Opinion of mums who have used routine books

**Mealsy** · 03-10-2010 17:56

My DS is 6 weeks old and is pretty inconsistant during the days and sleeps two hourly cycles during the night after a bf each time. When pregnant, I was given Gina fords book to read. I liked the sound of it, however I also love being there for my son to cuddle, comfort and feed when he needs it. My maternal nurse and midwife at hospital are all very anti routine, which has put me off using one. I am also reading pinky mackays book at the moment and she is also anti routine and goes into explaining that a routine or cc ( I personally wouldn't do cc this young, if at all) can damage a relationship between mother and baby as the baby learns not to rely on you for comfort. I guess I'm asking for feedback from mums that have used a routine on younger babies and whether they have lived to regret it or worse, found that a damaged the trust and bond between mother and baby??? Thank you for reading.

**JetGirl** · 03-10-2010 18:09

We used save our sleep from 8.5 weeks. DD is so very happy and thrives on it. She feeds better, is more alert and at 5 months sleeps 7-7. She smiles going to bed and smiles getting up. I am happy because I too love routine and I'm sure me being relaxed and confident rubs off on DD. When we go out she will sleep anywhere. She rarely cries because she doesn't need to as her needs are always being met. You can see in her eyes that she loves us and feels safe and loved in return. HTH

**threechooks** · 03-10-2010 18:11

We used save our sleep too, though I would sneek breastfeeds in when he demanded it. I won't feed on a routine but we used the sleep routines. It worked well. I personally wouldn't do a strict routine until 3-4 months...

**FearlessLeader** · 03-10-2010 19:02

i use the babybliss routine and started when ds was about 12 weeks and his day sleeps were disappearing. I love it because it's not a 'at 7.15 do x' type of book, it just works on a sleep/feed/play cycle, and gives a rough idea of how long each cycle should last for your baby's age. It's really flexible so if bubs is having a rough day or a growth spurt it caters for that, but also gave me an idea of how long ds *might* (not should) sleep at each nap.
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**fludo** · 03-10-2010 19:51

I love routines too. I don't understand the idea that a routine would damage the relationship between mum and bub. Maybe if you were too strict with it and bub is crying for food and you're like "nope, it's not time yet!" But what happens with a routine is this......the people who come up with them have worked them out based on what works for MOST babies MOST of the time. So when you start feeding your baby at roughly the set intervals, they get used to eating at those intervals so they take enough milk at each feed to last the time. As long as you are flexible for when bub has a growth spurt or is unsettled, they're great. I think the claims that babies on routines are happier make sense. They know what to expect next, their needs are being met. I started this bub, now 6.5 weeks, on a routine from the start. Very flexible to start with, with my main aim being to get him to take full feeds each time and not letting him go longer than 3 hours between feeds so that they get most of their calories in the day. That set up a regular feeding pattern by itself. And I try to start each day at 7am. I found he automatically started sleeping longer stretches at night if I fed him regularly during the day.

**em1984** · 03-10-2010 20:23

I personally hated routines, bowed to pressure and tried a few, only resulted in me being more stressed out and therefore bubs being more distressed. I'm a go-with-the-flow kinda gal, and once I allowed myself to do this (following bub's cues) we both relaxed. I also don't get how a book can tell you what your baby is feeling, when it should be hungry, what it should be doing and when to do things etc. it doesn't seem natural and they are all different, I can't see how there can be a one-size fits all approach? When did we lose the ability to just trust our instincts and allow babies to just be babies?!

**Mealsy** · 03-10-2010 21:18

Geez, i'm finding it so tricky to make a decision. Both approches have such vaild points. I am a routine person generally, i guess due to being a single mum for the last 6 years and working fulltime but i never used a routine with dd when she was a baby. However i was very young when I had her and I guess I never new there were other options out there. I find I am just always second guessing my self with ds, is he sleeping enough, is he feeding enough.. The one part of the day that he settles really well and is exact in his actions is actually the evening, which is the one time of the day that has been the same since birth. This makes me feel he might suit a routine. However i fear that as pinky mackay explains, a routine does not take in count that each babies developmental stages are at differant paces and when forced, this can lead to lastig effects.
I like to sound of the feed play sleep, I think this is the structure that the day clinic I am attending on Thursday implement. I am such an indecisive person, and as I'm sure u can tell, I'm really finding it hard to listen to my gut feeling and I feel time is passing by and I will regret stressing over the right thing to do rather then relaxing and enjoying my beautiful healthy ds. Thank you all so much for your replies, any more advise would be appreciated.

**Mealsy** · 03-10-2010 21:58

Em1984, do you mind me asking, what age did your baby settle into a " pattern"? How freq does bubs feed through out the night?

**Annabella** · 03-10-2010 22:08

I used babywise very loosely. I didn't follow the routine as such (I'm pretty all over the place generally) but I followed the basic feed play sleep and not feeding to sleep, encouraging full feeds etc. I was very flexible and followed it to suit me and my baby and as a result ended up in a rough 2.5-3 hr routine. I have always followed my instincts and consider myself to be a very attached mum. My babies have always slept well and been very content. I started it from day 1 but like I said, it was more that I tried to do those things (full feeds) rather than putting my babies on a routine/schedule. That kind of just happened by itself.

**Hollywood** · 03-10-2010 22:11

My sister uses SOS Tizzy Hall for her DS, but waited until he was 3 months to start. Until that point she just fed on demand, had him in a bassinet in their room and didn't really follow any routine. She had great success with SOS and my nephew now sleeps through the night without a peep from 7pm until about 8am (sometimes 7am). Oh, and he is fully breastfed and has solids too (he's now 8 months old).