ooilou, I'm so sorry to hear that
Sending you lots of love
Oolilou I am so sorry to hear your devastating news. We wish you all the love and healing in the world.
Im so so sorry for your losses ooilou and CluckySC its not fair...miscarriage is sooo hard. Wishing you girls lots of hugs and strength
Thank you everyone for your kind supportive words. It is going to take a while to heal and I have spent a lot of today crying. My head hurts from crying so much. My belly hurts as my baby and the pregnancy tissues leave my womb and my heart hurts for the loss of the child I will never hold. DH has been amazing and is my tower of strength through all of this.
DS just went on his first school camp. My first baby is so big and independent. He is finding it difficult to perceive the loss without something physical to bury. He keeps asking if I am sure and maybe the baby was just a little bit sick for a while. We (DH and I) made an origami boat and a lotus flower today. When DS gets back (Friday) we are going to put a tea light in the flower and release the boat onto the Yarra River to set our baby free and say our goodbyes. I think it will help us all.
Thank you again
Ooilou - that sounds like a wonderful idea with the origami boat and lotus flower. I think it's important to make some form of symbolic gesture, it really helps the grief process, IMO. I've been thinking of you, and i'm sending you some strong healing vibes
I'm really nervous my intended im has just flaked on me. I had a feeling she was a bit flakey when she turned down traseal a couple of months ago stating she wasn't ready but should be for me. Anyway glad she waited to tell me now that i am almost 21 weeks and suggest I go to the hospital *sigh*. i think she thinks that I am too much of a risk although she said it was family commitments. Anyway I'm really annoyed because I feel like I have been left high and dry.
I 've noticed there are some other midwives available on homebirth site atm so have messaged them and i didn't completely say no to another I was talking to in case this happened but not sure if she thought I wasn't keen and has no spot now. I am really upset and nervous I just feel so irritated now. I don't want to go to a hospital, I don't want to freebirth and a birth centre is not an option so what the heck am I supposed to do. Gah this sucks.
Clucky and ooilou, I have been thinking about you both and hope you're both doing as well as can be Stay strong and sending you lots of love and healing.
Maneki, I seem to be hearing stories like this SO much lately! IMs waiting until halfway through a pregnancy or even just before women are due and then all of a sudden withdrawing care. It makes me so angry why can't they just be upfront at the start?
I hope you find someone else soon - maybe this is a good thing, and you'll find the perfect IM for you.
ManekiNeki, you're in brisy right?
would you like me to PM you some names and numbers to see if there are women you haven't yet called? I think its really important to join a home birth forum where women talk about their birth stories and mention who their midwife was. I think this is the best way to work out if a midwife is going to act and support you in the way you desire yk?
I think because the homebirth community is so scattered it can be hard to get consumer feedback on different midwifes, but it's so important. When I was pregnant year and a half ago, I would probably have called this one middy that advertises *everywhere* and charges like 7k and gives off an air of total expert yada yada, but in fact it turns out she hadn't even attended a single home birth as a primary midwife at that point, and has been serially dumping women (and worse calling docs) @ 38 weeks when they start to feel a bit anxious about the middy displaying a fear of birth or medwifery ways, re-discuss and ensure the midwife will be supporting them as they desire, i.e no internals or no monitoring and the midwife says nope no way and dumped them and kept their money.
The horrific news that there are midwifes like this everywhere - and they're not bad people or anything, they just have an over medicalised understanding of birth and as such carry fear from previous births they have intervened and caused drama and much like an OB now consider certain things as 'stuff wot is unsafe, and stuff wot I must do regardless of what you want, cos I think it needs to be done'
Anyway, I think unfortunately there are a lot of independent medwifes that obstetricians would love, if OBs didn't hate IMs on principle, simply because they act in ways that really may as well be a hospital at home type gig and endanger the safety of the birth by trying to be too hands on or do too much etc.
Last edited by Looshkin; 07-10-2010 at 10:19.
I'm a newbie to BubHub and a bit forum shy so this is a bit of a leap for me as is my intended HBAC.
I'm really sorry to hear of the losses of little angels and the back luck some of you have had. that it all gets better from here on in.
I have baby no. 3 due on Chrissy day although I won't hold my breath that he will come on time.
My first (DD 13) was a difficult (I think I over the word traumatic now) hospy birth involving forceps and a sticky shoulder resulting in a mild erb's palsy - now healed and strong.
My second (DS 9) a (I wouldn't call it elective - I wasn't given a choice.) caesarean.
Have been very lucky this time to find two fantastic and it appears highly reputable IM's who are willing to give me a go.
I hope to be able to share and to read others stories of positive experience and work through any negatives.
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