Would you leave........

**whatwasithinking** · 26-08-2006 21:09

I went to my dd's friends 4th birthday party today and out of 40 children, 20 of the parents left their children at the party and came back 2hrs later to pick them up. These children were no older than 5!

One little girl said goodbye to her mummy and went off to play but an hour later must of realised mummy wasn't there and was so distraught and hysterically crying and she kept asking where her mummy was and there was nothing anyone could do for her as we couldn't say exactly where she was except "Mummy has gone for awhile and will be back soon" (most of the parents there did not know who the child was and was asking the other parents if this child was their's). It was soooo heartbreaking.

Who in their right mind does that? Can't parents stay for 2hrs of their lives to be at a kids party. If life is too busy then don't take the child to the party.

Sorry I am really cranky and upset - still even 9hrs later!!

**Mamaduke** · 26-08-2006 21:12

I wouldn't do it.
If they were very close friends then I would be staying at the party anyway, and if they weren't close friends, but kinder friends etc then I'd be staying because I don't know the family...
what people will do for a couple of hours of peace and quiet!!!

**the_queen** · 26-08-2006 21:14

I agree - I like to stay when DD goes to a party, either because I want to spend time with the other mums that I know, or because I don't know the other mums and I don't want to leave her there alone.

Irresponsible, that's what I call it.

**Elfin** · 26-08-2006 21:14

My son is 7 and I will only do it if I know the parents well. I have only done it twice but it has only been this year. The only reason I did is that I had to pick up my dh otherwise my son would not of been able to go to the party. I usually stay and I would never leave my 4yo or 3yo at a party by themselves.

**cwsmum** · 26-08-2006 21:18

I'd never leave a child at a party, not at 4 or 5yrs old. I think I'll be putting on the invitations for DS's b'day party that parents will need to stay...or I may just have it at the park then they have no choice

**Mamaduke** · 26-08-2006 21:19

There is the other side of the coin...
I can't invite children, have their parents bring them and stay, and not cater for the parents in the way of food and drink (soft drinks).
So if you did have 40 children coming and each of those children brought along 2 parents...that would be some preparing you'd have to do!
So how does one know if it is a 'drop off' party or a 'stay' party?
What is the proper kid's party etiquette when it comes to kinder/school friends?

Just another thing...my friend had her daughter's party this year and decided to invite the neighbour's children (being nice)..well the father and the mother turn up together (even though they're seperated) and stay just long enough to grab a sausage & beer each and then they wandered back to the father's house for a while, only coming back to grab another beer!!! They were present when the party finished but didn't take their children home, they just walked out the door calling out, "just send them back when you're sick of them!"...can you believe it?

**whatwasithinking** · 26-08-2006 21:20

Originally Posted by cwsmum

I think I'll be putting on the invitations for DS's b'day party that parents will need to stay...or I may just have it at the park then they have no choice

I thought the same thing as it has really put me off having a party for DD.

**whatwasithinking** · 26-08-2006 21:25

Originally Posted by Mamaduke

There is the other side of the coin...
I can't invite children, have their parents bring them and stay, and not cater for the parents in the way of food and drink (soft drinks).
So if you did have 40 children coming and each of those children brought along 2 parents...that would be some preparing you'd have to do!
So how does one know if it is a 'drop off' party or a 'stay' party?
What is the proper kid's party etiquette when it comes to kinder/school friends?

They didn't offer any parents any food or drinks at this party.

But that would be something you would have to be prepared for especially as parents would stay with littlies. If they can't cater for all the parents - then don't invite so many kids.

Etiquette: You have a party - you cover for everyone!!!

**Elfin** · 26-08-2006 21:27

Mamaduke when the parents RSVP you could ask them if they are going to stay or drop off. When I have had parties some parents have asked me if I wanted them to stay and i would always say yes. I think CWSMum's idea is good, that if you want parents to stay then say it on the invite. You could also have some extra adult helpers along like family members to keep eye specifically on the children left by their parents. An at home party or party at a playcentre is probably better if children are going to be left. With parks unless they are the contained variety, it would be easy to lose sight of a child. Some parents have parties at the local pool and this is not somewhere I would ever choose as it would be too stressful.

I didn't notice parents leaving kids until we hit 6yo parties before that I think most often the parents stayed. Hopefully it is not too common before 6.

**Mamaduke** · 26-08-2006 21:28

Originally Posted by MissUnderstood

Etiquette: You have a party - you cover for everyone!!!

That's what I always thought - but I've been to so many without as much as a cup of water for the parents that I started to think that maybe I was the only one still recognising 'old fashioned' etiquette!