Nearly 3 years of Breastfeeding DS1, it hasn't always (if ever) been easy we struggled in the beginning with what I now know was an oversupply that my CHN failed to refer me to a LC for support, I was expressing at every feed for 6 weeks and in the end I gave up and decided one day to just give him formula all day, that night I completely lost the plot and sobbed my heart out to DF who promptly threw the breast pump and all the bottles and formula in the back of a dank dark cupboard after that it was pretty smooth sailing until 5 mths when I fell UTD with DS2, at this stage DS1 was feeding every 45min around the clock and I was a wreak, I snapped one day and ended up in a Mother & Baby unit for PND, they CC him for me and for the first time since he we bought him home he slept for longer then an hour or 2. I have never gotten over the guilt that went along with CC.
We struggled through pregnancy and breastfeeding, towards the end the only time he would feed was in the shower or at night when he woke, at this stage I was taking any opportunity to feed him.
I went into labour with DS2 an hour after what would be his last breastfeed before becoming a 'big' brother. Part of the reason I chose to HB was so that he would have every opportunity to feed. He didn't return to the breast until DS2 was 2 weeks old, I was expressing during this time and giving him EBM in a cup, can't remember his first feed back.
Tandem feeding wasn't without its ups (mostly the 3-4 hrs day naps we would all have together) and downs, I developed an aversion too feeding them at the same time and only did it rarely, soon it turned into a total aversion to feeding DS1, hormones played a lovely factor in our breastfeeding relationship toward the end, they made me feel like having sex, great if you have a partner that likes to have a lot of sex, bad if you don't...couple that with issues surrounding your own childhood abuse and you get a steaming pot of ickkiness. So a few months ago I started weaning him, pretty hard when your whipping it out every 2 mins for another child but I was determined to do it slowly and as gently as possible. As he has become older he has finally learnt the "my body" concept (the book Everyone Has a Bottom has helped heaps!) he now knows that my breasts belong to me and I say when he can and can't have beebees, usually when he is hurt only.
It's been over a week since DS2 shut his fingers in the front door and DS1 has not had beebees since, I have distracted him with a hug, a cup of milk or playing with something since.
So that's it, I'm done. Part of me mourns that it was not all smooth sailing, I know it has caused him and me some down moments but I also know I have made the best decisions that I could at those times. I'll never forget some special and funny moments, those are the ones I try to remember.
Here is our last tandem feeding shot, and one of his last breastfeeds, here he is feeding his teddy