM.... went and saw our FS yesterday to discuss last failed cycle and plan the next cycle. Major discussion points of interest were:
    - he mentioned that last time my LH levels weren't increasing as much as he expected, so will adjust meds next time
    - he will use progesterone injections instead of pessaries, as he said they are much more effective (not sure why he doesn't use them all the time then!). He said progesterone injections will keep AF away for a long while, so the only side-effect of this, is that AF wil definitely not come before the preg BT, so you can't use AF as an indicator if the cycle worked or not (but that's peace of mind, knowing that it's not AF that stuffed up the cycle)
    - he will do one and a half times the normal trigger injection, as he thought out of 6 follicles that we should have got more than 3 eggs. I said I was happy with 3 eggs out of 6 follicles, but he said that increasing the trigger shot should make a difference.
    - he really doesn't think waiting the full 72 days for sperm to mature is going to make any difference to DH's 1 or 2 sperm, so we're going to go ahead now (which will mean only 58 days from mTESE when all good sperm was scooped up)
    - he's going to use both assisted hatching and embryo glue during transfer, as well as doing guided ultrasound transfer (which I've not had on my previous two transfers), so it seems there's a few new things for this cycle compared to the past three.
    - interestingly (and peonies, I think you'll like this one!) we've convinced him to do something that he said he's never done before - as DH only gets 1-2 sperm, we've insisted that we want to use both DH's 1-2 sperm, plus use donor back-up, e.g. if we get 3 eggs and 1 DH sperm, then 1 egg + 1 DH sperm is put into one dish, and the other 2 eggs are put with donor sperm in a separate dish. He said this hasn't been done before. Plenty of people have donor sperm ready as back-up, but that's because they find no sperm, but that DH is a special case as he often gets just 1 good sperm, and that's unusual - men usually have plenty or none, so it's always clear which way to go. At first he wasn't happy to go with our plan, and all of a sudden I was thinking that I'd have to start again at a different clinic to get what I want, but after some discussion, he agreed he would do it. To be honest, I think he seemed a little interested in trying it, since it's not done at all normally.

  11. #168
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    Ginios – I believe all donors have to go on a register and their details are made available to the child when they turn 18 if they want. You can only contact the donor before the child turns 18 if the donor says you can. The rules are national not state. On the sperm donor list there was a section for the donor to note if they were happy to be contacted. All the donors I looked at had ticked yes. My DH did bury his head in the sand a bit on his diagnosis. Although we had already been TTC for a while at that stage, it had been assumed the problem was with me so that was quite a shock for us. It always seems to be me doing the research, making appointments and asking questions. To the extent that I do worry that I am pushing him too much. But then he is very definite when he makes a decision, be that to proceed with the TESE or which donor we’re going with. Best of Luck.

    MGC That sounds like a great plan. I’m glad your Dr is adapting to your circumstances and it does sound like a good compromise for you and your DH.

    AFM Counselling is on Monday with the cycle to start on the 6th April. I’ve been away from DH for the last week which has been hard. I get quite homesick when I’m away for this long and it does get me down. At least the travel is only for this month which really isn’t long to go now.

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    MGC Bertie  (16-03-2013)

  13. #169
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    MGC - yay we're cycle buddies! Wonder if we'll see each other in the waiting room??! That's great that you have such a good plan for the next cycle and I'm sure you're glad to be getting going again so soon afterwards (I always find the waiting so hard). Interesting about the progesterone and also the assisted hatching/embryo glue and guided ultrasound transfer - I wonder why they don't always do that? I'll be asking Dr P that for sure!!!

    Thanks Sweet and MGC for explaining about the donor, that all fits with what I thought I knew I guess the word anon just confused me as I thought that meant they wouldn't be contactable for the child when they turn 18. Thanks for clarifying!

    Sweet great that your cycle isn't too far away, sounds like plans are falling into place. Sorry you're feeling homesick do you have to travel a lot with work? I'm hoping I can avoid any interstate travel for the next couple of months while I'm cycling, without telling work I'm doing IVF. I know they would be supportive but I work in such a male dominated industry that I don't want to be sidelined because they are waiting for the pregnancy announcement!

    So excited about starting DR on Wednesday, although kind of dreading the injections! Mind over matter, mind over matter

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  15. #170
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    Ginios Very exciting to get started. The needles were always far worse in my head then the actual experience.

    Well the counselling was the waste of time I thought it would be. She left us waiting for an hour in the waiting room while she made personal phone calls (we could hear her plans for the weekend from the waiting room) so we were both in rather antagonistic moods before we went in. We were then greeted with ‘there isn’t really anything to discuss today as we covered it all last time’. She then gave us some incorrect information about what our next steps will be, and let us go after 5 min when we had no questions. I can’t believe they made us take an afternoon off work for that (she only works 10 to 3). I hate it when people waste my time, I find it really unprofessional. If they send me another $200 bill for that I will be complaining.


 

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