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  1. #21
    nat278's Avatar
    nat278 is offline <<< View from the little piece paradise I call home....
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    I don't find getting into 'food fights' with my DS helps, we tried leaving food there til he eats it but it doesn't work so DH and I decided to take a more overall approach meaning not get caught up on what he eats at one meal time but focus on what he eats over the whole day... Your son refused the sausage roll but ate the whole banana so in our house we would view that as a win because a whole banana is better for him than the sausage roll anyway and at least at properly.

    We have found also when we eat a meal we make him eat at table with us but don't fuss on if he eats anything as long as he is with us so he learns the environment meal times of eating with us, he is served the same meal as us and if he does eat we praise him, if not we just let him chat and be with us with no pressure to eat (if he gets stressed we even tell him "it's ok you don't have to eat" and let him push plate away), we have found he will eat most nights now because he doesn't feel pressured too and knows he won't get in trouble if he doesn't eat.

    After DH and I started to think about how we approached eating with DS we realised a few things that helped

    1. Putting ourself in his shoes, we realised he was getting anxious when we were always negotiating terms of eating ie. Eat 3 bits, eat it now or stay at table till you finish etc

    2. We don't always feel hungry at 9,12, 3 and 6 so why expect him too always want to eat at set times so made it breakky is anytime before 9, lunch is between 12 and 1:30 and dinner is 4:30 to 6ish depending on our plans for the day snacks are just when ever

    3. He has his own tastes and it's ok for him to say no to eating some things but do encourage he tries new foods before saying he doesn't like it

    4. Just like us he doesn't always want the same thing so mix up to meals for more variety

    And lastly somedays he just isn't hungry...

    Hope you have luck and find something that works for you...
    Last edited by nat278; 19-09-2010 at 18:17.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuchsia! View Post
    I don't make my kids eat anything they don't want and don't force them to eat.

    Thats me though, I don't want my kids to have an unhealthy relationship with food.

    I know myself sometimes i might feel like something, then when im actually eating it, i don't want it anymore.

    I also couldn't stand if someone put something in front of me i don't like and made me eat it all.

    If my kids don't want it, then they don't want it and i don't force them to eat anything.

    I also don't cook seperate meals. If they don't like what i cook, they are quite welcome to have some fruit and yogurt or make themselves a sandwich.

    My children are awesome eaters majority of the time. I want them to have a nice relationship with food.

    When i was a child, my mother used to force me to eat everything on my plate or i would go without, even now as an adult, i feel like i HAVE to finish whats on my plate because thats what was drummed into my head from an early age and i have a very unhealthy relationship with food.

    I'm sorry, but how is that an unhealthy relationship wtih food? It sickens me more to my stomach when people chuck food when there are people starving out there. Food is a luxury for many people and you should treat it with respect.

    IMHO if you don't want to eat a lot, don't put a lot on your plate. I personally was never allowed to waste food and neither did my mum growing up and I can't say I have an unhealthy relationship with food, I have a respectful one.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuchsia! View Post
    I don't make my kids eat anything they don't want and don't force them to eat.

    Thats me though, I don't want my kids to have an unhealthy relationship with food.

    I know myself sometimes i might feel like something, then when im actually eating it, i don't want it anymore.

    I also couldn't stand if someone put something in front of me i don't like and made me eat it all.

    If my kids don't want it, then they don't want it and i don't force them to eat anything.

    I also don't cook seperate meals. If they don't like what i cook, they are quite welcome to have some fruit and yogurt or make themselves a sandwich.

    My children are awesome eaters majority of the time. I want them to have a nice relationship with food.

    When i was a child, my mother used to force me to eat everything on my plate or i would go without, even now as an adult, i feel like i HAVE to finish whats on my plate because thats what was drummed into my head from an early age and i have a very unhealthy relationship with food.
    Yep I'm of the same thinking. There are times when I want tea early, sometimes I'm not hungry so I eat later. Sometimes I feel like chicken for dinner, sometimes not. Like adults kids have different preferences depending on lots of variables.

    My mum used to make me sit and eat brussel sprouts until they were gone. I would sit there for a couple of hours sometimes, crying and gagging. It was horrible and I swore I would never force food on my children.

    I don't want mealtimes to be a battleground. Like you the kids will have fruit or yoghurt, soup etc if they don't want what we are having. My kids are their own little people and I treat them as such. Each to their own

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    Quote Originally Posted by An Chen View Post
    I'm sorry, but how is that an unhealthy relationship wtih food? It sickens me more to my stomach when people chuck food when there are people starving out there. Food is a luxury for many people and you should treat it with respect.

    IMHO if you don't want to eat a lot, don't put a lot on your plate. I personally was never allowed to waste food and neither did my mum growing up and I can't say I have an unhealthy relationship with food, I have a respectful one.
    It's unhealthy for some because it can effect them for the rest of their lives. I have struggled with eating disorders most of my life because my parents forced me to eat everything on my plate. I was a "good girl" if I ate everything on my plate. I don't like to force MY children to eat because like I said my parents did and now i can't not finnish a plate of food even if I'm full. Of course your entitled to believe what you want and raise you're children how you are as is Fuscia or anyone that has a different approach.

  5. #25
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    Also can I just ad that if you eat something you don't want to eat you are still wasting it.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManekiNeko View Post
    It's unhealthy for some because it can effect them for the rest of their lives. I have struggled with eating disorders most of my life because my parents forced me to eat everything on my plate. I was a "good girl" if I ate everything on my plate. I don't like to force MY children to eat because like I said my parents did and now i can't not finnish a plate of food even if I'm full. Of course your entitled to believe what you want and raise you're children how you are as is Fuscia or anyone that has a different approach.
    I know you're entitled to raise your children how you like. Just how I am entitled to raise mine. DS gets to decide how much and what he gets on his plate, it's not like I force him to eat something he has no input into. That is just the rules in MY family, I'm perfectly fine that other families have different rules.

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    I agree with Fuscia that is the same approach that I take with meals.

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    And to answer the OP's question, no I don't think that it is mean. However, personally I wouldn't be forcing them to eat something like a sausage roll if it's not wanted. I would simply offer some fruit or a sandwich instead.

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    Quote Originally Posted by An Chen View Post
    I know you're entitled to raise your children how you like. Just how I am entitled to raise mine. DS gets to decide how much and what he gets on his plate, it's not like I force him to eat something he has no input into. That is just the rules in MY family, I'm perfectly fine that other families have different rules.
    But the thing is no one quoted you and questioned your beliefs they just expressed their own which was not the same as yours and it seemed as if you took it personally. And yes i said you are entitled to that I didn't not say you weren't.

  10. #30
    A Party of Five's Avatar
    A Party of Five is offline Winner 2008 � Most Boring Thread Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by catch 22 View Post
    I am mean. I keep the food that ds andd don't eat and offer that first at the next meal. They usually eat it because they are starving.
    I'm a mean mummy too I hate wasting food!


 

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