HELP! we have to terminate a twin :(

[CharlieSuki]

Hi ladies....... really need some positive thought right now.

We went for our 19wk scan today and the smaller of our twins has spina bifida and lots of fluid on the brain.

The humane thing to do is let him/her go and be an angel but this will be at some risk to the other twin (small risk I think they said) and i will have to still carry it up until delivery day..... this is going to be so hard!!

My husband as I are devastated and are so so sad...... we've been in absolute tears on the phone telling family how the scan went.

We were so thrilled we were having twins, we conceived via IVF and that was a hard road but this news has shocked us and all my family are overseas (his are here thank god).

We're got squeezed in to a booking for tomorrow so another hospital in Sydney can do a scan and start planning the process, cause there's only 1 week or so window they can do it.
They will inject potassium into the heart to stop it beating and that will be it until delivery day
......... then a whole other roller coaster.

I'm scared, shocked and saddened..... has anyone else been through this or known anyone who has?

I need some friendly words.

[summastarlet]

I haven't experienced this but I couldn't read without sending you some

I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. My thoughts are with you and your husband during this time.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

i have never been through it either.

[Georgias Mummy]

OMG that is so sad and going to be so hard. Good Luck !!!

[1CrazyMoose]

Oh I am so sorry to hear, I am feeling very sad for you! I too have not been through this, but I wish you and your husband all the best in this very hard time.

[Izy]

I was facing the same prospect. For me it was terminate one to save the other. It's such a hard thing to try and process!

Sadly we lost both babies during a scan quite early on, so I can't give you an inspirational story, but I can offer you a whole heap of

You are an amazingly strong woman to be dealing with this. Good luck, and don't let anyone force you into it if you're not ready. Perhaps you could speak with someone? A Counsellor or psychologist?

Can your specialist put you in contact with someone?

[danni3]

Couldn't read without sending you some .

My thoughts are with you and your family

[catch 22]

also you dont need to terminate. A disability is not a bad thing.

[brogeybear]

Gosh! I was going to say the same thing as Izy, even if there is only a small window of time I hope they are providing you with counselling, etc. as this is a HUGE thing to go through and they shouldn't use the "1 week" as something to make you make decisions under pressure, etc. I hope that they are providing you will all of your options, and I hope that you can still have both babies alive and "well".

Huge hugs, my thoughts are with you.

[Izy]

are they concerned that carrying your other bubba might risk the first one?